Unbroken
by kittensandcombatboots
Summary: This is a reposting of Unbroken. One night will change everything for Edward and Bella. AH/AU Rated M for language, sexual content, and violence.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is a reposting of my story Unbroken. And this will be my only author's note and disclaimer for this story. I will repost a few chapters every day. I want to thank all of those who encouraged me to repost. Your support means the world to me.

Disclaimer: The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just playing for a while.

* * *

APOV

Even though Bella was yelling into my ear, I could barely hear her from our booth in the crowded club. It was my twenty-third birthday and we were out celebrating. Rose and Bella were my two best friends, had been my best friends since elementary school, and, of course, they were right by my side for my grand night of debauchery. Jasper—the love of my life—was too. And Emmett, Rose's boyfriend or friend with benefits or whatever they were this week had his tongue down her throat.

"What?" I yelled back at her, one of the few words that I had said recently that weren't slurred. It was only about 1:30, but we were all drunk like nobody's business.

Bella stood up, the black stilettos I forced on her in one hand, her clutch in the other. "I'm going to go."

"Wait, just a second," I said, turning back to Jasper.

"Jasper, baby, let's go home," I spoke as clearly as I could into his ear. He nodded at me and tapped Emmett on the shoulder. Em just flipped him off.

I turned my head back and Bella wasn't there.

"Bella!" I yelled into the crowd, but I couldn't see her. Fear, instant and deep, pitted itself in my stomach.

Her apartment was only a few blocks from the club, but it wasn't safe for a beautiful, drunk girl to walk the streets this late. Bella knew that. She was the biggest worrier out of all of us. That's why I was so scared. If she was so plastered that her personal safety meant nothing to her…

I was terrified.

"Jasper, I think Bella left," I yelled at him, running from the booth toward the entrance of the club. He was right behind me. He even ran into me when I abruptly stopped.

The bouncer saw her leave and I tried to hail a cab for her, but she just took off. She was there one second and gone the next. I dialed her number on my cell, but there was no answer. I tried again.

"Baby, stay here and keep calling her. I'll run to her apartment. Everything will be fine. Trust me," Jasper said. He kissed my cheek and took off running.

I knew that this was bad. I didn't know how, but I knew that this was very, very bad. Jasper wasn't going to find her.

I ran back into the club, pulled Emmett off of Rose, and explained the situation to them.

BPOV

I was drunk. I was so fucking plastered.

I kept dropping those death-traps that Alice called shoes as I made my way back to the apartment.

I knew I should have waited, but they were all having a fantastic time and I hated feeling like the fifth wheel all the fucking time. So I left.

And I was so very drunk.

I stumbled into a brick building and burst out laughing, dropping the shoes again.

Someone was right there in front of me, picking up my shoes. He had a charming smile and brilliant eyes.

"Here you go, Miss," he said politely. I giggled.

"Thank you very much," I said, my words blurring into one another.

I took another step and nearly fell on my face. The guy grabbed my arm and steadied me.

"You know, it's not safe to be wandering the streets alone, pretty girl."

I giggled again. "I know, but I'm almost home."

"That's good," he said, his voice smooth. I felt his grip on my arm tighten.

"You're hurting me," I said. I could feel as his fingers dug even deeper into my flesh. I knew that by morning there would be bruises. Tears formed in my eyes. "Let go," I tried to say it loudly, but it got stuck in my throat and came out mangled. "Please," I begged.

Even if I wasn't drunk out of my mind, I knew I would never be able to fight off this guy. He was over a foot taller than me. He was sober. And that dark look in his eyes frightened me.

The guy pulled me into a side street off the main road. It was even quieter here. And thus it was even more dangerous for me. No one was here. No one could save me.

"Please," I begged again, realizing the absolute futility of my words, as tears cascaded down my cheeks.

The guy, the demon, my worst nightmare realized, whatever he was, he pulled me into an alley behind a dingy little club. He pushed me against the wall, the rough brick digging itself into my bare shoulders and back.

I struggled against him, but it was no use. He was stronger than I was.

He shoved me even harder against the brick as I sobbed harder.

"Shh," he said teasingly.

"Please," I said again, my throat raw from tears.

"Shut up, bitch. The begging was a turn on, but now it's just fucking pathetic."

I just cried harder and tried to yell. This didn't make him happy. He grabbed my face and pushed my head hard against the wall. My hair felt sticky as the blood gushed from the wound.

One of his hands grabbed the hem of my dress and began pulling it up, caressing my thigh with his filthy fingers as he did.

I just wanted to black it out. To be anywhere else. I wanted to be able to go back in time and wait on Alice and Jasper. This was all my fault.

I screamed again, my dress up to mid-thigh.

"Shut up, bitch." And he placed his other hand over my mouth.

And then I saw a light in my peripheral vision.

"What's going on, man?" Another male voice asked. The tears came even harder. He had an accomplice.

"Nothing. Mind your own business," the guy holding me sneered.

"If it's nothing, then why are you covering her mouth so she can't talk," the other man accused. Maybe they weren't working together.

"She likes it that way. We're into S&M," the guy explained.

I prayed to whatever God that was out there that the other guy wouldn't believe him.

"Let her tell me that."

"Fuck off," the guy holding me said.

Suddenly, a fist connected with the guy's jaw. He fell to the ground and I yelled as loudly as my weak little lungs would let me. I swear that they heard me in New York.

The guy picked himself on the ground ready for a fight. And I took off running, letting them duel it out. I was afraid that the other guy would want his reward, me, for battling the other guy.

But drunkenness and head injuries and blood loss and almost being raped left me disoriented. I didn't know which direction we had come from. And I wasn't familiar with the side streets, and especially not at night.

I ran—stumbled, whatever—down the street.

Then the whole world started fading to black.


	2. Chapter 2

RPOV

Alice was hysterical. This wasn't something new; she always had passionate emotions, but this time she was frightening. Her tiny frame was compressed into a ball inside the cab as we rode back to Bella's and my apartment.

Like Alice had predicted, Jasper didn't find Bella on the trek back or at our place. She had said it would be like that, but still she freaked out, burst into a whole new round of tears, which earned us strange looks from the other people at the club, when Jasper called her.

If Jasper didn't have the almost supernatural ability to calm her down, I don't know where we'd be.

He told her to get a cab and for all of us to come back to the apartment. He and Emmett would go out and look for her and Ali and I were to stay there in case she came back. As soon as she hung up with Jasper, she became hysterical again.

The cab driver didn't want to let us in. He thought that she was crazy and would go psycho and kill him. It wasn't until Emmett threatened his life that he let us in.

We drove past a street and saw an ambulance, its lights flashing.

Alice screeched at the driver to go toward the ambulance. He did as commanded, his dark eyes panicky.

As soon as he stopped, Alice jumped from the car and ran to the paramedics.

"Bella!" she yelled. Em and I got out of the car too, hopeful…at least in some small way. Even if she was hurt, we had found her.

Alice grabbed onto one of the paramedics and pulled him. He seemed surprised by the strength of such a small girl. "Is that a girl in there?" she asked, referring to the stretcher that we could barely see from where we were standing.

The man shook his head. "Nope. Some guy with a ruined face."

"What happened to him?" I asked. He shook his head again.

"All the call said was there was a fight and the address. He's pretty badly off."

"Have there been any calls about girls tonight?" Alice asked; her voice had an edge on it.

"A couple, yeah," he nodded as he spoke. "But I wasn't on either of those, so I don't really know what happened. You can check with the hospitals. If one of those girls was your friend, that's where she would be."

EPOV

I took one last drag off of my cigarette before putting it out and throwing it among the other cigarette butts. It was surprising how many there were considering that I was standing outside one of the best hospitals not only in Seattle, but also in the country. Didn't these people know better by now?

It had been the night from Hell. No, I take that back. Hell would have been more pleasant than my shitty night. Hell seemed like a cakewalk as opposed to what I had faced.

Victoria, that soul-sucking witch, finally agreed to let me play her club, but then she "forgot" to mention that the club wasn't even going to be open that night, so I showed up at 1, after my gig at a shitty little club with only five people there, all of whom could have cared less about my music. Victoria let me in and then she tried to seduce me. She had tried it before and it hadn't worked, so I wasn't sure why she would even bother trying again.

But she did.

And I politely informed her that we weren't going to be sleeping together. Then, when that didn't work, I forcefully told her that we weren't going to be sleeping together. The gold-digger still didn't get it, so I just walked out the back door.

And I walked into a situation that, in all honesty, terrified me.

I saw her there against the wall, tears flowing down her cheeks as he held his hand over her mouth. His other hand was inching its way up her thigh slowly, as if he was torturing her by prolonging the experience. I knew what I was supposed to do, I knew the right thing to do, but I couldn't form words for a few seconds

"What's going on, man?" I asked.

"Nothing. Mind your own fucking business." The guy turned to look at me, his eyes glowing with rage.

"If it's nothing, then why are you covering her mouth so she can't talk," I replied.

He laughed once. "She likes it that way. We're into S&M."

I didn't believe him for one second. She looked frightened. And her eyes pleaded something that I couldn't decipher, though she never looked directly at me.

"Let her tell me that."

"Fuck off."

I knew that he wasn't going to let her go unless I did something about it, so I did. I punched him as hard as I could across the jaw. He wasn't expecting it. And he definitely wasn't expecting the force behind it.

He dropped to the ground. And she screamed. Then she took off running.

He got back up, ready for the fight.

I ran on complete adrenaline and instinct. And after it was all said and done, I had a black eye, but he needed reconstructive surgery. Maybe I went a little overboard, but I didn't feel any remorse for what I did, because I knew that that fucker wouldn't feel bad for what he did to the girl.

When he finally went down and stayed down, I left the alley only to see her body lying still a few feet away.

I hadn't even noticed her injury or that her head was gushing blood profusely. But there in the middle of that deserted road was her body and a street stained crimson. I checked her pulse and her breathing—both were weak. And then I ran back into Victoria's shit-hole club and called 911.

I told the paramedics to take her to Northwest Hospital even though it was farther away, because I knew that Carlisle was working and that he would make sure that she got the best care available.

I didn't even know her name until one of the paramedics handed me her little purse. Like a creeper, I looked through it and found her driver's license. Isabella Swan. It fit somehow with the girl. Or maybe I was just tired and stressed out.

After she was stable, I went outside. Her phone had been going off every five minutes for an hour. I would have answered it, but that felt like an invasion of privacy, so I left it on the table in her room and went outside to take the edge off. After the last drag, I went back inside.

She was awake, even though I'm sure she would have rather been asleep. I stood in the doorway to her room for a minute just watching her as the nurse again took her vitals. As the nurse left, she looked up at me.

Cautiously, not sure if this was a smart move or not, I stepped further into the room.

"Someone named Alice keeps calling," I said quietly.

And then she started crying again.

I wanted to run from the room. This was too much. I had done more than everything reasonably expected from someone in my position. I stopped the guy from raping her. I kicked his ass. I got her in a private room at the best hospital. She was alive.

Tears were a different story. I didn't do tears.

But, for some stupid reason, Esme's voice in the back of my head kept telling me to go comfort her, while my brain kept arguing that she had almost been raped tonight. The last thing she wanted or needed was some strange male touching her again. But, no matter how much I liked to pretend that I was my own person and my parent's didn't hold influence over me, I did what Esme would have wanted.

Slowly, very slowly, so that I could watch her reaction, I took a step closer to her. And then another. I continued like this until I took the seat right next to her bed. Then, I took her left hand and placed it in my right, squeezing just once. A sign of comfort. I hoped that Esme was happy.

"It's okay. You're safe now," I whispered.


	3. Chapter 3

JPOV

None of us would freely admit it, but I knew—we were all terrified. This wasn't like Bella. She would never purposely not answer her phone, not even when she was wasted; she always answered. And she was super cautious. I think it was because her dad was the police chief or something in the little town that Alice, Rose, and Bella all grew up in.

We called every hospital in Seattle. Then we called every hospital in Washington. Then Emmett checked a few in Canada. None of them had admitted any Isabella, or Bella, Swan that night.

It was well past 4. None of us had slept at all. Alice was sitting on my lap and I was holding her as the never-ending flood of tears dripped silently down her cheeks.

This shouldn't have been how her birthday happened.

I had it all planned out. We were all going to go to dinner. Then we'd go to the club, have a few drinks, grind against my girl. After that, Alice and I would go back to our apartment and have sloppy, passionate, drunken sex. I would make her breakfast in the morning. And then propose to her.

I had kept the ring in my pocket all night, was too afraid to leave it at the apartment. I couldn't propose to her now, not with everything that had happened tonight. Everything was so fucked up right now and all we all cared about was making sure that Bella was okay.

I kissed the top of Alice's head. "Baby, you should try to sleep. I'll wake you up if I hear anything."

She shook her head. "No."

"You have to sleep some time." Alice pulled back from me so that she was staring at me, her beautiful blue eyes were lifeless.

"Jasper, no."

"Okay," I sighed. "Let me go make some coffee then."

While I was in the kitchen, trying to figure out where Bella and Rose kept the filters, while also nursing a hangover, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I jerked it out of my pocket and looked at the caller.

BELLA.

BPOV

"What are you going to tell her?" The guy asked as I picked up my phone. It had stopped ringing altogether about thirty minutes ago. The thought occurred to me that maybe they had finally given up all hope.

I could just imagine them all freaking out, sitting in my living room, telling stories about me as if I was dead. And now what was I supposed to do? What was I supposed to tell them? That I'd almost been raped? Because every single time I even thought about it, I wanted to puke. There was no way I could tell anyone.

And how was I going to explain this random stranger, the one who had punched the other guy so that I could get away? He was my hero. He had been amazing to me. I didn't understand why he hadn't left me yet or why he didn't even look remotely tired even though it was almost 4 AM. But I wasn't going to question it.

He looked at me with piercing green eyes that made my soul feel like it was on fire and he asked the question again. "What are you going to tell her?"

I shook my head before realizing that it was a bad idea. Hangover + head injury did not equal something pleasant. "I don't know. She'll freak out. Alice always freaks out. I don't want to deal with that much intense energy right now."

"She still needs to know that you are okay," he said logically. Damn the pretty boy and his logic.

"I'll call her boyfriend. He's really chill and he can relay the massage." I started to dial. "Wait. Can I make a phone call in here?"

The guy shrugged. I still hadn't learned his name, which was unfortunate. In any other state of mind, I probably would have tried to jump him already.

"Go ahead. I don't care," he replied nonchalantly. He was driving me crazy. It's like he didn't really have emotions, like he was a damn Vulcan or something--pardon the Star Trek reference.

I was about to reach for his flawless neck and strangle the life out of him. He didn't smile. He didn't frown. He showed no signs of either anger or joy. He was an enigma, a very beautiful and aggravating enigma.

Then my doctor walked in and I forgot all about death threats, because he was beautiful. Tall. Blonde hair. Blue eyes. This man should have been a model instead of a doctor, because, damn, he was fine.

"How is she doing?" The doc asked the guy, instead of me, who was sitting there completely conscious.

"For the most part, I think she's fine. She's lucid, can carry on a conversation. She's still in pain, but her blood-alcohol level was well-over the legal limit, so I can't judge whether or not it's the injury or the hangover," the guy said fluidly, as if it was perfectly normal to have conversations about the other person's health and well-being, while they sat there listening.

"What are you? A doctor?" I asked. The pretty boy sneered—a win, since I forced him to show emotion. The doctor smirked.

"No. I'm not a doctor." His voice was low, controlled. The doctor rolled his eyes and turned to me.

"How are you feeling, Isabella?"

"It's Bella," I corrected him. "Um, and I'm okay I guess, a little hungry maybe. And my head is throbbing. But I think I'm okay really."

He just nodded his head as I spoke as if I was telling him an amazing story and not my symptoms. "I can get you a prescription for some pain medicine for your head. And I can get the cafeteria to bring you up some food, but I would say that it looks like you should be able to leave in the morning without problems.

"Cafeteria food sucks," the guy next to me said.

Doc rolled his eyes in a paternal way. "What do you want me to do, Edward?" he asked. Edward? Did they know each other?

"If she's fine now, why not just get her the prescription and let her leave? I'll take her to get some food that wasn't freeze-dried."

"If I let her go, I'm trusting her in your care. Edward, if she starts feeling dizzy or gets weak—"

Edward interrupted here. "I know what shock looks like, Dad."

"Dad?" I said quietly, but they both whipped their heads around to look at me and suddenly I saw the resemblance. They had different color of hair—Doc: blonde, Edward: reddish-brown—and eyes—Doc: blue, Edward: green—but they had the same glorious cheekbones and jaw line. Two beautiful male specimens and I got to be in the same room as them.

The doctor smiled. "Yes, Bella. I'm sorry. I haven't been polite. I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen and this is my son Edward, whom you have already met."

"Kinda," I muttered. "He's the one who saved me in the alley."

Dr. Carlisle sighed. "Yes, Edward, we are going to have to have a talk on what constitutes saving someone and what constitutes needless violence."

"You weren't there, Carlisle," he said, calling his father by his first name. I thought I was the only one who did that. "It wasn't needless violence. Plus, it's not like he's dead. He deserves to be, but I didn't go that far."

"You destroyed his face, Edward. Don't talk about it so lightly," the doc reprimanded.

I gulped back the lump in my throat. He had destroyed the other guy's face? To protect me? I couldn't help it. My emotions were on overdrive. I started to cry again.

Edward groaned. "Look at what you did, Dad. I had her calmed down and you go and upset her again."

"I'll go get her prescription," Carlisle said as he turned to leave.

"Bella," Edward said softly. And though I knew it shouldn't have, my body reacted to him as he said my name. My started beating faster, which we were all able to hear on the stupid monitor that I was hooked up to. "It's okay. He's not going to hurt you. I promise."

I nodded, believing it, somehow trusting a guy who I didn't really know. All I knew was his name, Edward Cullen, but, somehow, that was enough.


	4. Chapter 4

EPOV

I stared at the girl, at Bella, from across the booth as she took another deep breath and slowly released it. She couldn't make herself press the button that dialed her friend's boyfriend. I didn't understand what all the fuss was about, but I could feel a migraine coming on. If she didn't call him in the next ten seconds, so help me, I was going to snap.

"Call him," I said, clearly agitated.

"I don't know what to say." The poor girl really did look upset, so I momentarily backed away from the issue and took another sip of my ice water. Then she did that sigh thing again and I flipped out.

"Call him or I will pry that phone from your hands and call your father," I threatened. Bella looked at me like we were playing poker. She must have realized that I was going all in and this was not a bluff.

"Fine," she said in a huff. I smiled slightly to myself because she looked cute all pissed off at me.

Bella pressed the button and put the phone to her ear.

"Hey. Calm down. Seriously, if I wanted someone to flip out on me, I would have called Alice," she said in a patronizing voice. "Yes, I'm fine."

There was a brief pause. "I…I…I was at the hospital. I hit my head and some guy called 911 for me, because I passed out on him."

Bella looked at me in a way I didn't understand. It was a plea, but I couldn't tell what for. To me it seemed like that was how she thought tonight should have gone, a better version of the truth. This alternate reality didn't involve a pathetic fucker that preys on drunken women or me destroying said fucker's face.

"I don't know why all of the hospitals said that I wasn't there, but I definitely was. I'm getting my prescription filled as we speak. And I'm eating banana pancakes at this little diner a few blocks from the hospital." Another long pause. She sighed into the phone. "Go to sleep. Tell Alice to go to sleep. I'll be home as soon as I'm done eating. Just, chill, Jasper."

My eyes narrowed as she said the name. Surely…No, couldn't be.

"Yeah. I know. I'm sorry. Love you too. See you soon." And then she snapped her phone shut.

She was quiet for a long time as we waited for our food. I didn't know what to say to this girl, how to react. I didn't know if we were friends or acquaintances or just two people who just happened to come into contact with this fucker and had their lives screwed with because of it.

The fucker—his name was James. I bribed a nurse to tell me at the hospital. My parents used to think I was a good kid, a little misguided or rebellious, but good. I wonder what they would think, knowing that I waited until I knew Bella was fine and in her private room before calling 911 for him. If she had been seriously hurt, gotten brain damage, or died, I already had it planned out that I wasn't going to call. There was so much evidence against me that I would have surely gone to jail, but if he had hurt her any worse than she was hurting now, I wouldn't have cared. He didn't deserve treatment, even though that Bella was mostly okay physically. I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was scarred now.

"I hate lying to him, but I don't think that I can tell him the truth," Bella said quietly.

I nodded, trying to look understanding, but feeling like a prick, because there was no way that I could understand what the hell she had been through.

Luckily the waitress brought our food, so I didn't have to feel that way for too long.

"Banana pancakes and milk," she said, putting Bella's food in front of her.

"Chocolate chip waffles, fried eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, biscuits and gravy, milk, and an orange juice." The waitress placed my plates in front of me and I started salivating. I hadn't eaten since around noon and I was starving.

I looked up and Bella was staring at me.

"What?" I asked.

"You are going to get fat if you eat all of that food." I laughed once.

"Don't worry about me. I have a fast metabolism."

"I hate you." She said it so simply, without any inflection whatsoever. I couldn't help but laugh. When I finally contained myself, Bella was looking at me.

"What now?" I asked warily.

"Nothing," she said shaking her head and shrugging. "You have a nice laugh."

"Thanks," I replied, before digging into my food.

I ate half of my waffles, my biscuits and gravy, and my bacon before she spoke again.

"Do you find this weird? Because I find this whole…thing weird."

I looked up at the girl. She was leaning towards me, her elbows on the table. Her banana pancakes looked untouched. And I was worried that she didn't have any food in her stomach yet.

"What do you mean?" I took a sip of my orange juice.

She motioned at the space between us. "I mean this. You and me, pretty much complete strangers, eating breakfast together all because of some…"

"Fucker," I offered. Bella didn't smile, even though that was my intent.

"Yeah," she said, looking at me for an answer.

"Yeah, it's weird." I shrugged. "But, life is weird, so I don't know. Maybe this is completely normal. Don't people go on blind dates? Isn't that the same basic premise? Two strangers eating a meal together because of one person that they happen to have in common. Is this really the way we build our romantic relationships? Our friendships with people? Just random events that force us together?"

That's when I realized that I had been going off on a little rant. I also realized that my spiel was the most I has probably said to the girl the entire night. She probably thought that I was insane and was going to run away screaming. And that would give Carlisle a whole new reason to be pissed at me.

"That's a really interesting way of looking at the world. How did you come upon this mindset?" she asked. If she didn't seem so genuinely interested, I would have thought that she was messing with me. Bella didn't seem like the kind of girl to play games though.

"I don't know. I've been thinking about the past couple of hours a lot, probably more than is healthy," I answered honestly.

"Me too," she said quietly, finally taking a bite of her food.

And I was so happy that she was getting sugar in her that I stopped talking and just let her eat. She finished them up, so I offered her some of the sausage I hadn't eaten yet, which she ate. Although I knew it had nothing to do with me, I was glad that I was able to take care of her, keep her alive. Maybe that was, in small part, what Carlisle felt. Then I got mad because I didn't know why I suddenly gave a fuck what Carlisle felt when he was being a pretentious, stuck-up doctor.

"Hey, are you okay?" Her soft voice tore me from my anger.

"Yep, peachy," I replied. "I need a cigarette," I muttered quietly to myself.

"You smoke?" She asked. I could tell that she was trying to keep the condescending tone out of her voice, but it was still there. I had picked up the ability to find it after spending two decades of my life with my mother.

"Yeah, and you drink," I replied. Bella looked extremely confused.

"I don't know what that has to do with anything."

I smirked. I had had this conversation too many times to count. "You're worried about my lungs, right? Cancer. Well, I'm worried about your liver."

"Alcohol doesn't make me stink," she replied.

"Depends on what you drink, but it often does make the drinker smell." She scoffed and brushed her hair behind her ear, pissed again. I leaned my elbows on the table so that I could be just a little closer to her.

"What about heart attack, stroke, emphysema? Those are all side effects of smoking tobacco. You're okay with those?"

"In the same way that you are okay with the increased risk of breast and pancreatic cancer. Also, the damaged brain cells. Don't forget those." I smiled. I loved to argue, especially when my opponent looked so beautiful when angry. It almost made me sad that this would be the last time I ever saw her.

"You can lose brain cells by sneezing," she exclaimed.

I smiled wide. "Well, I don't think you should be doing that either. I mean, for the sake of your health."

Bella threw her head back and looked up at the ceiling. I'm sure that she was praying to a god that I would spontaneously combust or something. She looked frustrated and I suddenly felt bad that I was being an ass to her after everything she had been through. She didn't deserve that.

"I only smoke herbal cigarettes," I said. She looked back at me.

"I don't know what that means. Like pot?" I laughed once.

"No." I pulled my pack out of my jacket pocket. "They look just like regular cigarettes, but they don't contain tobacco or nicotine or like 98% of the other crap they put in normal cigarettes. I still run the risk of getting lung cancer from them, but most of the other side effects don't exist."

"Why do you smoke at all?"

I sighed, feeling like this conversation was familiar. I'm sure that I had it with someone else before. Or maybe I just felt comfortable with this girl; I didn't know.

"I don't know. I smoked regular cigarettes in high school like I was supposed to, was a rebel by being just like everyone else. Then, I got to college and it just seemed ridiculous to do it just because all my friends in high school smoked, so I used these to wean myself off of them." I sighed. "And now I use these to help me relax, even though I know there really isn't anything in there than helps me relax. It's more about the mindset I put myself in, while I do it. And because I look so cool when I smoke," I put that last comment in at the end for her benefit, hoping to get her to roll her eyes.

It worked like a charm.

"Whatever," she shrugged. "I don't have any right to judge you. I don't know your life. I don't know anything about you. But you are way too pretty to die of lung cancer, so I hope that doesn't happen."

"Thanks," I said smiling. It felt weird to smile so much in one night. "I hope you don't permanently damage your liver."

She giggled lightly. I feel like a girl for admitting this, but my heart missed a beat. It was the most beautiful sound I had heard in a while. I wanted to take her to a recording studio just so that I could have her laugh forever…you know, in a way that doesn't sound all creepy and stalker-ish.

We finished up our meal relatively quiet. I still wasn't sure how I was supposed to act around her. And I was sure that she thought I was giving her whiplash from my mood swings. But I just didn't know who I was supposed to be. It was easier in other situations to put on whatever mask was required of me. Here, with her, I became sure that I had no idea who I was. And that was a terrifying development.

We finished, and I paid for the bill. She tried to pay for her part, but I wouldn't allow it. She didn't seem thrilled by this, but she went along with it.

Then we walked around the corner to the 24-hour pharmacy.

"Swan, Bella. Please," I said to the pharmacist.

"Hey Edward," she said quietly to me.

"Yeah?" I turned to look at her. She was biting her bottom lip. God, she looked so damn tempting like that.

"Alice's boyfriend said that they tried calling the hospitals, but all of them said that they didn't have someone with my name. But, I mean, we were clearly at the hospital."

"I didn't check you in under your name," I replied, hoping she would leave it at that.

"What did you check me in as?" Shit.

"Bella Cullen." Her eyes almost bugged out of her head.

"Why?"

"Because the Cullen name means a lot to some people. I knew you would get taken care of if I said that you were my wife." Her eyes did that whole "bugging out" thing again. Was she really that opposed to even pretending to be married to me?

She just nodded and got her prescription.

We went outside and I hailed her a cab. This way she could get home and I wouldn't be the creeper who now knew where she lived. She didn't need to think that another creeper was after her.

A cab stopped at the curb.

She looked at me in the early morning light. And I was sad. This would be the last time I ever saw this girl. And she was one of the people I had met in a while who made me smile.

"Thank you," she said, biting her bottom lip again. "For everything. You've been amazing tonight. Good night, Edward."

Bella stood up on her tiptoes and kissed me on the cheek.

"Good morning, Bella."


	5. Chapter 5

BPOV

Two weeks.

That's how long it had been since that night, since Alice's birthday, since I had seen Edward Cullen.

Alice had pounced on me the second I entered the apartment a little after 5 AM that morning. None of them had slept at all. The heavy bags under their eyes and grumpiness told me that much. My best friend wrapped her thin little arms around me so tightly that I was afraid that I would puke my banana pancakes all over her. Or maybe I was just nervous.

I was a horrible liar. I always had been, even about trivial things. I admitted to being the one who accidently spilled the grape juice all over Alice's mom's carpet, so that Ali wouldn't get in trouble, but she saw through it. And I couldn't even tell Rose that her haircut looked okay after she got bubble gum stuck in it in third grade.

I sucked at lying, but I couldn't tell them the truth. None of them could handle what had almost happened to me, what would have happened to me if not for a random stranger.

The truth still made me puke two weeks later.

I woke up nearly every night from nightmares. Then I would cry so hard. And then I'd go throw up. Rosalie was worried. She brought it up on numerous occasions. She didn't know what was going on—she suspected bulimia—but she knew that I wasn't okay. After the first few days, realizing that my nightly routine had changed, she slept in my bed with me.

It helped, to not feel alone, to have someone who would take care of me when I very obviously couldn't take care of myself, but I knew I was being selfish. Rose was being amazing. The least that she deserved was the truth from me. But it was the one thing that I couldn't give her.

Two weeks.

On the Friday night that marked two weeks since the night we all went out to celebrate her birthday, Alice showed up at the apartment with multiple bags. This was a bad sign. I sensed torture in my very near future.

"Bella, I don't know what has been up with you lately, but you're coming out with me tonight to this ridiculously amazing benefit that Jasper's mother is hosting for the homeless."

"No," I said firmly. Alice put her hands on her hips.

"You're coming. Don't argue. It's just one night and then you can go back to being sullen and mysterious like you have been, but I need you tonight, because Jasper is telling his mother that we are engaged. So suck it up Swan. I'm nervous."

EPOV

There was a knock on the door of my apartment. That in itself was odd. There were only about three people who knew where I lived, including myself and the landlord. And there was no way that the other person would come of his own free will.

But I opened the door, and there he stood.

"What do you want?" I asked already annoyed.

"I hate your shit-hole apartment," he said as he pushed past me and took a step in.

I knew he hated my apartment. It wasn't in a good part of the city. It smelled like cabbage. I didn't have a maid for it. There was always paper all over the floor. There wasn't even an elevator. And all his other whiny ass comments.

"So why are you here then?"

He had taken a seat on the couch; he had taken my seat on the couch. I stared at him waiting for an answer. He groaned.

"Our mothers."

"No," I replied.

"I didn't even ask anything," he responded. I swiped some of my sheet music onto the floor and sat down beside him.

"No, but you were going to. Some benefit for retired ballet dancers. Or save the sea otters. Or one-armed reformed pigeon bandits. I don't know and I don't care, J, but I'm not going. You may not remember, but I left that pristine, pompous world for a reason."

Jasper snorted. "Yes, we all know that Tanya was a little gold-digging tramp, who almost had the Cullen ring on her finger."

"No, she didn't," I replied with a shudder. Bad memories.

"Yes, she did, Edward."

Whatever. I knew I wasn't going to win that argument, so I steered the topic in a new direction.

"Speaking of rings, how did things go with Ali B?

Jasper laughed. "I don't know why you insist on calling her that."

"It's because she calls me Eddie C. And you know how much I hate to be called Eddie."

"Yes, my most annoying of cousins, I do remember. And I did ask Alice to marry me. She said yes. I'm telling Mother tonight."

I smirked. "One, I'm your only cousin—something about another one ruining my mom's figure—and two, that's almost incentive enough to go. Your mom is going to have a holy freak attack when she finds out that you are marrying a poor girl from Nowhere, Washington."

"She's from Forks. And she's not poor. She's not Whitlock Oil rich, but she's not a gold-digger or anything."

I laughed. "Keep practicing that speech. Your mom is going to tear it apart."

"Please come tonight," he pleaded. Jasper looked pathetic.

"Fine," I groaned. "Tell my mom that I'll come tonight as long as she doesn't complain about my appearance or give me advice on my future."

"Will do, but I wouldn't trust her to keep that promise," he said.

"Yeah, I know."

BPOV

I looked nice. I did. But I didn't look anything like the supermodels and society girls that mulled around the benefit, looking down on me because I didn't have a trust fund or go on winter vacation to the Alps or whatever it was that snotty, rich people did with their lives. Mock people like me, I suppose, is what they did with their lives.

Alice and Jasper ditched me. Okay, ditched is a little strong. They went to go talk to his mother and left me to mingle. I don't mingle well.

I looked across the room and gasped at who I saw. No way. I wasn't sure of the proper etiquette in a situation such as this, but I was all alone and I recognized him, so I walked as confidently as I could to where he stood. A beautiful woman stood beside him.

"Hello," I said, my voice shaking nervously. I didn't know why.

"Bella," he exclaimed with an easy smile. "How is my favorite daughter-in-law doing?"

I blushed at his comment. "You do know, Dr. Cullen, that your son and I aren't really married."

"Of course, dear, I was just joking. And, please, call me Carlisle. Would you like to meet your mother-in-law?"

I finally looked at the woman next to him. She was even more beautiful up close than she had seemed from across the room. She had the same reddish-brown hair and green eyes as Edward. Standing next to her made me miss him even more.

"Hello, I'm Esme Cullen. I've heard, briefly, about your encounter with my son. I do hope that he behaved himself around you."

There was something about this woman that made me feel extremely inadequate. "Yes, Mrs. Cullen, your son was a perfect gentleman the entire night."

"Have you talked to him recently?" she asked, curiously. I shook my head slowly.

"Not at all."

"Hmm," she said. "I thought that maybe your appearance here meant that he was actually coming tonight. Why are you here, dear?"

I didn't know how she was able to do that—sound so polite and insulting at the same time.

"I am here with Alice Brandon and Jasper Whitlock," I replied quietly.

"You know Jasper," she said warmly. "He is my nephew. I adore that young man. And Alice must be the girl he is always going on about. His mother and I are both thrilled that he is happy."

From across the room, a voice exclaimed, "This must be a joke, Jasper."

Esme smiled condescendingly at me. "Excuse me, dear."

Then she huffed across the room towards the sound of the outburst. I guessed that Jasper told his mom. I knew that she was a society lady, but I didn't think it possible for anyone to dislike Alice. She was sweet and polite and perfect for Jasper.

"How is your head, Bella?" Carlisle asked.

I looked up at the god-like man and tried to form a coherent sentence. "My head hasn't hurt since a few days after the incident. I didn't even finish off all of my pain medicine."

"I'm glad to hear that you are doing well." Carlisle suddenly smiled wide. I followed his gaze across the room.

He looked completely out of place, even wearing a gray suit and a black tie. He had on a pair of black Chucks. And a gray beanie covered most of his copper-colored hair. Edward looked even more beautiful than I remembered him.

"I can't believe he showed. And wearing that. His mother is going to flip," Carlisle muttered, mostly to himself.

Edward appeared lost. He stood all alone against a wall, his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes scanned the crowd for someone or something. I wasn't sure, because my eyes couldn't look away from him.

So many emotions ran through me.

I was happy to see him. I was worried about his reaction when he saw me; I was sure that he would think that I was some kind of stalker. Mostly, though, I felt safe. That was how I felt around him. No matter what happened, I would always associate Edward with safety and compassion and banana pancakes.

His wandering eyes saw his father. I could see the change on his face. And then a few seconds later, his eyes met mine.

Suddenly, he was walking toward me, closer and closer until Edward was standing right in front of me.

"Do you want something to drink?" he asked me. I nodded and followed him. I didn't know where we were going, didn't even really care.

He went up to the bar. "I want a water and the lady wants something with lots of alcohol in it."

I shook my head. "Water is fine," I informed the bartender. Edward smirked at me and I had to look at the floor and count to twenty, so that I wouldn't jump him.

"You aren't going to damage your liver like that," he joked. It was weird. The Edward I had met didn't really joke. A few times he had tried, but they seemed awkward and forced.

"Screw my liver. I'd rather hurt my lungs. I think I'm going to start smoking, but only herbal cigarettes." I prayed to on high that he would understand my attempt at humor.

He smiled, and I took that to be a good sign. "Touché."

"Thank you," I said triumphantly.

We got our waters and Edward led me towards a deserted corner of the crowded room. A bunch of the society girls gave me pissy looks, but I just rolled my eyes. Were they really going to be that catty?

"So, what are you doing at this wonderful society event that benefits…something? I don't even know what it is for," he questioned.

"The homeless," I informed him. He made an annoyed face.

"Really?" I nodded and he just shook his head. "That's wonderful. I can only begin to wonder where my aunt got the idea."

"Your aunt? No, wait, I forgot. You are Jasper's cousin, right? Your moms are sisters?"

"Yeah. And you are the Bella that he is always talking about. I thought you might be after your phone call to him," he said. I tried to think back to that night. Did I ever use Jasper's name? I couldn't remember. Obviously I did or Edward wouldn't remember.

"Yeah, he's why I'm here. Well, Alice really. She's nervous, and I suppose she had the right to be because his mom was not happy at all."

He snorted. "She wouldn't be. Jasper found a great girl that loves him for who he is and not how much money he has. And Jasper loves her more than he loves his mom. That must piss her off."

"Edward!"

I watched as his whole face dropped.

"Hide me," he whispered.

I bit my lip. "It's too late. You've been spotted."

Esme Cullen stomped over to our little corner like a general capturing that last holdout. Her smile and diamonds were a ruse. She had come prepared to fight. But I didn't know what she was fighting for.

"Edward Anthony, what are you wearing?" Her voice was very even, very controlled.

"Clothes," he replied, looking at me the entire time.

"I see that, dear, and we are all grateful for that fact. Now, you've made your point. You are a rebel. Please take off that ridiculous hat."

Edward smirked as he pulled off his beanie. His hair looked like sex. It was messy and sticking up. And I just wanted to run my fingers through it as he sucked on my neck, leaving marks with his perfect lips. That was the least dirty of all my thoughts as I stared at his amazing hair.

Esme clenched her hands into fists and I feared for the wine glass. At any moment, it was going to snap in half. Slowly, she regained her composure.

"Tanya is looking for you, Dear," she said finally. And then she turned and stalked away.

When I finally turned back to look at Edward, his face was tilted toward the ceiling. "Oh, God, please keep her away from me. I will do whatever you ask of me."

"Your mom or Tanya?" I asked.

"Both. But mostly Tanya. I can deal with my mother." I nodded.

"Okay. I'll help you avoid her. We need a codeword for if you see her."

He smiled for half a second. "How about 'heartless bitch that is only after my inheritance?'"

"That's a little bit long for a codeword. I was thinking, like, 'peanut butter' or something."

Edward started laughing. It was the laugh that I remembered from the diner. It was a good laugh, made my stomach do flips like Nadia Comaneci.

"Okay. Peanut butter it is."

And, just like that, we were together again and not just in the physical—oh, we're in the same room—sense, but in the real—our lives are connected again—sense. I didn't even know this kid. He was my age, 23, give or take a few years in either direction. He said he had gone to college. I didn't even know if he graduated. I didn't know if he had a job or friends or why his parents were so condescending toward him. I didn't know who this Tanya chick was that he was avoiding or if he even had a good reason for avoiding her.

I didn't know, but, honestly, I didn't care.

"What does she look like?" I asked.

"Um…dyed blonde hair, spray on tan, fake boobs," he rattled off the list.

"Edward," I joked," that could be 90% of the women in this room." He laughed, so my joke worked.

"I know. Do you understand now why I'm so paranoid? She could just jump out at any moment without warning." He sounded genuinely worried that this Tanya was some kind of drive-by conversation-starter.

"Will you be okay alone long enough for me to go to the restroom?" He looked reluctant, but nodded. "Stay here. I'll be right back."

Edward backed into his corner in a defensive position, his head whipping from left to right as he scanned the crowds.

I found the restrooms as quickly as possible, but there was, of course, a line. It took five minutes to get a stall. And when I was finally free and clear, washed my hands in the sink, and checking my makeup in the mirror, a thin girl came up next to me. Tall. Blonde hair. Unnaturally tanned skin. And breasts so perfect that they had to be man-made.

"Are you here with Edward Cullen?" she asked with a smile, but it was more like one of those Esme smiles.

"No, actually, I'm not. He and I are just friends," I answered.

The blonde smirked. "Oh, I've been so rude. I'm Tanya Denali. Edward is my boyfriend." She offered her right hand.

"I'm Bella Swan. And if Edward is your boyfriend, then why did you ask if I was here with him? Surely his own girlfriend would know that information." Tanya's blue eyes darkened immensely. Several other girls in the room pretended to be fixing their makeup for longer than necessary, so that they could see how this played out.

"We're actually on a break, but Edward and I are meant for each other. Everyone here knows that."

I couldn't help it. I snorted, very un-ladylike. "Does Edward know that?"

Tanya flipped her hair out of her eyes and looked down on me like the Amazon she was. "Of course, Edward knows that."

"Are we talking about the same Edward Cullen? Copper hair? Piercing green eyes? Panty-dropping smirk?" I asked. She nodded. "Then why did he just call you a heartless bitch that was only after his inheritance?"

I smiled at her. And then I turned to leave the room.

"He's only with you to piss off his parents. They hate trailer trash."

I turned back and gave her a look of pity. "Honey, I'm not trailer trash and he and I aren't together, but tell yourself whatever you need to sleep at night. You need to realize that he doesn't want you back and just move on."


	6. Chapter 6

EPOV

Bella had abandoned me, so I had to actually take care of myself like a grown man of twenty-four. In this crowd, though, I felt like a four-year-old who had just stolen a cookie and was awaiting the scolding. They were vipers, piranhas, vampires—all of them. But especially my mother. She was the ringleader of the pathetic circus. They acted like they cared; they put on benefit after benefit, throwing money at any and every cause to help heal their consciences. But they didn't give a rat's ass, not really.

Tonight was about the homeless, supposedly. These were the people who had multiple vacation homes on every continent. And they cared about the homeless? If they really cared they should give up one of their mansions. They didn't care. I knew they didn't. Aunt Delilah only came up with this benefit as a way to condescend to me.

"I hate this stupid night," a delicate voice said. "I knew she was a bitch, but I didn't think that she would do something like this." The girl sounded like she was on the verge of tears. I hated tears. I couldn't handle tears, so I wrapped my arm around her, hoping that it would help her compose herself.

"Of course she is a bitch; she's Delilah Whitlock. What did she do to you, Ali B?" She smiled slightly, but it seemed forced, fake.

"Not to me. It's what she did to Jasper, what she's doing to Jasper." I sighed. I hated when girls did this, refused to say what was going on even though they really wanted to tell you. They just wanted you to want to know the information.

"What's she doing, Ali?"

"She told him to choose—me or his father's company," she said anger radiating through her voice.

"And when he, of course, chose you, it pissed her off more, right?" There was no way in hell that Jasper would do anything to lose Alice. They had met at UW a week after Jasper's dad died. She was great to him, helped him to heal. And she let him be himself, not the person that his mother wanted him to be. It didn't surprise me when he told me that he was going to propose to her; I had always figured that it was just a matter of time. He loved her in a way that I didn't see from my parents or my relatives or friends. It was honest-to-goodness, can't live without you love. And I was genuinely jealous of what they had.

"Right," she said. "So she dragged him off to talk privately." Alice took a deep breath. "I don't…want to cause problems between Jasper and his family. But I'm also not going to let that woman push us around."

"Ali, I hate to tell you this, but you are going to cause problems between Jasper and his mom, and my mom, and his grandparents. That's just who those people are. But you and me, we don't have any problems. You're good for him. He doesn't act like such a dick when you are around."

Alice smiled brightly, a real smile, finally. "That's so sweet, Eddie C."

I frowned. "If you call me 'Eddie,' we are going to have problems." She just laughed. "And don't worry about Jasper not getting the company. It was his in the will and Delilah can't do anything about that."

"Thanks," she said.

Two girls walked close by us. I had seen this many times before. They either wanted to overhear what we were saying or they wanted us to overhear what they were saying. Apparently, it was the latter.

One of the girls, Kate, turned to the other, Irina, and said, "Can you believe that Bella Swan made Tanya cry? She's seriously a pathetic mess right now."

Alice gasped and turned toward me. "That's my best friend. Have you seen her? Brown hair? Brown eyes? A bit on the shy side?"

"I know Bella," I told her. "And I haven't seen her since she went to the restroom and left me in the corner. I thought I'd have to fight off Tanya myself, but it seems that she was still protecting me."

"How in the hell do you know Bella?" Alice asked curiously.

I recalled the story that Bella had told. "A couple of weeks ago, I was walking back from a gig and I saw this girl trip and hit a brick wall. I rushed over to help her and she passed out on me. I called 911 and got her to a hospital. Then I took her to get pancakes."

I went over my words in my mind. That was the story, wasn't it? I hadn't slipped and said something that I wasn't supposed to.

Alice hugged me tightly. "Thank you for taking care of her." She let go of me slowly. "She hasn't been the same since that night."

I frowned. What did she mean? "I don't understand."

She looked around, scanning the crowd. "She'd kill me if she knew I was telling someone this. I'm really worried about her." My chest tightened. What was going on? "She has nightmares and she can't sleep through the night. She cries at random times. And she just seems sad. I had to drag Bella here tonight. She barely leaves the apartment."

Shit.

I didn't figure that she would be all rainbows and sunshine, but I had hoped that it wouldn't be this bad.

"Maybe she just misses me," I tried to joke. Alice glared.

"I'm being serious here."

"So am I. I'm nice and witty and ruggedly handsome. Girls like me." I wanted to tell her what was up. Bella needed help, but she obviously wasn't getting it.

"Did something happen, Edward? Please, tell me if it did," she pleaded. My mind was screaming to tell her.

"Alice, nothing happened. And, even if it did, I wouldn't be able to tell you. It wouldn't be my story to tell."

Then I saw her walking toward me, a victorious smile on her face. This Bella was nothing like the one in Alice's stories. This one was confident and amazing and sexy. I liked this Bella.

I smirked at her. "Peanut butter?" I asked.

She gasped. "You already know. That's not fair. I wanted to tell you all about it."

"What the heck does peanut butter have to do with anything?" Alice asked.

I was about to answer, but Bella spoke before I could. "It's a codeword. And I just told her off. It was great."

"You made her cry," I said. Bella's eyes got wide.

"Really?" She sounded repentant. I wanted none of that. This girl was my hero. No one had ever stood up for me before.

"Don't feel bad. She deserved it," I said.

Bella stuck out her bottom lip. "But I didn't mean to. I don't even know the girl. I can't believe I made her cry. She might be a really sweet girl."

"She's not," I replied, folding my arms over my chest. Alice was watching our little tennis match curiously.

"But I don't know that."

I groaned. "Do you want me to tell you all that Tanya has done? How she conspired to ruin my life? How she has no respect for me as a person? How I almost married that whore?"

Bella put her hands on her hips. "Yes, I would like that very much."

"Then, come on, I'm starving." I took a step to leave. Neither of the girls made an effort to move. "Are you girls coming or not?"

They exchanged a glance in the way that girls do. Their secret looks that communicated so much. I couldn't help but wonder what they were saying.

Alice cleared her throat. "I'm actually going to go back to the apartment and wait on Jasper. Tonight has been really stressful and I'm worn out."

I shrugged. "Whatever. Come on, Bella."

We walked around the block to a little Italian place. I got us a table away from the crowds, because I really didn't want anyone overhearing my life story and leaking it to the tabloids. I didn't know why people were so fascinated with the lives of the rich, but that was one of the things that I had worked hard to avoid.

I ordered some pasta and Bella got the same. The waitress kept buzzing around, but after ignoring her for three minutes, she finally got the hint. Bella smiled at me when she finally left.

"Go ahead," she said.

I took a deep breath and slowly released it, suddenly feeling the need to take the edge off.

"I don't know how to tell you the story of Tanya without telling you my entire life story. And it's really boring. Are you sure you don't want to just drop it and trust me when I say that she is evil."

"Edward, just tell me." She bit her bottom lip and I was done for. As if I could deny her anything she wanted when she looked at me like that.

I took another deep breath.

"I don't know. I feel like I'm really two or three different people. And I'm not sure which one is the real me."

She smiled slightly at me, telling me to continue, in her own way.

"You might have noticed that my parents have money. Carlisle comes from a long line of surgeons. Seriously, every son starting with my great-great grandfather has been a doctor. Remember that for later in the story. And Esme, her grandparents were in the hotel business. When my parents got married, it was a huge deal, two wealthy families merging. It was almost as big as when Delilah Masen married Thomas Whitlock. That is the world I was born into, a world of privilege and ceremony and prestige. And I was the poster child for perfection in society circles. I was a brat."

I laughed once. I hadn't even realized that Bella and I were leaning toward each other until the waitress suddenly appeared, placing our food in front of us. She tried again to get my attention, but I ignored her. She left in a huff.

"Where was I?" I asked.

"You were being a brat," Bella replied with a smile. I felt my mouth form a smile, without my brain telling it to. What kind of spell did she have over me?

"Yes, I was. High school went as expected—private prep school, experimenting with drugs and alcohol, and dating every society girl I could get my hands on. That sounded worse than I intended it." I smiled sheepishly. "I'd known Tanya forever, since we were little kids in Latin Club together."

She held up her hands here. "Latin Club?" I grimaced.

"Please don't ask. I've managed to block most of it from memory. I don't want to dredge it back up."

"Okay," she said. She took a bite of pasta. I had completely forgotten that mine was there. I took a few bites before continuing on with the story.

"We'd been friends for a while, but we didn't start dating until freshman year at university. I graduated in three years and went to medical school. That's what was expected for me. I was a Cullen, after all. I made it a year. And I just hated it so much. Tanya was great at the time; she understood why I needed a break. I couldn't face my parents, so I took off."

"Where did you go?" she asked. I took another bite of my food.

"India. I lived in a slum and worked with a charity there to use my little bit of medical training to help the people. It was eye opening for me. I lived so selfishly, threw money around like leaves on the wind. And these people who had nothing were happier than I was and I couldn't understand it. After six months, my dad found me and dragged me back. But, after something like that, I couldn't just pretend everything was swell and move back into my dad's mansion. So I told them I was moving out.

"They were fine when I moved into a little apartment and started dating Tanya again. But then I emptied my trust fund, giving half the money to a local homeless shelter and distributing the rest to various charities. They thought cutting me off would teach me the error of my ways. So, I moved out of my apartment and started sleeping on the streets. Whatever money I earned went to a food bank. I don't know why, looking back, that I thought Tanya was okay with all of this, was okay with me choosing to be poor and destitute."

"She wasn't," she said plainly. I shook my head.

"No, she wasn't." I rolled my eyes. "She kept dropping these hints about our future. Talking about our future house and our wedding. And I went along with it for a while, but I knew that I didn't love her, that marrying her would be stupid and hurtful to us both. But I was too much of a coward to just break it off. Until one day she tells me that she is pregnant. And I'm flipping out because I was twenty-two, not ready for a kid. I didn't have a job. And I thought we were being careful."

I let out a huge breath that I didn't realize that I'd been holding.

"Apparently, she had been lying to me and told me that she was on the pill, but she quit. She and my mom made this agreement. If she could get me to come back, to start behaving like the good, doctor son she wanted, then Tanya would get written into her will, so that even if we got divorced she would be ridiculously well off. Tanya thought that if she got knocked up, then I would have to marry her to avoid a scandal…I mean, as if I hadn't caused enough scandals. I was going to marry her, go back to that life, and raise our child, whatever. Then Kate, Tanya's best friend, told me that she was lying about being pregnant, that she was going to fake a miscarriage. What kind of fucked up person fakes a miscarriage? Or lies about being pregnant to get someone to marry them? And all so that they'll end up with a few more dollars to spend at the end of the day."

I stopped talking, thinking how this was all too soon. Bella was going to freak out like everyone else. People didn't understand how I could just give up everything I had. I had a lot, I'd been given a lot, but there were people out there who didn't have anything, so I did what I thought was right. And it cost me everything I had.

"I see two people in that story. Where's the third Edward? What happens after that?" Bella asked curiously.

I smiled quickly, before trying to hide it.

"I decided that there had to be some kind of middle ground. I do want a family, a wife and kids, all of that. I couldn't support them if I didn't work. But I didn't have to be a doctor either. So, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I wanted. And music just seemed like the only thing that made sense; it was the only thing that I had a passion for doing. That's what I've been doing for the past year and a half, trying to find a way to be happy and selfless at the same time." I started feeling self-conscious. I had bared my soul, shared my entire life with a girl that I didn't even really know. "Does that sound stupid?"

"Not at all. It's…amazing and risky and kind of exhilarating, your story, I mean. My life is so boring and simple compared to yours."

I wiped the dribble of sauce from my mouth. "Tell me about it," I challenged.


	7. Chapter 7

BPOV

"Does that sound stupid?" he asked.

"Not at all," I replied. "It's…amazing and risky and kind of exhilarating, your story, I mean. My life is so boring and simple compared to yours."

"Tell me about it," he challenged.

I didn't want to. My life was boring. His had generations of familial angst interwoven with a gold-digging ex-girlfriend. And at the center of it all was this guy. I barely knew the boy, but here I was with his entire life story playing like a movie through my mind. He, Edward, was amazing.

"My life can't even begin to compare with yours," I said.

He took a sip of his water. "We're not comparing lives. I just…I told you pretty much everything about me. And I feel like I don't even know you at all."

"My life will put you to sleep," I responded, feeling my resolve weakening. He smiled and I knew that my resolved just got fucked by those amazing lips of his.

"Please."

"Fine," I said with a groan. "I grew up in Forks, Washington. It's this tiny, little town where everyone waves to one another and knows each other's business. My dad was the police chief there. And my mom left us when I was really young. She just couldn't take it, I guess." Even as I spoke the words, I felt like I was completely naked and not in a good way. Edward was the only one who knew my big secret and here I was talking about my mother with him. I never talked about my mom. It was easier to just bury the hurt.

"Alice grew up in Forks too," Edward said when my pause lasted more than a few seconds.

"Yeah, Alice and Rose—I don't know if you've met Rose—were my best friends, are my best friends. We survived eighteen years there and then we all moved to Seattle to go to UW for school. I graduated last summer. And that's it" I ended the story. It was boring, ridiculously so.

Edward drummed his hands on the table. "No, no, there's got to be more." He looked at me eagerly.

"I'm sorry, but there's just not. I told you my life was boring."

"Bella," he said slowly, leaning on his elbows across the table. "I gave you evil parents and a psycho ex-girlfriend. There has to be something you can give me."

I gulped, looking at my plate of pasta. "You already know the worst thing that has ever happened to me, Edward. It's the one thing that no one else knows about and you want more?" My voice was so quiet that I wasn't sure if he even heard me.

"What's your favorite color?" he suddenly asked. It was so random that I burst out laughing.

"What?"

He was smiling slightly and it was adorable. "If you aren't going to tell me about yourself, then I'm going to keep asking until I learn something interesting."

I weighed in my mind how badly this could be. Pretty bad, if he asked the right questions. "Okay, but I get to ask questions too. And whatever question you ask, you also have to answer."

He nodded. "Okay, but we probably shouldn't play this game in here. It might get racy." He lifted up his eyebrows and licked his bottom lip and I started hyperventilating. Surely he knew what he was doing to me. This boy was scandalous.

He threw money down on the table, not even waiting for the check. I opened my mouth to volunteer to pay for mine, but he gave me a look. I closed my mouth and stood up. Edward followed closely behind me as I made my way toward the door.

The Seattle night was a little chilly. I could feel the wind as it traced patterns across my bare skin. A strong gust blew past and I shivered.

"Cold?" Edward asked. I nodded. "Here," he said as he handed me his beanie. I laughed and put in on.

"I look good in it. Better than you," I joked. He ran his hand through his unruly hair and my dirty fantasies resurfaced in my mind.

"That's probably true." He unbuttoned his gray suit jacket and handed it to me. I put it on, but the arm sleeves were too big and I had to keep pushing them back.

"Thank you," I said.

"You're welcome," he replied. "Can I have my beanie back?" I shook my head.

"The first question was favorite color, right?" I didn't wait for an answer. "I don't know. I really like green. Everything back home is green. How about you?"

"Blue. Brown. Gray. I don't know. I don't really have a favorite. Your question?"

I took Edward's beanie off my head and handed it back to him. Then I smoothed my hair in order to buy me a few seconds. I hadn't thought of a question. "When is your birthday?"

"June 20th," he replied absently. "Yours?"

"Wait," I said. "June 20th was a few days ago." He nodded. "Happy birthday."

"Thanks." Edward led me down the street to a park bench. We sat down.

"Mine is September 13th."

"Last relationship?" he asked. I bit my tongue.

"His name was Jacob. It didn't work." I tried to be as simplistic as possible in my explanation. I prayed that he would leave it at that. I knew he wouldn't though.

"Obviously, or you would still be in a relationship with him. What happened?"

I shook my head. "That wasn't part of the question." He groaned and rolled his eyes. "Yours?"

"Tanya was my last serious relationship." Edward fiddled with his beanie in his hands.

"My question. Um. If you could have anything in the world, for yourself, what would it be?"

"Like materialistic thing?" I pushed the sleeves of his suit jacket back. When I looked up, his face was close to mine. I had to fight against my dirtier urges to jump him. We had a decent friendship going on; trying to fornicate with him would not be helpful.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"A Steinway piano. My parents have one in their house. I learned to play on a Baby Grand." He lowered his head for a second. "I think that I miss that piano more than my parents. I'm a great son."

We were silent for a few minutes. I didn't know what to say to him, how to comfort him. His situation was beyond my experience or intellectual level.

"What was yours?" he finally asked.

"Your beanie," I joked. I was just trying to relieve some of the tension in the situation. He smiled and handed it back to me.

"If you want it that badly, you can have it."

"No, Edward. I was joking." I tried to give it back to him, but he wouldn't take it. He put his hands in the air, so that I couldn't give it back, but I kept trying. He stood up and put his arms above his head. I was too short to get anywhere near his arms. But I wasn't too short to see his white dress shirt slide up to reveal his stomach. I'm not very experienced sexually, but, good god, I wanted to lick that boy from head to toe just from seeing half an inch of skin. "Fine. I'll keep it."

"Good," he smirked, sitting back down. "Something to remember me by."

I rolled my eyes. "As if I could ever forget you."

"My question," he said happily. "Why did your last relationship not work out?"

I sighed. "I don't know. We were…great together. It was so natural to be with him, comfortable. But my entire life has been so comfortable, predictable, and orderly. There was no passion, no intensity, no fire. I don't know. That sounds stupid. I had a great guy who loved me and I'm complaining about a lack of spark."

"It's not stupid. If it wasn't right, it wasn't right. Don't worry about it. You'll find the right person eventually."

I sighed. "How did your last relationship end, Edward?" He laughed at me.

"Well, my ex-girlfriend was an evil bitch and I have a rule about evil bitches, so she had to go." He said it as if it was nothing and it made me smile. "Your question."

I looked at my watch. "It's getting late. Will you walk me home?" I didn't really want to leave him, but I knew that the later I stayed out with him, the more likely I was to do something stupid.

He nodded and stood up. "Was that your question? Because I want to hear your answer. Will _you_ walk _me_ home?"

I stood up. I buttoned Edward's jacket up around me. "No, that was not my question." I could smell him on his jacket and next to me. It was intoxicating. More reasons why I shouldn't be around him; my inhibitions were considerably lowered. "Who is your hero?"

He pursed his lips for a second and I had to look away. We started walking and he seemed to know where he was going. I didn't question it. "Kurt Cobain. Probably or maybe Dave Grohl. Or my dad. Whatever."

I didn't feel like pushing it. He'd been unbelievably honest with me. And I was the one who kept hiding the truth. He didn't deserve that. None of them deserved that.

"Mine's Alice. She's so brave, so sure of herself. I'm not like that at all."

We were both quiet again.

"How have you been since that night?" he asked suddenly.

"Edward," I said quietly. "I'm fine."

He stopped walking, so I did too. Edward turned to look at me. Those green eyes looked at me with such sadness that I thought I was going to fall apart. Why did I keep lying? He obviously knew that I wasn't fine or he wouldn't have asked.

"Bella, that's bullshit. Alice told me about the nightmares. She said that she has no idea what's going on with you. You talk about Alice being brave; she's terrified for you, because you never told her and you're trying to go through this by yourself. But you can't."

I hated the tears that fell, every single one of them. My throat felt like there was a lump in it so big that I couldn't even breathe properly. I felt so weak next to him. Edward had been through so much shit, but he was okay. He didn't bawl anytime anyone brought up a random event. I wanted to be strong, to be able to get over it, to not think about it every time I was alone or smelled alcohol or walked by a building with bricks. I mean, shit, do you know how many brick buildings there are in the world?

"Please, don't cry," Edward said quietly. "That wasn't my aim. I just want you to be okay. And if you aren't going to tell Alice about it, then tell me."

I nodded.

"Don't just nod to appease me, Bella. Give me your phone," he commanded.

I handed it to him and then wiped the futile tears from my eyes. Edward handed it back a few seconds later. His name and number were there on the screen.

"Now you don't have an excuse. And don't worry about calling too late or too early. I'm usually up until eight or nine in the morning. Any time you have a nightmare, I want you to call me. If I don't answer, leave a message. I will call you back. Do you understand?" I nodded again, still not trusting my voice. He sighed. "I sound like a tyrant. But I…I want you to be okay."

"Me too," I whispered finally.

"It's your question."

I laughed, but it was shaky. He started walking again. So I followed him, feeling like a stray puppy.

"What is your opinion on Canadians?" I asked.

He laughed. It was beautiful. I loved his laugh already. God, I was screwed.

"I personally don't have any problems with Canadians. But now I'm interested to hear your opinion on Canadians." His voice was so different than how it had been a few seconds before, how it had been pretty much all night. He sounded playful. And I really, really wanted to play with him.

"I like Canadians…in theory."

Edward turned to look at me, his forehead wrinkled in confusion. "What does that mean?"

"I don't know. I've never met anyone from Canada. But I bet that I would like them." He put his hand over his face and started laughing.

"You live in Washington. How have you never met anyone from Canada?" I shrugged. "One of these days, I'm kidnapping you and taking you to Canada. And you are going to make friends with the natives."

I giggled. "Okay."

We were quiet for a few minutes, just walking in silence and enjoying the night. We were close to the apartment and I knew I would have to say goodbye to him. I didn't want to leave him ever. He made me feel safe and okay and normal and happy. I didn't want him to leave, but I didn't have the right to ask for anything more from him. Our entire friendship was essentially based on him doing something for me.

I sighed when we reached the apartment building. "This is me."

I stopped and looked at him. Bad idea. He was distractingly beautiful, so I looked away. I unbuttoned his gray suit jacket and handed it back to him, staring at his tie instead of his face.

"I don't know what to say," I admitted. "Good night? Thanks for the lovely evening? I'll call you in a few hours sobbing? Can't wait to befriend some Canadians?"

Edward smirked. "I still can't believe that you've never met a Canadian."

I held up my hands. One of them held his beanie. "It's not like I've been avoiding them all my life."

"Good night, Bella. I pray that you don't have any nightmares, but, if you do, I want you to call me." I nodded.

"Good night, Edward."


	8. Chapter 8

EPOV

I love to perform. I love the rush of strumming my guitar and singing on a stage as the lights bounce off of me. I love how vulnerable I am on stage. My heart and soul are in the audience's fickle hands. Some nights they love me; some nights they hate me. And some nights they are indifferent toward my existence—those are the nights that hurt the worst.

I love to perform, but that night, after dropping Bella off at her apartment, I didn't want to set foot on stage.

I was terrified that she would call me on stage and I wouldn't be able to pick up. She would think I was a liar or didn't really care. Of course, she wouldn't leave a message. And she would never call again. Even worse, was the fear that she wouldn't call at all, that she wouldn't trust me with what she was going through, and that she would try to handle it all on her own. Because that's the kind of girl that Bella was. She was independent and self-sufficient. I could tell that she didn't like to have to depend on anyone else. It seemed like too many people had let her down. I didn't want to be another one.

It had been a screwed up night, but, so far, it had been amazing too.

I saw Bella again, the girl that had me writing songs about big brown eyes and tantalizing lips. And I got to see her again. She looked even more tempting than I remembered her. But then Alice tells me that she is still completely fucked up because of that night and no one knows why.

And I cared. And I let her in. I told her everything about me, things that Jasper didn't even know. And I learned about her. And every single, little, miniscule detail was permanently etched into my mind—how good she looked in my suit jacket, how she would bite her bottom lip without thinking about it, and how she didn't want to talk about her mom, but she did with me, even if it was just briefly. She wasn't judgmental. She didn't think I was insane for blowing my trust fund. She stood up for me against Tanya, and she even made that bitch cry.

I really liked this girl.

I really liked Bella. God. That was going to get me in so much trouble.

I left my phone in my guitar case and prayed that she wouldn't call or that if she did she would leave a message.

It wasn't my best set ever by any means. I was so distracted. And I messed up the words on more than one of my songs. But when it came to the last song, my new favorite, I closed my eyes and pretended that she was there, that I was playing just for her.

And then I ran off the stage and pulled my phone from the guitar case like it was oxygen and I was suffocating.

It rang in my hand. I didn't even look at the number, just answered. "Hello?"

The line was quiet for a few seconds. I resisted the urge to speak again, because I heard her soft breathing. She would speak when she was ready. I knew that, so I waited.

"Hi," she whispered.

"Hi," I said, feeling ridiculous and ecstatic and terrified all at the same time.

"You said to call, so I'm calling," Bella said quietly.

I wanted nothing more than to run to her, but I knew that was impossible.

"You had a nightmare," I knew it was true, but I needed her to confirm it, to make it real in my mind.

"Yeah." Her voice cracked.

I packed up all of my shit as quickly as I could. And I got the hell out of that club. I must have forgotten to grab my common sense, the thing that said that I barely knew her, that this didn't have to be my responsibility if I didn't want it to be. I pulled out the pack of cigarettes. If I was going to have this conversation, I needed to take the edge off. I pulled one out, but didn't light it.

"Will you tell me about it if I ask?" I could just imagine her shaking her head. She sighed.

"No. I don't want to talk about it. Let's talk about something else," Bella suggested. She needed to talk about it, to stop hiding. But I couldn't force her. I didn't want to force her, so I obliged.

"We can talk about anything you want."

"Okay. How has your night been?" she asked. I couldn't stop the smile; I wanted to, but I couldn't.

"It has been pretty amazing, a few rough patches, but nothing unsolvable."

"Yeah?" she asked sounding curious. "In what way."

Shit. It was too soon to tell her that I liked her, that I wrote a song about her, that her lips were my weakness, and that her eyes were weapons.

I sighed. "I went to this pathetic little benefit to support my cousin, best friend, whatever, and his mom is a total psycho bitch to him and upsets his fiancée, who is also a good friend of mine."

"This sounds like a good story so far," she interjected, her voice a little stronger than it had been before.

"It gets better; just wait. I see this great girl that I know and she totally makes my evil ex-girlfriend cry, so, of course, she becomes my hero."

She interrupted me again. "I thought Kurt Cobain was your hero."

"Well, yeah, she became one of my heroes." I smiled, hoping that she would be able to hear it. Just because I wasn't ready to tell her that she made me happy, didn't mean that I didn't want her to know that she did. "And because she is my hero, I decided to tell her a bunch of my secrets. And she doesn't freak out or anything. It was great. I finally said good night to her, which wasn't great, but had to be done. And I went to my show, just got out of it actually."

"How did it go?" she asked, her voice perfectly normal, a little tired maybe.

"To be honest, not that great. I wasn't really focused." I looked at the still unlit cigarette in my hand. I shrugged and put it back in the pack. The need for it was manageable now.

"I'm sorry. Did I have anything to do with your lack of focus?"

God, Bella. I couldn't tell her. She gave me the opportunity, but now wasn't the right time to take it.

"A little bit, yeah. I was worried about you. I'm okay now, though."

"Me too," she said. Then I heard her yawn.

"Go to sleep, Bella. You can call me again if you have another nightmare."

"Okay. Good night, Edward."

"Sweet dreams."

* * *

I felt like a girl. I stared at my very limited wardrobe for another minute before becoming so frustrated that everything seemed the blend together. They were just fucking clothes. And it was just a fucking dinner. And I shouldn't be freaking out because of one girl. I was Edward fucking Cullen. Girls didn't make me nervous.

But this one did.

I lay back on my bed and closed my eyes. When did I become so pathetic? There was a time when I could get a blowjob just by smiling at a girl. Now I was reduced to staring at the eight shirts I owned again and again, trying to figure out which one Bella would like more. Fucking pathetic.

There was a knock on the apartment door.

"It's unlocked," I yelled.

It was Jasper. He was supposed to pick me up on his way back from work and take me to this shindig of his. It was his and Alice's engagement party, well, one of them. This one was for people that they actually liked. And, somehow, I made the cut.

"Are you ready, man?" he asked. "Alice is already going crazy, calling every five min—"

He paused, because he had finally made it to my bedroom and saw how pathetic I looked.

"Shit, Edward. Get dressed." I closed my eyes, because I couldn't admit this while looking at him.

"I can't decide what to wear."

I felt the bed shift as he sat down next to me.

"Why the fuck does it matter what you wear? It's just going to be me and Alice, Rosalie and Emmett, and Bella." There was a pause. "No, Cullen."

I opened my eyes and sat up. He looked territorial. I knew he loved Alice. He would never cheat on her, so why was he being so…douchey about the entire situation.

"Why not?" I asked.

Jasper stood up. He towered over me like a condescending parent. I felt the reprimand instantly. "Because I know you. And I like Bella. You aren't going to do that to her."

"Fuck, Jasper. I'm not sixteen anymore."

"Good, because you were a whore at sixteen. But I don't care. You aren't going to mess with Bella. She's been through a lot of shit recently that none of us really understand."

"I do," I told him. He looked at me in disbelief. "No, I'm being serious. Every night for the last week, she's called me at two, three AM after she has her nightmares. We usually talk for an hour or so. Sometimes we talk multiple times in a night."

"Really?" Jasper sat back down. "She seemed like she was doing better, but none of us could figure out why."

She's doing better. It made me so happy, that one little sentence. I didn't know what this girl was turning me into—someone who smiled, someone who let other people in, someone who couldn't decide what shirt to wear—but I kind of liked him.

"Jasper, you're the one who is always telling me to go out and find someone else, that not every girl will betray me like Tanya. And I found someone I'm willing to try with. I'm not going to hurt her." I was more worried about her hurting me.

"Fine," Jasper groaned. "But I kill your pretty boy ass if you make her cry one tear. Do you understand?"

I nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Now, just fucking get dressed. Alice will kill me if I'm not home soon."

I rolled my eyes. "Whipped."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Jasper walked over to my closet. He grabbed a shirt and a tie and threw them to me. "Take them with you. You can put them on in the car."

"Okay," I said, looking at his selections and spraying cologne on me.

"If someone stole my rims, I'm going to be pissed."

BPOV

I was so nervous. It was ridiculous. We were just friends. The only time I called him was after nightmares. He thought of me as another one of his charity cases, I was sure. He didn't like me, not in the way I liked him. God, there was something about Edward Cullen that made me trust him implicitly.

I was so nervous that I didn't even complain when Alice put me in this little floozy dress or tragically high heels. I didn't comment when she spent two hours on my hair and another hour on my makeup. That's probably why she knew that something was up. I was usually squirming after the first half hour, fifteen minutes, sometimes five.

"Why are you being so nice? You haven't complained once yet?" She held two tubes of lip gloss in her hand, carefully weighing the pros and cons of each. She decided on red.

"It's your engagement party and I'm your maid of honor. It's my duty to sit down, shut up, and agree with the bride." I smiled at her.

Alice smiled. "You are such a little liar. But I love you for it." I sat there as she swiped the lip gloss on me. "Now, tell me for real why you are so mellow."

I stood up, carefully stepping toward Alice and Jasper's bed. I sat down. "I'm not really mellow."

She sighed and put lip gloss on herself. "Bella, I will find out, so stop going in circles and just tell me what is up with you. You've seemed happier this past week ever since your little dinner with Edw—"

Alice dropped the lip gloss. She turned to look at me, her jaw hanging loose. All of a sudden, she smiled and squealed.

"No," she gasped. "How did I not see this sooner?"

"We're just friends, Alice. Please don't make a big deal out of this." I knew that it was a lofty request, but I hoped that she could keep it.

"But you like him?" she asked.

"What's not to like?" I replied.

Groaning, I lay back on her bed. "You'll ruin your hair," she said, so I sat back up.

**********

It was so awkward. Alice made sure that Edward sat next to me. Oh, God, he looked so sexy in just a plain black button-up shirt—the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows—and a green tie that was the same color as his eyes. And she kept commenting and trying to be a fucking matchmaker in the middle of her engagement party. And I was blushing redder than a freaking strawberry field. There wasn't any way, in my mind, that Edward could even be remotely interested in me, especially after Alice purposely asked him if he was dating anyone. Jasper started choking and coughing—I thought Alice told him about me and my insane crush.

I couldn't even bare to look at Edward. And that says a lot considering that he is beautiful and I usually can't pry my eyes away from him: his perfect lips, his gorgeous eyes, his long, pianist's fingers. He had been so good to me, so sweet and caring. And my best friend was trying to ruin the minute chance with him that I had.

Finally Alice got too absorbed in unwrapping her presents--and they were hers--to pay us any heed. Edward leaned close to me and I felt his warm breath on my neck. I felt the need to go to confessional and be absolved of all the very naughty things I was thinking of doing to him in my head, and I wasn't even Catholic.

"Alice seemed very interested in me tonight. I hope Jasper doesn't get jealous," he joked.

I laughed and shifted on the couch away from him before I was too tempted by my fantasies and tried to act one out. "Alice wouldn't cheat on Jasper. I mean, without his permission. Maybe she wants to recruit you for a threesome."

If that was true, then Alice would be a very lucky girl.

He snorted. "How about we make it a foursome? You should join us. But we don't have to invite Jasper." I giggled. This was an interesting conversation, but I knew that it was going to get us in trouble soon. Still, we didn't stop.

"You and two girls. I'm sure you would love that," I said sarcastically, not happy with the idea of sharing.

Edward reached out and brushed one of my unruly curls behind my ear. "I'd like it better, if it was just me and you."

He looked down immediately after saying that, staring at his shoes. I sat in silence, trying to figure out if I had heard him correctly. And Alice just kept unwrapping presents.

"I'm sorry," he said. "That was inappropriate."

He had said it. Edward had said that he wanted me in bed, just me. He had to be insane. We had eaten dinner with two of the most beautiful girls in Seattle and he wanted _me_? Little Bella Swan from Forks, Washington? The girl who had only had sex with two guys her entire life? God, he must have not gotten laid in a long time if he wanted me.

"Hey, can we go somewhere and talk?" he asked after a few minutes of very awkward silence. My heart sped up like it had in the hospital, except, this time, I was the only one who could hear it. I nodded.

We got up and walked out of the apartment. The hallways for the complex where we all lived were painted this beige color. Supposedly, the color was soothing. I thought it was really boring, but at least it was accented with the same lackluster color for the carpet. It was like swimming in oatmeal. We walked up the hall and then got on the elevator and went to the lobby. I didn't know where we were going, but I followed him, trusting his judgment.

I hoped that we wouldn't have to go far, because the heels Alice had put me in, made walking nearly impossible. Edward noticed and locked our arms in an effort to keep me upright. The gesture made me smile uncontrollably, because he never did anything like that. Our touching was limited to him holding my hand while I was in a hospital bed. Since that, nothing. We didn't say one word until he opened the door for a little coffee shop and we sat down at a table.

"I don't really know what I'm doing, Bella, so can you just not interrupt me until I'm done. Because if I don't just let this all out now, I'm going to combust or say more stupid things to you." There was so much intensity in his voice. I looked straight into his eyes and they were blazing. His words scared me, but there was something about them that excited me.

I nodded, urging him to go on.

He was quiet for a minute, looking down at the table. And I could see that he was struggling for words, which seemed so unlike Edward. He kept folding and unfolding his hands on the table, fidgeting. I put one on hands on top of his for a few seconds to reassure him and he looked up at me.

Edward let out a sigh. "I've never done anything quite like this. I didn't realize how nerve-wracking it would be."

"Hey, none of that," I said. "It's just me that you're talking to."

He nodded, never breaking eye contact with me. "But, that's exactly it." He smiled for half a second nervously. "I like you, Bella. Do you want to go get dinner sometime?"

My entire brain fogged over. What? What was it that he just said? Did he…Did Edward just say that he liked me? That he wanted to go to dinner with me? Edward Cullen? The green-eyed mortal who looked like a sex-god? That Edward Cullen? Because that just did not make a lick of sense.

I coughed. "I'm sorry. I think I must have been daydreaming or something. Can you say that again?"

Edward's forehead wrinkled. His face got that anxious look again. And I was worried he might throw up. "I like you," he said quietly.

Oh, god. It was real.

And then I realized that I was smiling so wide that my cheeks started to hurt. But I couldn't stop. Edward Cullen said that he liked me and he was all nervous and adorable about it too. I put my hand over my mouth and started to giggle like a little middle school girl.

All the while, he was just watching me curiously from the other side of the table. And I wanted to say something, but my mouth was too busy smiling to form words. So he just had to deal with the silence until I was able to control myself like a grown woman.

"I…I also heard something about a meal…together," I finally managed to say.

His face broke out into the most adorable grin. He looked so triumphant. Edward nodded. "Yeah, whenever you want."

We both laughed awkwardly. "Okay, yeah. I'd love to."


	9. Chapter 9

BPOV

"Alice," I said desperately the second she answered the phone.

She laughed, knowing what I wanted without me having to say anything more. Alice was just psychic like that. Or maybe she just knew me too well. "I'll be there in one second, Bella." She giggled again before hanging up.

I sat down on the floor of my bedroom, my knees to my chest. I kept running my fingers through the plush carpet in an effort to calm myself. When that didn't work, I tried to control my breathing—deep, cleansing breaths. Didn't work either.

It was only about a minute and half later that Alice entered the apartment that I shared with Rose, but it felt like an eternity. Normally, I would have just asked Rosalie's opinion, but she was out with Emmett. They had become pretty serious in the past few weeks. And she made a point to tell me that she wouldn't be home tonight, so if I wanted to bring Edward back…

Little did she know, Edward wouldn't even touch me. There was no way he would go for coming back to the apartment. We just weren't to that point yet. Well, he wasn't to that point yet. I was all for getting me some Edward Cullen.

"Where are you two crazy kids going on your first date?" Alice asked, already looking through my closet. She should know what was in there; she had purchased 95% of it.

Edward and I had decided that waiting to have this date wouldn't be a good idea. We were both so anxious for this thing that more than a few days seemed like torture. So, we decided to have it the next day, which was now today. He was supposed to be here in a few minutes. And I still wasn't dressed, though, in my defense, I had been in the process of getting ready all day.

"He has an early show tonight, so we are going to grab a quick dinner and then I'm going to go watch him perform. Then, probably coffee after that." I told her of the plans that we had decided on.

Alice looked over her shoulder at me. "Have you ever seen him play?" I shook my head. "Oh. He's amazing. You'll love it."

I sighed. "I can't believe that you've known him for like a year and you never introduced me to him."

She spun around and looked at me, still sitting pathetically on the floor. "I didn't think that he was your type. He's all artsy and moody and a pain in the ass. But he's also generous and sweet and talented. Yeah, he is your type. I'm sorry." She smiled wide at me.

"I really like him," I said quietly to myself. Ali sat down beside me and put her head on my shoulder, the way I always did to her.

"Um, so Jasper told me that you've been calling Edward after you have nightmares," she said quietly. I could tell that she was trying really hard not to upset me, but it didn't. "I wish that you could tell me what is going on with you, but, since you can't, I'm glad you are telling Edward. He's a good guy. And I can tell that he really cares about you."

Then she hopped back up.

"I think that you should be distracting him while he is on stage," she said, grabbing a midnight blue dress. It fell just above my knees.

"I don't want to distract him," I replied.

"Okay," Alice said with an evil smile. "Maybe distract is the wrong word. You should be tempting him while he is on stage. He should want to finish playing so much, so that he can grab you and ravish you."

"Alice, this isn't one of your romance novels. Edward and I haven't even kissed…or hugged…or held hands. Do you think that he's even attracted to me?"

I stood up and started pacing. I walked back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. He wasn't attracted to me. That made sense. That totally explained why he refused physical contact with me.

"He hasn't kissed you yet?" Alice gasped. "What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know," I replied, panicky. "Maybe it's not him. Maybe there is something wrong with me." That had to be it. There was something wrong with me, something that Edward didn't like.

My best friend put her hands on her hips. "No," she exclaimed. "There is nothing wrong with you. You are totally kissable."

"Thanks," I said sullenly.

There was a knock on the apartment door. "I'll get it. You put on the dress. You'll look amazing and he'll have to kiss you."

Alice skipped out of my room, shutting my bedroom door behind her. I heard as she opened the apartment door. And then she squealed loudly.

"Aww. He brought flowers, Bella. That's adorable. I have to tell Jasper."

"Don't even try it, Mary Alice Brandon," I heard him say, his voice low and dangerous.

"He looks nice too, Bella. Hurry up and get out here."

I slipped the dress on, but couldn't get the zipper. I huffed and put the flats on. Alice had put out heels, but Alice needed to learn that you can't always get what you want.

"Ali, I need help," I yelled.

She was in the room in nanoseconds, zipping up the dress, and pushing me toward Edward.

She was, of course, right. He looked amazing. It was a simple look—jeans and a button-up shirt—but he wore it so well. And he handed me flowers—orange lilies and pink roses. It was so beautiful.

"I didn't want to get you something ordinary or typical. I hope you like them," he said quietly, almost bashful.

"I love them. Let me put them in water and then we can go," I replied.

Alice just stood there watching us, analyzing. I felt like we were on display at a zoo or something. Like the two giant panda bears from China that everyone was hoping would mate. I was a panda bear.

I quickly put the flowers in a vase and sat them on our kitchen table. My entire body was shaking, nervous. And I couldn't figure out why. It was Edward, the one person who I trusted with nearly every one of my secrets. And then I realized that that was exactly why. He knew my secrets. That was scary.

"Okay, let's go," I tried to sound enthusiastic.

EPOV

I just kept looking at her, you know, just to make sure that she was really there. Because I couldn't believe it. This girl, this beautiful, amazing, sexy girl, was on a date with me. And then I had to keep looking at me to make sure that it was really me.

We were quiet and awkward with one another and I couldn't think of a way to make it better. I was terrified that I was going to say the wrong thing and she would run out on me. And I said lots of stupid things.

"Do you want to play our game?" I finally worked up the courage to ask.

She looked up at me and smiled. "Yeah. You first."

I smiled back. God, I really was pathetic. I had never been this nervous with a girl, not even when I got my first kiss with Katie Smith when I was four.

"Favorite album of all time?" I asked. She started shaking her head. "Why not?"

She brushed some of her hair behind her ear and leaned toward me for the first time the entire night. "Because this is an impossible question. I can't pick one."

"Just pick one of your favorites," I suggested.

She bit her bottom lip. "The Beatles 'The White Album'.'"

"Nice," I replied. That was actually a really impressive choice. I was planning on going to kill myself if she chose crappy music. Okay, not exactly. I planned on educating her.

She smirked. "What would you choose?"

I groaned. "Probably some Dylan. Yeah, 'Highway 61 Revisited.' Definitely."

Bella grimaced. "I don't really like the sound of Bob Dylan's voice."

I swear that I sat there staring at her, my jaw hanging loose, for several minutes. Eventually she got tired of it and rolled her eyes. Then she put her hand under my chin and closed my mouth for me. My skin felt like it was on fire where she touched it and I fought against my desire to grab her and kiss her like a soldier going to war.

"Oh, get over it, Cullen," she said with a smile. "It's my question."

I took a deep breath, trying to regain my composure. "Go ahead."

"Deepest fear?" She looked directly in my eyes as she said it.

"Wow, that's pretty deep for a first date conversation," I joked. She shrugged.

"I already know so much about you. Is telling me your deepest fear really so difficult?"

I took a deep breath, looking down at the food that I had barely touched. "That I'll end up like my parents."

"Me too," she replied quietly. "In what way do you mean?"

I ran my fingers through my constantly messy hair. "They just…it's not like they are happy or even in love with one another. Their marriage was more about making a strong alliance and building up wealth. And I was more an obligation than a choice. They were supposed to have an heir to pass their money onto. That's really all I was there for, to carry on the name. I guess…" I paused and took a deep breath. I had said all of that without one. "I want to be happy and I want to be in love with the person I marry. It sounds so simple. But…sometimes it's not."

I leaned back in my chair to just breathe. I didn't know where that all came from. It wasn't something I dwelled on, my parents and their life and the way I was raised. I tried my best to just ignore it and be my own person. But I was constantly being reminded that the events of my life did actually affect who I was.

"I don't want to be like either of my parents." She shook her head and looked down at the table. "My mom was unhappy, so she cheated on my dad…with, like, half the town. And then she took off instead of deal with the consequences. And my dad was a mess for pretty much my entire childhood. I practically raised myself. He's okay now, I guess, but he loved her so much that he overlooked all the warning signs that it was going to end badly."

We both sat there quiet for a long time, looking at the table, looking at each other, looking around the room. I'd never felt so close, so connected to anyone before. She knew me—not superficially or as the little, rich boy with a mask—but as the vulnerable, pathetic struggling musician. And I knew her, behind all of the layers of independence and confidence was a girl struggling with hurt and disappointment.

We were so alike. And so different. And maybe just what the other one needed.

BPOV

I was so nervous and I wasn't even the one on stage.

He looked at me, sitting at a little table by myself, staring at him. And he started to strum his guitar. Edward completely ignored the rest of the crowd—and there was a decent-sized crowd—that was here to watch him. He was the only act of the night. That meant that Edward had a fan base. I looked briefly at the other people in the audience. A large number of them were female. Great.

And then I looked back at him. He was still looking at me. I heard his breath in the microphone and then he started to sing. It was amazing. I didn't figure that Edward would suck as a musician, but I just hadn't expected him to be so talented. It would have been easy to write it off as expensive music teachers and Steinway pianos, but I could tell that this was something that came naturally for him.

I smiled through his entire set. And he never took his eyes off of me. More than a couple of people followed his gaze and stared at me. The females sneered, but it didn't matter, because he was singing. And though there were other people there, I knew that it was all for me.

Edward finished up another song and the audience cheered. "Thanks," he said smoothly into the microphone. He seemed so confident on stage. "This is my last song. It's called 'Bella.' I hope that you like it." And then he winked at me.

I leaned forward, my elbows on the table. I had to remind myself to keep breathing as he started playing. Before he even started singing, I already loved it. But then I heard his sexy voice and my heart melted.

"It must be a dream; it can't be real.

I barely know you, but I can't even feel

All these raindrops and worries that soak me through.

Every day all I hope for is you.

To kiss your smile, to look in your eyes.

We both sing the truth, and we speak the lies

To hide the hurt, to hide the pain,

To find some way to keep us sane.

Bella, while you sit at home,

I sing this song for you alone.

So, beautiful girl, I'll sing another line.

From this day on, I call you mine."

EPOV

I sat down at the table with Bella, sitting my guitar case on the floor. I was curious of her reaction, but, at the same time, I didn't want to know. Tonight I had sung for her alone. It was nerve-wracking, worse than asking her out on a date by far. For that, she could have only rejected me. If she hated my music…

"That was amazing," she said, her entire face lit up with a smile. I couldn't control when my smile broke out.

"I had hoped you would like it," I said nervously.

God, she made me feel so vulnerable all the time. It wasn't natural. I wanted some of that Edward Cullen swagger back, the kind where I had to fight to keep girls from going after me. I hated this anxious shit. It was unbecoming.

"I'm yours?" she asked.

I laughed nervously. Shit. Shit, damn, fuck. Be a grown man, Edward. "I want you to be mine."

She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. Something was up. "Then, I have a question for you."

"You know that you can ask me anything and I'll answer honestly."

"Yeah," she sighed. "That's what I'm afraid of."

Bella folded and unfolded her hands, like I had at that damn coffee shop before asking her out. If it was anything like that, then whatever she was about to ask was important. I looked at her curiously. What could have her so freaked out?

"You say you like me—" I interrupted her.

"I do like you." She pursed her lips together.

"Okay, then, do you not find me attractive?" My jaw dropped. Was she joking? Surely she knew how amazing she was.

"Bella, you are beautiful. Don't ever doubt that."

"Then why do you refuse to touch me? No kiss. No hug. Fuck, Edward, you won't even hold my hand. What's that about? The only reason I can think of is that there must be something really wrong with me if you won't even do that much."

Shit. She thought there was something wrong with her. She was the most sexy woman I had ever met and she didn't even have to try.

"God, Bella, I really fucked this up, didn't I?" She looked really worried. I sighed. "No, don't. It's definitely not you."

I pulled my hands from my pockets and sat them on the table.

"I've told you about some of my past relationships, but I haven't been completely honest with you about everything in my past. Basically, I've been with a lot of women." A lot was putting it nicely. "Jasper calls me a whore, and that's probably fair. I wasn't exactly choosey."

I ran one of my hands through my hair. She was just staring at me, trying to figure out where I was going with this. I had no idea what she was thinking and it scared me.

"I'm telling you this, and it's not to brag, but to be completely open with you. I'm good at sex. God, I know so many ways to make you sigh and moan. I could throw you on this table and fuck you in front of all of these people and you wouldn't even care. All you would be able to think of is the pleasure and my name. That sounds really conceited, but whatever. Sex is easy for me, Bella." I took one of my hands and reached across the table for hers, intertwining our fingers. And I let out a sigh of relief that she hadn't swatted my hand away. "This," I said, lifting our hands up, "this is really hard for me."

I could feel myself shaking, freaking out, worried that she was going to run away and never come back.

She was quiet for a really long time. She just stared at our hands. And I was doing everything in my power to stay there, to not run away, because I felt so naked, so open, holding her hand. It wasn't something that I had done ever, not even with Tanya and I was going to marry her.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Bella asked quietly.

"When was the appropriate time to tell you about my whoring and the fact that I've never held a girl's hand before?" I responded. Her head shot up. And she looked at me with those big, brown eyes in disbelief.

"Never?" I shook my head.

"Never."

She smiled wide. With the hand that wasn't attached to mine, Bella brushed some of my messy hair out of my eyes. She was so close to me. I wanted to kiss her so badly. But I really didn't want to screw this up. I wanted to do things correctly. This wasn't about sex. Bella meant more to me than that.

I brought her hand closer to me and kissed her knuckles. She squirmed. I looked up at her curiously.

"It tickled."

"Bella," I said with a sigh. "I really like you. I think that you are beautiful beyond words. And. more than anything, I don't want to fuck this up with you, because it honestly may be the best thing that has ever happened to me. So, from now on, you hold the reins. You can control how fast or slow we go. It's up to you."


	10. Chapter 10

God, he was asking for trouble.

I wonder if he would have told me that the pace of our relationship was in my hands if he knew just how badly I wanted him in my hands. Or if he knew that I wanted him to throw me on the table and prove just how good he is at sex. He had no idea.

So I did what any woman, regardless of age, would do after Edward Cullen said that he wanted to make her sigh and moan. I invited him back to the apartment. God, he was asking for trouble.

He lifted his eyebrows curiously.

I thought that he was going to refuse. I thought that he was just testing me when he said that I was in control. But I still invited him back.

I wasn't going to have sex with him, but that was pretty much the only line I drew.

At the apartment, I made us some coffee. And we sat together on the couch, less awkward than we had been the entire night. Since Edward gave up control, he seemed much more at ease around me. He was back to his charming self.

I turned to him, one leg underneath my leg and held my hands out, palms up. He placed his on top of mine, palms down. I jerked mine out from his, trying to slap his, but he was too quick. Edward laughed when I started to pout. I returned mine to their position.

I tried again, but he was quick. Edward was really fast. And my dirty mind was filled with thoughts of Edward's hands and just how quick he might be.

He must have noticed the distracted look on my face, because I felt his hands form manacles around my wrists.

"What? I'm your prisoner now?" I asked. He smirked the ridiculous smirk that dripped sex.

He shook his head. "Nope. I'm yours."

I lifted my wrists to his eye-level. "Then why am I shackled?" I bit my bottom lip.

Edward took a deep breath. "Maybe I wanted you to do it to me," he said, his voice low. God, I loved how sexy he sounded.

He let go of me on finger at a time. I watched mesmerized. He removed his hands completely and held them out for me. I tried to capture his wrists, but my hands were too small.

"Sorry," I said. He smiled.

"It's okay."

Edward started to lower his hands, but I reached out and grabbed them. I intertwined our fingers. And I pushed them up, so that they were over his head. I kept leaning toward him, and he kept leaning back.

We leaned back and back, until he was flat against the sofa.

I had to crawl up his body to keep my grip on his hands. I was supposed to be in control. But Edward knew what he was doing. He was trying to take charge. That couldn't happen.

It was a risky move. I was in a very short dress. And I was very horny. I wanted him so badly. But I risked it.

I straddled Edward's lap.

And I leaned against his chest, his wonderfully muscled chest, in order to keep his hands pinned down.

Our faces were so close. I could feel his breath on my neck again, warm and shaky. I looked into his eyes, his beautiful, pure green eyes. I released one of his hands, so that I could run my fingers through his hair, the hair that always looked like sex.

He closed his eyes and sighed. His mouth formed a crooked smile. I released his other hand, so that I could feel the little bit of stubble on his face. Both of his hands found their way to my hips.

It all felt surreal, like a dream.

And I worried that it was a dream, that I would wake up soon and Edward Cullen wouldn't really be on my couch, underneath me, his thumbs rubbing my hip bones in a way so enticing that it should be illegal.

And I didn't want to wake up with regrets, so I lowered my lips the half a centimeter distance to his.


	11. Chapter 11

EPOV

My eyes were closed, lost in the feeling. I was on sensory overload, even without sight.

Her scent surrounded me. It was soft and floral. And I felt drunk in her presence, even though I hadn't had a drink in five years.

She was on top of me, her small frame pressed up against my own. Every nerve ending in my body was awake, alive, alert to every subtle shift she made. Her hands were against my cheeks. Her fingertips ran through the little bit of stubble that had grown since I had last shaved.

I could hear her soft breathing, which became more erratic with each passing second.

And then taste.

She pressed her delicate lips against mine. The first thing I tasted was her strawberry ChapStick. Then she slipped her tongue into my mouth and I tasted mint. I assumed that she had brushed her teeth when she went to the bathroom to "freshen up."

She was delicious, delectable. Everything about Bella was enticing.

I opened my eyes. Her wavy hair fell around our faces. And her brown eyes were closed as she kissed me.

I couldn't imagine a more perfect moment. Everything felt right. It hadn't felt that way in years, if it ever felt that way at all.

And I felt like a fake. I didn't deserve this kind of happiness. It was a mirage and I was a fraud.

I groaned and pulled away from her. "I lied earlier," I said.

Bella pressed her lips quickly to mine. "You aren't really letting me take charge of our relationship?"

"I didn't lie about that. I like dominant Bella." She moved her lips to my jaw.

"Then you aren't really a sex god? Are you a virgin?"

I tried to laugh, but it came out more like a moan, because she found the spot behind my ear. "I'm definitely not a virgin."

Bella pulled away from me and sat back up. She was still straddling me.

"Then what?"

"I lied about my deepest fear."

She shook her head. "Doesn't matter."

My brain was screaming to be honest, to be real with someone. My body was saying to shut the fuck up because she didn't care. And I didn't know which to listen to.

She read the indecision on my face and climbed off of me. My body was really pissed at my brain at this point. I sat up too. Bella curled herself up next to me.

"What's up?"

I groaned. "I don't know. I just felt like such a liar. And I should have just ignored it and enjoyed that you were kissing me, because it was amazing."

She reached for my hand. "Edward, we're honest with each other. And if you don't feel like you were being truthful, then you shouldn't ignore that. I always want to hear what you have to say, so tell me. What's your deepest fear?"

Bella made everything seem so simple for me, like life wasn't really that complicated. Everything was okay. Everything was right.

I took a deep breath in and slowly released it. "That I don't matter. That I've never mattered. And that I never will. That when I die, no one will care, not really. Maybe they'll be upset for a few days, but it won't be like the world is missing someone important."

She was quiet for what seemed like an eternity.

I was waiting for the laughter. I was waiting for the "oh, you are being ridiculous." She was going to say that I was being dramatic; it's what I expected her to say at least, but she didn't.

"You know that's not true, right? You matter, Edward."

I nodded.

Yeah, I mattered when I spilled grape juice on my mother's new white carpet. Or when I wrecked the Aston Martin because I was wasted. Or when I overdosed on sleeping pills because I would have rather died than admit to my parents that I got kicked out of school because I knew it would upset them. Or when I ran off to a foreign country. Or gave all of my trust fund away to people who had less than nothing. Or when I dumped the nice, blonde heiress. Or when I wore the wrong thing to the big, important benefit. Besides that, my parents could care less if I was alive.

She grabbed my face and forced me to look at her. Her eyes were so intense, bubbling. I tried to look away, but she wouldn't let me.

"I don't know why you feel like you don't, but, Edward, you do matter. You are an amazing person—generous, artistic, and kind." My eyes closed and I gulped.

Why did I bring this all up again? Did I enjoy misery? Or was this something she needed to see, my weakness? I did. I felt weak.

I didn't see what Bella thought that she saw in me.

She kissed my lips briefly.

"I'll tell you every single day until you believe it. You matter."

I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her close to me. And I kissed her. Because, regardless of how fucked up I was, she still hadn't given up on me yet. 


	12. Chapter 12

EPOV

My first thought upon waking up was that it was morning. The second was that she slept through the night without a nightmare, the first time since that night. And the third was that she was still asleep next to me and that she looked beautiful, so at peace.

It wasn't exactly how I planned our first date on going, but nothing really occurred as planned when Bella and I got together. All of my assumptions and predictions were tossed out the window. And I kind of liked it, this feeling of freedom.

After my little breakdown, we went to her room. We just laid there on her bed and she let me talk. It was difficult, more difficult than I thought it would be, to talk about my childhood, but she didn't judge. Bella never judged. And I felt myself becoming more and more enamored with this girl.

And then she talked about when her mom left, how she grew up knowing that her mom wrecked a bunch of people's families. She just ignored it, pretended like Tyler Crowley's parents hadn't split up because Mr. Crowley preferred the police chief's wife to his own. And she told me how it felt when her mom abandoned her, how she was scared to go to bed for a year after that, because she was worried that her dad would be gone too when she woke up.

God, we were both so screwed up. It was a miracle that we became functioning adults—if what we were doing could be consider functional. We were fucked up as individuals—both of us still working through decades of hurt—but together we were amazing. I felt like we were invincible when we were together, like we could take on the entire world if we needed to.

I got up from the bed as quietly as I could and ran to her bathroom to take care of business.

When I got out, I was starving. I plodded, as quietly as anyone can after just waking up, to the kitchen. She had bacon and eggs in the refrigerator, so I decided to make her breakfast in bed. I hoped that she would appreciate the gesture.

I was almost done when I heard the apartment door open. I looked down at my state of dress, thankful that I was mostly clothed. Bella had insisted that I take my shirt off. And she was the boss now, so…

"Bella, is that you? That smells delicious." Her footsteps were getting closer and I didn't want this to be any more awkward than it was going to be.

"No, Bella's still asleep," I said.

I turned to see Rosalie in the doorway, her high heels in her hand. Her blonde hair was messy. And her makeup was slightly smudged. Even still, she looked beautiful, but not nearly as lovely as Bella.

She smiled at me. "You're making her breakfast?" I nodded, putting the last of the bacon on the plate. "That's going to win you brownie points. Bella loves a guy that can cook."

I smiled too. "Good. I need all the brownie points I can get."

Rosalie came further into the kitchen and opened a cabinet. She got a glass and filled it with orange juice. She placed the carton back in the fridge.

"Not from what I hear," she replied.

"What does that mean?" I turned off the fire, and turned my attention to the toaster.

Rosalie leaned against the refrigerator. "If you tell her that I said this, I'll stab you with a stiletto." Ow. That sounded painful.

"I promise."

Rose turned her head toward the doorway to make sure Bella wasn't standing there. "That girl is hopeless over you. It's adorable. I've never seen her this way and I've known her since she stole my pink crayon in kindergarten."

I lifted my eyebrows. "Really?"

"Really, so treat her good. I see that you are." She turned to leave, but remembered something and twirled back to face me. "There's a tray in that cabinet to carry all of the stuff to her room."

"Thanks, Rosalie," I said.

"No problem." And then she strutted from the room like it was the catwalk in Milan or some other ridiculous fashion show that Tanya had dragged me to during the years we dated.

I found the tray that she was talking about and then piled all of the food, milk, and coffee onto the tray. And then I had to practice my waiter skills. I briefly became a waiter when money was really tight in order to make rent. It seemed those eight days weren't spent in vain, because I carried it without any trouble.

Bella turned over in bed and opened her eyes when I closed the door behind me. She looked adorable, smiling, but still half-asleep. "Good morning," she said, her voice scratchy.

"I made breakfast, Honey," I said. She giggled. I raised one eyebrow.

"You called me 'honey.'"

I frowned. "Do you not like 'honey,' Baby?"

She giggled again. "We'll discuss pet-names later. Right now, I see bacon and I'm very hungry."

"Good," I said. "All my slaving over a hot stove wasn't for nothing then."

I sat the tray on the table next to her bed. And then I leaned in to kiss her. But she pulled away from me.

"Morning breath," she said.

I reached for her chin and held her delicate face in place. And I kissed her.

"That doesn't matter," I said as I pulled away. "Now, let's eat."

****************

"Is now an appropriate time to talk about pet-names, Kitten?" I asked. Bella gave me an 'are you serious' look.

"Kitten, dear?" she replied. I laughed.

"So, no, on kitten?" Bella shook her head.

"If you call me kitten, I will call you 'Sugar Lips.'"

"Okay." I smiled. "Is that a promise?"

We had done next to nothing all day. She changed into sweats—and I still wasn't allowed to wear a shirt (I was thankful for those extra hours I spent at the gym every morning)—and we watched old movies on her couch. It was fun and relaxing. And it felt good to just be us without worrying about anything.

"Edward Anthony," she reprimanded. I winced. She sounded scary like that.

"I'm sorry, beautiful girl. I didn't mean to make you mad." Bella smiled and kissed me quickly.

"I'm not mad. I just don't want to be named after an evil creature," she replied.

"I take it that you don't like cats." Bella shook her head.

"My dad gave me a kitten for my tenth birthday. I named him Satan, because he was evil and hated me, but he loved my dad."

I laughed. "Maybe he didn't like you because you named him Satan."

Bella pulled away from me. "You aren't taking the cat's side, are you? Because you're a very intelligent boy, but that would be a stupid move."

She pouted her perfect lips. Fuck. She had no idea how sexy she was. If she ever realized, then she would run off and go find someone less screwed up than I was.

"I would never do that, sweetie. Yours is always the right side," I replied.

Bella smiled wide. "Good boy." And then she kissed me again.

Rosalie made a gagging sound as she walked into the living room. "God, you two are so sweet that it's disgusting. I'm going to invite Emmett over here and give you both a taste of your own medicine."

"You should invite Emmett over sometime. I mean, now that you have made it official, I'd really like to get to know him," Bella said.

"Bella, we've been dating for like three months. He's over here all the time. How do you not know him?" Rosalie looked genuinely upset.

"Rose, you've been sleeping with him for three months. And you aren't exactly celibate. If I took the time to get to know every guy you slept with, I would know half of Seattle's male population," she replied.

"Wow, Bella, way to call me a slut. That really helps my self-esteem."

I just sat there as they bantered back and forth. The claws had already come out. I was just waiting for the chick fight. That would be a sight to see—Rosalie and Bella rolling around, punching and kicking.

"Rose, I didn't mean it that way. I just meant that now that you are really serious about him, I want to get to know him better. Why don't you invite him over next week and we can make our boys dinner?" She looked quickly at me. "Is that okay?"

I just nodded slowly.

"Okay," Rosalie said. "But I get to make dessert."

"Uh," Bella exclaimed, folding her arms over her chest. And I had to try really hard not to stare at her chest.

Rosalie put her hands on her hips. "You said that I was promiscuous." My girl rolled her beautiful, brown eyes.

"Fine."

*************

RPOV

We worked in the kitchen for the better part of the afternoon. We ended up making oven-cooked ribs and baked potatoes. We had planned out elaborate feasts and finger foods, but, in the end, went with something that we thought both our guys would like. And I got to make my secret recipe that made all men sigh in fulfillment—double chocolate cheesecake.

Bella looked so nervous as she flitted from the kitchen to the dining room to the living room and finally back to the kitchen. I didn't know why she was so anxious. Edward had been to our apartment before. He had slept in her bed—but that was all that had happened, she told me repeatedly.

It was kind of a shame that nothing had happened. I had Emmett, and I loved him. But, damn, Edward was fine. When I saw him standing in our kitchen cooking without a shirt on, oh lord, I knew I was in trouble. It was only my knowledge that I loved Emmett and that Bella was head-over-heels for this guy that kept me from trying to blow him. How Bella kept her hands off of him or managed to sleep in the same bed without going down on him was beyond me. Edward was a sexy motherfucker.

I watched how he and Bella interacted. It was always so playful and gentle, like they were both falling in love for the first time. I didn't know about Edward, about his past or anything, but I knew that Bella had never been in love. And she had barely had sex—three months of Jacob Black and thirty seconds with Mike Newton didn't count. When I watched Bella, I was sure that she didn't realize how much she liked Edward. But Edward, he knew how much he liked, possibly loved, Bella and that reassured me. He would be good to her and he would be careful with her.

The boys arrived at the same time and both sat down on the living room couch and watched some really lame horror movie, which they both loved. Of course, Emmett would get a new playmate out of this. That was definitely not my intention, but if he was friends with Edward then I could use that connection to my advantage in the future, maybe to drag Bella out to that crazy, rave club that I wanted to go to.

They ate dinner quickly, because they had paused the DVR so that they could come back to the dumb movie, but they made sure to thank us properly. Emmett dipped me in his arms and kissed me so good, that I was giggling for minutes after. That was just how amazing he was though. And Edward must have done something similar, because Bella was bright red, but had the widest smile. We both looked at each other and laughed.

Bella cleared off the table and I loaded the dishwasher. Then we went to watch the dumb horror movie with our men. They were so engrossed with it that they barely noticed us. That was until Bella screamed, and I do mean screamed, when some creature jumped out from behind the door and grabbed the girl, dragging her away.

Edward was in front of her instantly, blocking the screen from her view. Then he wrapped his arms around her. He started whispering something in her ear. And she just kept nodding. I looked at both of their faces. They looked so scared. I hadn't seen Bella like that in a few weeks, since she started talking to Edward every night.

"Um," Edward finally said to us. "I'm going to take her to her room."

I nodded, still confused.

Edward scooped Bella up in his arms and carried her away.

"I thought she was doing better," Emmett said, moving over to the couch next to me.

"Me too."


	13. Chapter 13

APOV

Rosalie called me. She didn't say much, just that I needed to get here as quickly as possible and to bring Jasper. She sounded panicky and Rose was never like that. Rose was always so level-headed, at least compared to me, I'm excitable, and to Bella, who is irrational.

I was in the process of making Jasper chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes—his favorite--but that would have to wait. Jasper knew that something was up before I even began to turn off the stove. He could read my fear from across the room. And he walked quickly to my side.

"We have to go."

We only lived a few floors from Rose and Bella, but it took too long to get there, at least in my opinion. Rosalie opened the door for us before we even had a chance to knock. She stared at me with her stunning blue eyes blurred with tears. Rose latched onto me, wrapping her arms around me so tightly that I could barely breathe.

"What's going on?" Jasper asked.

Emmett pointed toward Bella's bedroom door. It was closed, but I could hear her yelling and sobbing. And things crashing against the walls.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Alice," Rose whispered. "She's been like for a while now. And he is just sitting there with her as she does that. And I don't know what the fuck I need to do to help her. She was better. I thought that she was doing better."

I untangled myself from Rosalie and placed her in Emmett's waiting arms—he really was good to her. And then I walked over to the door. Their curious eyes burned into my back.

Ever since I had met her at Miss Polly's daycare center, I was the only one who had been able to calm Bella down. She cried for an hour after her dad dropped her off, but fifteen seconds with me and she was laughing. I liked that about myself, that I could make my best friend happy.

But lately I hadn't been able to do anything to make her happy or make her trust me. Edward was the only one who could. And now it looked like even he was failing. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong, but we couldn't help her, because Bella wouldn't let us in.

And it was destroying her. And it was destroying us.

I stood in front of her door, but couldn't make myself knock.

BPOV

I didn't know why I freaked out so badly.

And I didn't know why I was still freaking out, but everything just suddenly felt out of control. I was on a rollercoaster that wouldn't stop no matter how much I screamed or cried or threw things. No matter what I did, I was trapped inside myself, reliving that night over and over again until it made me so nauseous that I couldn't even cry.

When I finally gave up yelling and fighting, he was there. He picked my wilted form off of the floor and sat me in his lap. He just held me. And he kissed my hands and my cheeks and my forehead.

"You have to tell them," Edward said quietly.

"I can't." He didn't understand how difficult it was to even talk about it with him and we barely discussed what happened.

"Then, I'll tell them what I know, because I don't know all of it. You won't even tell me all of what happened." He sounded scared. I hated that.

"You aren't telling them anything," I replied angrily. How could he even think about betraying me like that? Didn't he get it? Couldn't he understand?

Edward was quiet for a long time, a few minutes at least.

I finally couldn't take the intensity of the silence and looked up at him. I instantly regretted it. His beautiful green eyes, his sexiest feature by far, were full of tears, tears for me. Edward had been so strong for me this entire time. Since the moment we had met, he had been my protector, my rock. And he looked so shattered, so helpless.

I wrapped my arms around him tighter as the tears I had held back broke the retaining wall.

"Bella," he whispered, his voice cracking. He coughed and tried to speak again. "Bella, they deserve to know something. You don't have to tell them everything or go into details, but they need to know so that they can help, so that we can all help."

His shirt was stained with salty tears. "This is all my fault."

"Don't say that," Edward replied, his voice rough.

"It is."

"No, none of this is your fault. Don't believe that lie."

I gulped. "If I had just waited on Alice and Jasper. Or if I would have taken a cab. Or if I wasn't bothered by being out with two couples. Or if I wasn't so drunk…"

"If that fucker wasn't so goddamn perverted that he couldn't get a girl to sleep with him willingly," Edward spat.

He sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lose control of my temper. That's not helpful."

I wiped the tears from my eyes and leaned up to kiss his cheek.

"I know that you are going to think of it as a betrayal, love, but I'm going to tell Rosalie and Alice."

Part of me of was pissed, but the other part knew that he was right. I couldn't tell them, not yet. But maybe if Edward told them, it would be okay, I would be okay.

I nodded.

"Okay," I whispered.

"Do you want to come with me?" Edward asked.

I shook my head. It would be too much to hear him talk about it. The entire event was already replaying like a horror movie in my head. Edward's description would only make it worse.

He brushed my chaotic hair from my face gently. God, he was always so careful with me. I loved that about him. "I'm going to send Jasper in here with you, okay? I don't want you to be alone."

"Okay."

There was no point in arguing.

I figured that he would have to call Alice and Jasper to come over, but Edward opened my bedroom door and Ali was standing right there. "J, stay with Bella," he commanded.

Jasper came out of nowhere and slipped into my bedroom as Edward left. He closed the door. It should have been really awkward—everyone knew I was screaming and crying about something—but nothing could be awkward with Jasper. He was like my big brother. I was completely comfortable around him.

He jumped on my bed and sprawled out, making himself comfortable. Jasper put his arms behind his head. And he signaled with his head for me to lie next to him, so I did. I climbed up toward my pillows and stared up at the ceiling.

"Alice is driving me crazy," Jasper said, but I could hear happiness in his voice.

"Why?"

"Wedding stuff. She already picked out the date and the venue and the menu. And she's designing her own dress. And she's picked out my tux. And we need to go register. And we got to go pick out napkins. And I need at least four groomsmen, because she has four bridesmaids and it needs to match. I don't think I know four guys that I can stand." He started laughing.

"You knew Alice was like that before you asked her to marry you," I reminded him.

"Yeah, but I didn't know there was so much in a wedding for her to obsess over—silverware and centerpieces and place settings."

I smiled. "Don't forget the bachelor party and the DJ and the honeymoon."

"Oh, the good things about getting married. I forgot about those," Jasper said with a laugh. "I want Alice to be my wife. I just don't want a wedding."

"Well, you can't have one without the other," I reminded him. "Some people can, but you chose the girl who wants to top your parent's wedding."

Jasper groaned and turned on his side to look at me. "Yeah, but I suppose that you aren't going to try and top Edward's parents wedding?"

I blushed involuntarily. "Edward and I are nowhere near marriage or weddings or anything like that. We haven't been dating for very long at all."

"But you love him?" The blush burned more intensely.

"I don't know, Jasper. No, probably not yet." I felt tears in my eyes. Stupid, irrational emotions. "I like him. He's an amazing person. And he's so good to me." My voice cracked.

"He really likes you too," Jasper said quietly. "I can tell. He's protective of you and he took you to listen to his music. Whenever he realizes he's in love with you, he's going to take you to meet his parents."

"I've already met his parents. But it was by accident," I said quietly.

"He acts like he hates his parents, but he doesn't. Everything that he does is to get their approval in some way. And he really cares about their opinion. That's why he'll take you to their house for dinner as soon as he knows he loves you."

"I don't understand why."

Jasper rolled onto his back again, probably satisfied that I was stable again. "Because he'll want to show you off to them, to show them that he has something good that he got without their help."

"I'm not that great," I replied.

"You are," Jasper insisted. "God, he's so happy now. It's been years since I've seen Edward happy. And I know it's because of you, because every time I talk to him, he won't shut up about you. It's rather annoying really." I looked at Jasper. His smile was wide as he stared up at the ceiling.

Jasper was so great to me. He had been since the first time Alice brought him over, back when all three of us girls shared an apartment. It was easy to be friends with Jasper. I was able to talk to him like I did Ali or Rose, but with less judgment. And I think that's why I suddenly realized I could trust him with this.

"That night, Alice's birthday," I said quietly. "Some guy tried to rape me. And Edward was the one who stopped him."


	14. Chapter 14

EPOV

The air was heavy with tension. It weighed down on me and I could barely breathe. I hadn't been in a situation so tense since I confronted Esme on the whole Tanya issue. That was actually a much more pleasant experience than the one I currently faced.

I had told them everything I knew—from the moment I saw her pressed up against a grimy, brick wall until I had exited her bedroom a few minutes before. And they just sat there in silence and in shock.

I heard Rosalie start to cry again. I couldn't even look up. Tears sucked. I hated tears. In my experience, nothing good had ever come from someone crying. Emmett was there to take care of her though, so it was okay. If Ali B started to cry, I knew that it would be my responsibility to take care of her since I had taken Jasper away from her.

Alice didn't cry though.

She took control of the situation. Alice immediately stood up and went into Rose's room. She came back a few seconds later with a laptop. She started to research and ask me questions. And I answered them as well as I could. Bella hadn't actually been raped…at least as far as I knew. I was sure she didn't report it.

And I began to wonder if maybe I should have, if I had been negligent about this whole situation. Maybe I had been a bad friend to her then and now I had become a bad boyfriend by not making her deal with this shit earlier. Maybe she would be better by now if I had helped her through this whole thing better.

Alice came up next to me and took my hand, squeezing it once. "Stop."

I looked at her. "Stop what?" I asked.

She sighed. "Blaming and doubting yourself. You have been amazing to Bella this past month, so stop. I need you to stay present, to stay focused, because so far you are the only one that she trusts."

I looked at Alice and nodded. Emmett and Rose were both staring at me. I felt like I was on display. This was too much pressure, and I wasn't strong enough to handle this. I was a fuck up. I honestly screwed up everything—my life, my family, my future, my fortune--and I was going to screw this up too. I didn't know how to help Bella.

We all turned around when her bedroom door opened. Jasper had his arm around her protectively. I was worried he might snap my arm off if I got too close, but I appreciated that. He was taking care of her when I couldn't. Jasper steered her until she was in my lap. Instantly, I wrapped my arms around her as she melted into me.

The room was silent again.

It was awkward.

We all knew. And none of us were going to say a thing. That's what I assumed at least. The person who spoke surprised me.

"Jasper knows a good therapist," Bella said quietly. "We already called. I have an appointment on Monday."

********

I felt sick to my stomach. I wanted to do this, but, at the same time, I would have given my left pinkie to find some way to avoid it. But the phone was already ringing and it was too late to just hang up and forget like the whole thing hadn't ever happened.

I checked my watch again. It was neither too early nor too late. Someone should be answering the phone.

The phone stopped ringing and someone picked up.

"Edward?" the voice asked.

"Yeah," I said awkwardly. "Hi."

"Hello, son," Carlisle said. He didn't sound like he was patronizing me or acting like a complete dick, so I willed away the nearly overwhelming urge to hang up on him. "What can I do for you?"

It had been a month since Bella and I went on our first date, a month and a half since we met. I had quickly become enamored with her. She became my life. And I loved her. I would put it differently if I knew a better way, but it was true.

I loved Bella.

I had, however, not yet informed her of this. Bella had been going through so much. She went to therapy twice a week and afterward she just seemed so drained, so empty. I spent a lot more time at her apartment than my own.

Usually, I would make her (and Rose, if she was going to be around) dinner. We would eat together when she got back from work or therapy, depending on the day. Then we would watch whatever had been recorded on the DVR or just talk. After that, I would go play my gigs. At the same time that I felt Bella needed me the most, I had suddenly become more in demand. I usually played two gigs a night, sometimes three. After getting breakfast at a little diner, I would stumble back to Bella's apartment and sleep in her bed. Bella tried not to wake me every morning when she went to work, but I was a light sleeper. And I always worried that she would leave without saying goodbye.

But she never did. She always kissed me and ruffled my hair. Then she would say, "Sweet dreams. I'll see you in a bit" or something similar.

The last few weeks had been really rough on us both. And I thought that we deserved a little break. I refused to book any shows for the whole weekend. And I told her to free up some space.

"Um, do you have any time free this weekend?" I asked.

"I always have time for you." I had to resist the urge to comment. For most of my life, Carlisle had always been too busy for me. "What's going on?"

"I would like to introduce you and mom to someone very important to me."

"Is it Bella?" I could see his stupid smirk through the phone line. "Because we've already met her."

"Yes, but you haven't met her as my girlfriend. I really like her, so could you please tell mom to be nice. And that I will always hate Tanya, so she shouldn't even try to scheme and put us back together."

I could just imagine my mom doing something ridiculous like that.

"Are you going to bring Bella to the house for dinner?" he asked, his voice serious. Finally, he realized that I wasn't joking around.

"I assumed that Esme would insist on a chance to try and intimidate Bella. The house is really the best place for that," I replied sarcastically.

"You're mother is not that bad."

"Remember Julie Chenoweth?" It took four minutes before she ran out of our house sobbing. She didn't talk to me again for three years.

Carlisle snorted. "Okay, she is. But you must be pretty confident about Bella if you are going to risk subjecting her to torture."

"Carlisle," I said before realizing that we had actually had a pretty decent conversation so far. I didn't want to ruin the one okay talk that we had had since I was twelve. "Dad, I love her. And I'm going to be with Bella regardless of whether you and mom approve, but I want to give you a chance to get to know her. Because she changed everything. It's like my life is divided in two—the time before I met her and the time after. That sounds…dumb, but that's how it feels."

"I would love to get to know Bella better."

I let out a huge sigh.

"Okay, then. When are you and mom both free?"

********

"Are you sure?" Bella questioned.

I had asked her if she would like to have dinner at my parent's house on Friday evening and she asked if I was sure. Actually, she gasped, turned red, and was silent for three and a half minutes. Then she asked if I was sure.

Her reaction was beyond comprehension. I knew my parents weren't all that great, but I hadn't accounted for this reaction. "No" or "Hell no" or "There is no way in hell I would ever share a meal with your evil parents" I had responses to. "Are you sure" freaked me out. It made me wonder if I really was sure, if it was really the right time to be subjecting us all to the pain and agony that is dinner at my parent's mansion.

Was I sure that my dad wouldn't comment on my career choice? No. Was I sure that my mother wouldn't try to make Bella cry? No. Was I sure that we would all end the night with cheery moods and smiles on our faces? Absolutely not. But I was sure that I loved Bella. And I was sure that, regardless of whether or not I liked them, I loved my parents. And I was sure that I wanted them to meet Bella, to see how beautiful and caring and amazing that she is.

"Yes, love, I'm sure."


	15. Chapter 15

I had just climbed into the driver's seat of my new car. Well, the car was new to me. To the rest of the world, she had been around for about half a decade. But she had a little something and I was instantly taken by her. I had been driving an old Ducati M900 Monster around ever since the Aston Martin incident. But, as much as I loved Lola, Bella deserved an actual vehicle to ride in and taxi fare was killing me. I'd get Bella and Lola together eventually. For now though, it was time to introduce her to Thelma, my Volvo.

My phone rang just as I was starting the ignition. "What's up?"

"What are you wearing?" Alice asked calmly.

The question threw me off guard and I had to actually look down at my clothes. "Um. Black dress slacks. A white button-up shirt. And a blue tie." I surveyed my clothing again to make sure that I hadn't forgotten anything else. "Oh, yeah, I'm wearing boxers. Do you need to know what color those are too?" I asked jokingly.

But then I heard Alice's voice. "Bella, do you need to know what color Edward's boxers are? Or do you already possess that information?"

I wish that I had been there to see her blush. Bella's skin became the most lovely shade of red whenever she was embarrassed. At the same time, however, I didn't want to be there because I didn't really want to discuss our physical relationship with Alice, mostly because there wasn't one. Bella had been through a lot. And I wasn't going to force her or coerce her into anything. When she was ready, we would move forward. Until then, I was happy just being in the same room with her.

"Alice," I said, not amused.

"Just joking. God, no one has a sense of humor. Are you all nervous about your big dinner with your parents? Oh, and what color of blue is your tie?"

"Have you met my parents? Of course I'm nervous. And, I don't know, Alice. It's blue."

I looked down briefly at my tie and was cut off by some idiot. I almost wrecked another car after just a few minutes behind the wheel. I mumbled some curse words, hoping that Alice wouldn't also report those to Bella.

"Okay. But is it midnight blue or cornflake blue? Sky blue? Royal blue?"

I coughed. "I don't know what any of those are. It's blue, Alice. Just blue."

Alice sighed and I could tell that she was getting annoyed. "Just drop off your tie at Bella's apartment and then go chill with Jasper for a while. He says that he needs to talk to you. And she is nowhere near ready to go." And then she hung up on me.

I still didn't know what was going on with Bella. She had been anxious and just weird since I invited her to my parent's house for dinner. Carlisle and Esme were intimidating and overbearing. And controlling. And manipulative. But Bella didn't seem nervous about them. It was me that she was apprehensive around, and it worried me because she wasn't like that around me.

I ran the tie up to Bella's apartment, where a bunch of my crap now resided. But she and Alice kicked me out, so that she could get ready. I was disappointed, but it gave me time to drive Thelma and to be reminded of how much I missed driving.

Alice yanked the tie from my hand and shut the door in my face. I took that as my cue to leave. On to find out what Jasper wanted to chat about.

I knocked on the door and he was there instantly. That worried me. Maybe something was up with Bella. Maybe she wasn't doing good today—she had her good days and her bad days. Maybe I should call off the dinner. Jasper put a hand on my shoulder.

"Sit down," he said.

"What is it? Just tell me. Is Bella okay? Do you know why she is flipping out?" Jasper frowned and walked across the living room to his chair. He sat down and motioned for me to do the same.

Only when I was seated on the couch did he speak again. "Have you told Bella that you love her?"

Now I was lost. "Um. No."

"But you do love her, right?" he asked, worried. "That's why you are taking her to your parent's house, to the house where you grew up?"

"Yes, I love Bella," I replied, more confused than ever. "But what does that have to do with anything?"

Jasper looked down at the carpet like a punished puppy. "I think that it's my fault that Bella is freaking out on you."

"What?" I asked, standing up. Jasper lowered his head further and looked even more dejected. It was pathetic, so I sat back down. "Explain."

"Okay, you have to remember that I wasn't trying to mess things up for you two. I like that you and Bella are together. You're good for one another." All I could think about was murdering my only cousin if he screwed something up with me and Bella. "I thought that you would tell her that you loved her before you did this, so it wasn't meant as a warning or an indicator. You were supposed to tell her already. But you didn't, and now she knows."

I groaned. "You aren't making any sense. Just tell me what the hell is going on."

"I told Bella that when you realized that you loved her that you would take her to meet your parents."

And suddenly I was on my feet again. "Why? Why would you do that?"

Jasper stood up too. "It was the day you sent me into her room so that you could talk to Ali and Rose." It was the day that Bella told Jasper what she couldn't tell me. "And we were talking about you and she started crying because she liked you so much or something. And I didn't think it was a big deal, because I know you and it's what you would have done. Hell, it's what you did. I just assumed that you would be man enough to tell her that you love her, instead of holding it in."

Fuck. I sat back down. "What am I supposed to do now?"

"Tell her," Jasper offered like I was a small child being told that the two comes after one.

"It feels cheap now."

"It's not," he responded. "If you really love someone, then those words are never cheap. I'll actually be surprised if you get those words out."

I leaned back and crossed my arms. "What does that mean?"

"The last girl you said them to was Tanya, and we all know how well that worked out. Plus, you didn't love her. You love Bella and you don't want to screw it up." Jasper laughed once. "You'll pussy out."

"No, I won't," I replied. "I bet that's what you did with Alice. But not me. I'll tell her."

"I told Alice that I loved her on our second date. She told me on our first. We're not exactly orthodox. And I hope that you tell her. She deserves to hear you say that."

My cell phone started ringing. I grabbed it off the coffee table. "What?"

"She's ready. Get your ass over here." And then Alice hung up on me for the second time that day. That chick was starting to piss me off.

I said goodbye to Jasper and walked to the apartment, first quickly, but nerves got hold of me and I could barely forced my feet to shuffle the last few feet. Ali pulled the door open, my hand still in the air to knock. She tugged on my arm and dragged me into the apartment. Then, she began to tie my tie back around my neck.

Jasper was right. I was in no condition to actually tell Bella that I loved her. And blurting it out wasn't going to help the situation. I need to chill the fuck out and prepare something elaborate and grand and then tell her. She deserved something spectacular.

Alice walked over to the door of Bella's room and opened it.

She stepped out and looked stunning. She wore a blue dress that was nearly the same hue as my tie. It reached her knees, but still showed off her toned legs. The color of blue looked amazing with her skin. She looked radiant, like a goddess. And I would have given my life to worship at her feet.

"Do I look okay?" she suddenly asked, taking me from my ogling.

I crossed the room in seconds, only stopping when she stood right in front of me. "You look beautiful, love. I can't wait to show you off, to tell everyone that someone so tantalizing as you would want to be with me."

I took her hand and walked out of the apartment.

Bella fidgeted the entire drive. It made me more nervous to see her so nervous. In an effort to calm her, I intertwined our fingers and then brought her hand to my lips and kissed it. The whole holding hands thing still freaked me out in many ways. I had spent my life with my arms around a girl's shoulder or waist. I thought that meant that they were mine, but holding Bella's delicate hand in my own felt so intimate, so personal. By that time, I knew every detail of her hands—the scar she had on her right thumb that she got from falling down on rocks, the three freckles on her left pinkie, everything.

We finally pulled into the house that my great-grandfather had had built for our family. It had over the years gone through many reconstruction projects, but most of the original house stayed intact. It seemed so familiar to pull into the winding driveway up to the house.

Bella started to shake even more when we got there, so I pulled her into my arms as we stood on the porch. I kissed her once. "Don't be nervous. You are beautiful and amazing and kind. And if they don't see that then they don't deserve to know you."

And then I rang the doorbell before she could bolt.

"Edward, it's so lovely to see you again. And this must be Isabella. Your name is on every tongue in the house," Maria said when she answered. I smiled.

"It's nice to see you too. Where are my parents?" I asked.

"Right here," Carlisle said as he descended the elaborate staircase that led to the second floor.

Maria scooted off as Carlisle took over. He was good at that—at taking charge. It was a good quality for a doctor, but it is annoying as a son when you want to live your own life.

He went right up to Bella and took her hand. "Bella, it is so lovely to see my favorite daughter-in-law again." She giggled nervously. Carlisle loved to refer to Bella as my wife in jest, but if I had my way, she would be.

"It's good to see you too, Carlisle. How have you been?" The words flowed gracefully.

"I've been well. Very busy at the hospital, of course. How are you?"

They were having a decent conversation. It pleased me to no end. "The last few months have been a blur. But Edward has been a part of my life, so it's been wonderful. You really did raise an amazing young man. I've never met anyone so generous or caring or protective as Edward."

I stood there awkwardly as she played me up to my own father. He thought that he had raised a failure. It had to annoy him to hear someone else say that I was okay as a person.

"Edward," my mother exclaimed from another room.

"Yes, Esme," I responded.

"Come help me in the kitchen," she replied. I rolled my eyes. By help in the kitchen, my mother meant order Maria around. My mother couldn't even make a sandwich without a full kitchen staff.

I gave my father a stern look. And then I kissed Bella's cheek. "If he says anything that upsets you, just yell. I'll take care of him."

Without another word, I went into the kitchen. My mother was there with a smile on her face as she told Maria that the chicken needed a few more minutes, as if she had some idea how long it took to make anything. As soon as she noticed my presence, Esme walked over to me and wrapped her tiny arm around my waist.

"You look nice, son."

That's what she said. And she sounded serious, not condescending or sarcastic in the way that only Esme Cullen could be. It freaked me out. I couldn't honestly remember the last time my mother had complimented anything about me.

I stood there for several seconds in absolute shock. Either my mom had become a better actress and was just fucking with me for the fun of it or she was actually being nice. I don't know which one was more worrisome.

"Thanks."

My mother, in her little caramel-colored sweater, leaned against the kitchen counter and looked at me. Her eyes were my eyes. I had gotten them from her. They were proof that whether or not I liked it, I was her son; she was my mom.

"So, tell me about this girl."

"Bella, mom. Her name is Bella Swan."

Esme held up her hands as if surrendering. "I'm sorry. Tell me about Bella. Your father tells me that you love her and I don't know anything about her."

I snorted. "What? Do you honestly mean to tell me that you haven't done a background check yet?"

Esme frowned and I knew I hit a nerve. "It didn't turn up much information, nothing scandalous at least."

"Not everyone lives their life like a Hilton, mother. Bella is a respectable person. I'd be shocked if you find anything even hinting of scandal."

Esme folded her hands. "Her mother was the town whore."

"And my mother is the town gossip. Oh, and she had to bribe my girlfriend for me to even talk to her. Wow. I wonder out of Bella and me who is more ashamed of their mother."

I turned to look at her and she had tears in her eyes. Fuck. Not again.

"Mom, don't cry. I'm sorry. I'm here to try and fix things, not make them worse. Let's just not attack one another."

But she kept crying and tears fell down her cheeks. And I felt like shit because even though she had been trying to bait me with the comment about Bella's mom, but I didn't have to go off on her. And I definitely hadn't meant to make her cry.

So I hugged her. I didn't know what else to do. It took a few minutes, but she finally stopped.

"I'm sorry," I said again.

"Tell me about Bella," my mom said, ignoring me.

I hopped up on the counter. "I don't know what you want me to tell you."

Esme rolled her eyes. "Anything, so that I don't say something ridiculous to the girl that you love." She sighed. "Edward, whether you believe it or not, I don't want to be a manipulative bitch. And I don't want to ruin things between you and Bella. All I want is for you to be honestly, deeply happy."

I didn't know if I believed her, but I wasn't in the mood to argue anymore. "She works at a publishing company part-time and she's getting her M.F.A. in creative writing. She loves Italian food and strawberry lemonade. Her favorite color is green. She blushes when she is embarrassed, so please try not to embarrass her too much. Bella is caring and kind and she likes my music. But I want to play for her on the Baby Grand in the parlor, because she's never heard me on the piano."

Esme smiled slightly. "Does she hate me?"

I shrugged. "I honestly don't know. I don't think so." My mom sighed.

"Okay."

"Mrs. Cullen," Maria said. "The food is ready."

My mom took a deep breath. "I'll do my best to behave. I promise."


	16. Chapter 16

BPOV

Edward left.

He left me alone with his father, his gorgeous, model-like father, to go help his mother in the kitchen. I assumed this was code for 'talk about Bella behind her back.' But maybe I was just being paranoid. I was a commoner after all. It was entirely possible that I still hadn't reached Esme's radar.

Carlisle guided me into an extravagant sitting room. The walls were painted a deep purple and all the fabrics were gold. The room looked like something that belonged in a palace for a king and a queen, not a regular home. And that's when I realized that I had been looking at this situation wrong. Yes, Carlisle and Esme did have an exorbitant amount of money. And yes, they were like the king and queen of Seattle. But I had failed to look at them as just another family with its quirks and problems.

I sat on the couch, my hands fidgeting the way they always do when I get anxious.

Carlisle noticed. "Are you nervous, dear?"

I smiled warily. "Do I fail the interview if I say yes?" He smiled sympathetically.

"There's no need to feel nervous."

I laughed once. "I'm meeting my boyfriend's parents, who also have a very high standing in the community. I've done my research and I know enough to fear this…gathering."

Carlisle smiled and it reminded me so much of Edward's smile. They were so similar. "Research? What have you found out about us?"

I relaxed a little. I think it was from seeing Carlisle's smile. "Nothing juicy. Esme is the matron of five Seattle organizations. Two are charities. Two are art-related. And one is children's foundation that pays for poorer families so that their children can get treatment at good hospitals. You went to medical school at the University of Washington, which is a great school, but you had the money and grades to go anywhere."

Carlisle shrugged. "We had Edward by then and staying close to them mattered more than flaunting money at some over-priced school."

He sounded so real. Carlisle didn't seem like a snob or controlling. Of course, I had only been around him a few minutes and Edward had been around him his entire life. But maybe we are all biased toward our parents. When they are raising us, it is easy to see their faults and magnify them. I was sure that I had done it with my own parents.

"You're not as scary as I imagined you to be," I said. Carlisle started laughing. He ran his fingers through his hair, just like his son.

"Well, thank you, dear. Now, you must tell Edward that I've been good, so that he doesn't give me death glares all evening," he said with a smile. "I can understand why he's that way, though. He doesn't want to lose you."

I leaned back against the couch, trying to relax further, but still tense. "Does Mrs. Cullen hate me?"

Carlisle sighed and shifted in his chair. "No. She doesn't hate you, Bella. But I think that she's afraid of you."

Holy Roman Empire. What was he saying? Esme Elizabeth Masen Cullen was afraid of me? In what universe did that make sense? She was a Masen and a Cullen, belonging to the two richest families in the Pacific Northwest. She was beautiful and graceful and carried herself with poise and dignity. Why would she fear me?

I coughed. "Elaborate, please."

"To be honest, we both are." Now, he was just fucking with me. Carlisle got out of his chair and crouched down in front of me, so that we were eye-level. His blue eyes were intense. "We lost him for a really long time, Bella. He wasn't really here for years before he ran away. He hadn't even talked to me for six months, but then one morning he just shows up at the hospital with a beautiful girl and is asking for my help. God, that has to be the first time he has ever asked for my help. And then he called me last week asking for a meal with us. He hasn't been back to the house since he left three, four years ago. It's all because of you. Esme and I both know that. And we're not going to screw it up. If we mess things up with you, I don't think that Edward will give us another chance."

I was quiet for too long. It made Carlisle nervous. I could tell. "I honestly don't know what to say."

"Dinner's ready," Esme's phantom voice said from somewhere.

I smiled weakly. "Come along, dear. It will be fine."

Carlisle led me into the dining room where Esme and Edward were already sitting. Carlisle pulled out my seat for me and I smiled at him. His son, however, didn't look impressed. I leaned over to Edward, who was sitting right beside me, and whispered to him.

"He's trying. Leave it alone."

He nodded and took my left hand in his, placing both of them on the table in a sort of display. Or maybe that's just how it felt. Esme's eyes were throwing darts at our hands.

The table was quiet for several minutes as we all ate in silence. It wasn't the calm silence either. It was the nerve-wracking, get me the hell away from here silence. And when talking finally began, I wasn't sure if I hadn't preferred the silence.

"So, Bella, Edward tells me that you are getting your master's degree."

I choked, coughed, and then looked at my boyfriend. He smiled softly. "Yes, ma'am," I squeaked out. "I'm getting my Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing at Seattle Pacific University."

Esme looked at me with those Edward-green eyes and smiled. "That's lovely, dear. What kind of writing are you interested in?"

I turned to look at Edward again. He seemed to be in as much shock as I was. "Fiction is my first love, but lately I've been dappling in playwriting. It's nothing spectacular, but I've been given a lot of inspiration over the past few months and plays seemed like a good outlet."

Esme smiled again. It freaked me out again. "I adore the theatre. I work with the Seattle Dramatist Society."

"Yes, Mrs. Cullen, I know." Esme's lips became a flat line.

"Please, call me Esme. My own son does." I was sure that this would ignite some kind of fire. I waited for Edward to yell. Or Carlisle to mention disrespect.

I heard laughter. Edward was laughing. I looked at him curiously. "Oh, mother, I very rarely call you Esme to your face."

She smiled. "That is true. You just refuse to call me by anything other than my first name behind my back."

Weird family. I sat there, not getting their jokes or sense of humor. Edward squeezed my hand once. I leaned closer to him, pressing my shoulder against his arm, missing our usually closeness during dinner.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Carlisle smile.

"How long have you two been together?" he asked. I looked up at Edward.

"Two months," he said. He always based it on the day we met. I'm not sure why. He said that I had his heart with me those two weeks that we were apart.

"You seem happy," Carlisle said.

Edward smiled. "I am."

I looked up at Esme, fearing the worst. Her anger. Her wrath. Her fury. But she was giggling softly to herself. Not exactly the image I had been picturing.

I squeezed Edward's hand and he brought it up to his lips. He gently kissed my knuckles before lowering both of our hands to the table again.

"I'm glad," Carlisle said.

Dinner went smoothly, much to my complete and total shock. There were no fights. No threats. No throwing or cursing. Everyone was very mellow. And I liked it, but we all seemed really confused by it.

Then Esme asked for my help in the kitchen. And so I figured that this was when she was planning on killing me. Big knifes. Empty kitchen. Dead Bella.

I smiled and said, "Sure."

The kitchen was massive, probably bigger than my entire apartment. Everything was black or stainless steel. It made me envious. I spent most of my life cooking for my dad and, until recently, Rosalie. Now Edward cooked us dinner. I appreciated that, but sometimes I missed cooking.

Esme put on oven mitts and pulled out a tray of brownies. It wasn't what I expected from her, but she was continuing to surprise me. This entire family was full of surprises.

"Can you get the ice cream from the freezer, dear?" she asked. I nodded.

In the freezer there was a small tub of vanilla ice cream. Esme set out some bowls and spoons, which I helped her carry into the dining room. Edward's eyes lit up.

"No way," he said. "You didn't actually make brownies, did you?"

"It's the one thing I can actually make that you like," Esme said.

We set everything on the table and Edward went to work on his ice cream and brownies. Carlisle ate his just as quickly. But I watched Esme. She seemed so genuinely happy. And it made me smile.

As soon as I was done, Edward pulled my hands so that I was standing up. He spun me in a circle right there in the dining room. And I stumbled into his chest. He just smiled at me. It was good to see him like this. We hadn't really been playful in a while. He was always so focused on being careful with me, making sure that I wasn't going to fall apart. I liked this Edward so much.

"I'm going to go play for her," he said. And then he wrapped his arm around my waist and escorted me from the room.

Edward took me down a long hallway that led to a single room. He opened the doors for me and left them open. He flicked the light switch. It illuminated the large room. It looked like a ballroom from a Disney fairytale. In the center of the room was a beautiful black piano on a small raised platform.

I could just imagine Edward as a child climbing up on the seat and playing. And then he made it a reality. He left me standing at the entrance of the room, while he sat down at the piano. And, if I wasn't mistaken, he kissed the piano.

Then his fingers, his long musician's fingers, danced across the keys. Edward looked up at me. He smiled.

"This is Esme's favorite."

The music swirled through the air like dandelions on a summer wind. It made me feel like a child, carefree and happy. I wanted to spin in circles until I was so dizzy that I fell down. This song made me young, but it ended too soon. I didn't even realize that there were tears in my eyes until Edward got up from the piano and walked over to me.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded and smiled. "It was so beautiful. Play me something else."

"Okay," he said. "But you have to come with me."

Edward took my hand and took me to the platform. He sat me down on the bench beside him. I was sure that my presence would impede his playing, but it didn't. He instantly launched himself into Claude Debussy's "Clair de Lune" as if he composed the song himself.

Up close, his fingers were even more impressive.

He ended the song and folded his hands in his lap. Mine, however, went to his face and turned it toward me. And I kissed him softly.

Someone cleared their throat and I looked down, not turning around to see who it was.

"Edward, your father wants to talk to you," Esme said. Great. Even though I was a grown woman, I was still embarrassed being caught kissing my boyfriend by his mother. Edward wasn't. He kissed me again quickly.

"Be back as soon as possible, love."

I watched Edward leave the room, already feeling a tug in my chest. I loved him. It had freaked me out when Jasper said that Edward would invite me here when he loved me. And even more so since Edward hadn't actually said it himself. But I loved him. How could I not? Edward was everything that I could ask for and so much more.

Esme walked into the room and sat down next to me. She started playing the piano. She played nearly as well as Edward did. It, like nearly every other thing about her, surprised me.

"Did he tell you I played?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No. He really hasn't told me much about you or Carlisle. I found out more online than he told me the entire time we've known one another."

She laughed once. "That's not surprising. Edward isn't exactly my biggest fan after the whole Tanya debacle. I suppose that he told you about that."

I bit my bottom lip. "Yes, ma'am."

Esme sighed and stopped playing. "Then you must hate me, think that I'm an evil bitch trying to control every facet of her son's life."

"No."

"No?" Esme asked in shock.

"No. I've only known Edward for a short time, but I see how amazing he is, how talented, how full of life, and if I thought that I was losing him from my life, I would do anything to keep him regardless of the method. I think you had good intentions. You just went about it the wrong way." I hoped that I had explained it correctly. Because there was a part of me that could relate to Esme. I wanted Edward and I was willing to fight dirty to keep him.

"You intimidate me, Bella," Esme said out of nowhere. Again, why was I something to fear? I wasn't scary.

"Why?" I asked, laughing at ridiculousness of Esme freaking Cullen being intimidated my me, when it was I who should be so afraid of her.

She smiled. "Because Edward loves you. I see it when he looks at you, so gentle, so caring, so like the innocent boy that he used to be before his father and I screwed him up. Because I was unable to get that boy back for ten years and you did it in two months. Because I know that you are going to be sticking around. And because, let's face it, I'm not exactly the most pleasant person and if I piss you off you can take him back again."

I shook my head. "Mrs. Cullen," I said, despite her previous insistence to call her 'Esme.' "I'm not going to take him away and keep him from you. If Edward wants to be close to you both again, I will encourage it. I love your son and I only want what is best for him."

"You love me?" I heard his clear, smooth voice say. And I blushed bright red, but I turned toward the doorway to look at him.

He looked so beautiful. His eyes were shining. And he had that damn sexy smirk. I wanted to jump him. But that would be highly inappropriate when his mother was clearly in the room with us.

I stood up and walked closer to him. I took his hand in mine, watching as I intertwined our fingers. Then I looked up at him again.

"I love you," I said.

He smiled wide quickly, before gaining his composure again and replacing it with his smirk.

"I love you too."


	17. Chapter 17

EPOV

"What now?" Bella asked as she put her head against my shoulder. I was driving Thelma out of my parent's driveway. All in all the dinner could be deemed by some a success and by nearly everyone as adequate.

I kissed the top of her head, taking in her delectable scent. "What do you want to do? We have a whole weekend just for us."

She was quiet for a minute. But it wasn't nerve-wracking. I felt completely at ease. I spent a few hours with my parents without any serious argument or homicide. I got to play on my piano again. My mom actually insisted that I come back and play more often because no one else touches it and she missed having music in the house. And, most importantly, Bella loved me.

She loved me. And I couldn't make myself worry about anything. All other subjects felt unimportant.

"I want to go to your apartment," she finally said.

Bella had yet to see the place where I lived. And this was largely intentional. My apartment was, as much as I hated when Jasper said it, a shit-hole. It was a little place above a club. Over the last year, I had become good friends with Mr. Buckley, the owner. I played once a week at his club for free in exchange for rent.

"No," I replied. She groaned loudly, making sure that I knew that she was upset with my response.

"Why not?"

"Because," I replied. Wow. That was a very third grade response. I'm so mature.

Bella scooted away from me, clearly upset that I was being so succinct in my responses. I was being ridiculous, pushing Bella away because of something as stupid as my apartment. Even realizing this, I couldn't stop.

"Let's go back to your place. I'll even watch Gossip Girl with you." That show was ridiculous, but Alice, Rose and Bella seemed to love it. I usually made myself scarce when they watched it.

"No," she replied simply.

"No?"

Bella turned in her seat. I took my eyes off the road briefly to look at her. So beautiful. I knew that I couldn't do better than Bella.

"I'm tired anyway. Maybe I should just go up and go to bed. You can come pick me up tomorrow. I mean, like you said, we have all weekend."

Shit. I knew it was a challenge. It was either take her to my apartment or not get to sleep in the same bed as her. I had become so accustomed to her presence and her smell on the pillows that I wasn't sure that I could sleep without that.

But I was a man. I was more than that. I was Edward fucking Cullen. I didn't need some chick giving me ultimatums. And I didn't need some chick just to sleep at night. I could have any girl that I wanted in sixty seconds.

My brain was screaming, "Idiot! This isn't some chick." My heart was screaming, "Bella. You love her. Remember how much you love her?" But my ego was being a total dick and telling the other two to shut the fuck up.

"Fine," I said gruffly. "If that's what you want."

We were both quiet for several blocks. I wanted to apologize, but my ego kept accusing me of being a pussy, so I didn't. I remained sullen, wanting more than anything to pull Bella into my arms and promise her the entire world, but too proud.

And then I heard her sniffle.

My head whipped over to her. The car was dark. I couldn't see very well. But I could tell that she was crying.

What did you do, douche bag? You made her cry. You made Bella cry? That's probably one of the worst things you've done in your miserable life. The first person who loves you without strings attached or trying to use you and you make them cry within fifteen minutes of them telling you? No wonder no one loves you.

I felt like shit.

I took my hand off the steering wheel and reached for hers in absolute fear that she would swat it away, that she hated me now. Bella let me hold her hand, but she was stiff and unresponsive, not at all like she usually was. This was the mess I had gotten myself into by being an asshole.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. "I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. You didn't deserve that from me."

The seconds between the end of my speech and the time she started talking felt like an eternity.

"It's fine," she whispered.

"No," I replied with a sigh. "It's not fine. You should be mad at me and yelling."

"I'm not mad," she whispered again. I sighed. "I just don't understand why it's such a big deal to you. You sleep in my bed every night. You practically live at my apartment. So why can't I even see where you live?"

It was so stupid. Our first real fight was over my shitty apartment. And it just wasn't worth it.

"I just took you to my parent's mansion. And now you want me to take you to my one bedroom apartment above a dirty club, which, quite frankly, smells? You deserve better than that."

"What does it smell like?" Bella asked, sounding innocent and curious and not at all mad. I couldn't help but laugh.

"I don't know. You can judge that for yourself. I mean, if you still want to go."

I gave in. Call me a wimp or whipped or whatever. I wasn't going to risk losing her over something as stupid as being ashamed of where I lived. I had chosen that life. I had been happy with that life. But now, I didn't know.

I needed a cigarette.

She nodded. "Yeah. I'd like to see the place where you sleep, when you aren't in my bed." Then she giggled nervously.

I decided not to comment.

"Okay. Do you want to stay the night or are we going back to your place?" I asked, figuring that if I just asked her what she wanted it would be a whole heck of a lot easier than just trying to read her mind. And failing miserably.

"Let's stay at your place. But can we run home and pick up some clothes?"

I nodded. "Of course, love."

I parked Thelma at Bella's apartment building. She was just going to run up stairs and grab her some clothes for tomorrow and our toothbrushes. It had been several weeks since I moved my toothbrush to her apartment. We hadn't had a huge talk about it. It wasn't something that we had really discussed. All I knew was that she needed me and that I had the overwhelming need to protect her. And I thought that I could do that better from right next to her rather than across town.

" Do you still love me?" I asked as she reached for the door handle to leave.

Bella turned back around and looked at me like I had just asked the most stupid question. To me, though, it seemed valid. She leaned in and kissed my lips softly.

"Silly boy, how could you even ask me that? Of course, I still love you. Just because you confuse me doesn't mean that I stop loving you."

I nodded. "I love you, Isabella Swan."

She wrinkled her nose. "I'll forgive that this time."

Then she got out of the car. I watched as she walked away. And I missed her for every single second that she was gone. But she finally came back. So I took her hand in mine and drove to my crummy apartment.

Jeff was still at the club, Blitz, when we arrived. He was behind the bar at the cash register, sorting a pile of receipts. He looked up at me with wide eyes.

"Hey, prodigy, I haven't seen you back here in a while. This must be the betty that is keeping you away from your own bed." I knew that my girl would be blushing like crazy over this comment.

"Don't be jealous. Jeff, this is Bella. I love her so be nice. Bella, this is Jeff. He is the one who gave me my start, my first gig. And he's also my landlord."

Jeff held out his hand for Bella, which she took. "It's nice to meet you, Bella. It's good to see Edward with a girl. I was starting to think that he might have a crush on me."

I rolled my eyes. But she laughed. Traitor. "It's nice to meet you too."

Wrapping my arm around her waist, I dragged Bella toward the stairs. "It's late. We're going to go. But it was nice to see you again."

"Thursday night?" Jeff asked.

I nodded. "Definitely."

I took the bag from her and led her up the stairs. I pulled the keys from my back pocket and unlocked the door, even though one good kick could knock the entire door down. My precious lock couldn't stop anyone who really wanted to get in. Though, to be fair, who would really want to break into my apartment? It's not like I had much of value.

I led her in.

The walls to the living room had once been white, but that was probably decades ago. Too much hookah and mary jane had tainted these walls. And the carpet had once been plush when it was put in, in the '70s. My couch was tattered, but worn in and comfortable. I had forgotten to clean up properly—I hadn't exactly been expecting guests—so there was sheet music all over the floor. I had been having problems with the arrangement of a new song and got pissed. I threw the whole song on the floor in protest.

"So, what does it smell like?" I asked.

Bella closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. "It smells like stale cigarettes, oil paint, and midnight."

The stale cigarettes part I easily understood. We were above a club. I assumed by oil paint, she was talking about the mural I recently decided to paint to disguise the fact that the walls were disgusting. Midnight confused me. How do you smell midnight?

I shrugged. "If you say so."

I took the bag into my bedroom and sat it down, pulling out my tooth brush. I went to my drawers and grabbed a pair of black shorts. And then I went into the bathroom. I came out a few minutes later and Bella had changed into her pajamas. If I didn't know any better, I would think that she was trying to seduce me, because what she was wearing was barely clothing. She wore short little shorts and a tank top.

And she was sitting on my bed all coy.

It was almost my undoing.

Bella bit her bottom lip and stood up. She brushed against me as I walked toward my bed. Every nerve ending was suddenly awake, but she was gone.

I put my clothes in the laundry basket. There had been a time when I had been fairly negligent when it came to washing my clothes. It wasn't really an option now. I didn't want Bella to think that my clothes smelled bad. I didn't want her to think I smelled bad. The whole point was to attract her to me, not drive her away.

I turned on the box fan and got underneath the covers of my bed. A few seconds later Bella came in. She flipped the light switch and crawled into the bed next to me, snuggling up against my side.

"I'm not tired," she said softly.

"Do you want to play our game?" I asked. Trust me, there were other things that I would rather be doing with Bella in my bed, in my apartment, completely alone for once. But she was in control of that and she hadn't made a move on me yet.

"Sure. You first."

"Um." I felt Bella's fingers on my bare chest, making a pattern. It took intense, ninja-like focus to think. But as soon as I thought of a question, I couldn't speak. I grabbed her hand and held it still. "You told me once that you broke up with Jacob because there wasn't a spark or passion or whatever."

"Yeah," she said.

"But do you feel that with me—intensity or anything?" I suddenly felt like this wasn't the right question to ask in bed. What if she said no? What then? Were we going to fight again?

Bella laughed softly. "Intense, yeah. That's probably how I would describe it."

"What does that mean?" I asked, feeling vulnerable. How she always managed to make me feel that way was beyond me.

She jerked her hands from my grip and put them on my face. Bella scooted herself up the bed. And she kissed me. God, her lips felt so good. Like candy-flavored poison.

"I love you, Edward. I've never felt so strongly about anyone else. Passion. Intensity. Fire. God, it's all there for me. Is that what you feel?"

"Yeah. Yes. I love you. It's exhilarating. Exciting."

"What is your favorite thing that you own?"

I smiled at her question. "Lola."

"Who the heck is Lola?" Bella did not seem pleased.

"Lola is my Ducati. She's red. I'll let you ride her tomorrow."

"You have a motorcycle?" Her tone had changed completely. She sounded excited. "That's so sexy."

I laughed. "Thanks. I try. Now, what do you like that you own?"

"Your beanie," she said.

I had seen my beanie many times since we had been separated. Bella left in on the table by her bed. I wasn't really sure why. And I had never found a good time to ask. So I always just left it alone.

"That's a good beanie," I replied.

"It is. And it is your question."

I had my question. I just wasn't sure if I wanted to ask it. I wasn't sure if I wanted to answer it either. "If you don't want to answer, you don't have to."

Bella interrupted me. "The point of the game is that we have to answer. If there is something you want to know, Edward, just ask."

I took a deep breath. "When was the last time you had sex?"

I felt Bella become warmer. I assumed that she was blushing. It was too dark in the room for me to be able to say, but that's what I would have guessed.

"Like eight months ago. I met you about six months after Jacob. And there wasn't anybody during that time, so…yeah." She answered honestly, even if she did seem apprehensive. It was time for me to step up to the plate.

"Yeah," I said feeling dumb and weak. "It's been a little bit longer than that for me."

Please don't ask, Bella. For the love of all that is holy, please. Don't ask, baby.

"How much longer?" Fuck.

"Like six months longer," I mumbled quickly. "It's just…after Tanya I didn't really go out much. And I didn't want anything shallow. And I didn't want to impregnate some chick after knowing her a week. So I decided to wait until I was committed to someone."

Her lips lightly kissed up my chest. The hollow at the base of my throat. My jaw line.

"How old were you when you lost your virginity?" she asked. I couldn't believe that she had asked me. I didn't have any problem discussing it. She had just seemed nervous with the last question, so it was unexpected.

"It was my fifteenth birthday," I said. "What about for you?"

"Seventeen. After junior prom. How cliché, right?" She laughed once. "Though Alice and Rose both say it doesn't count because he didn't last a whole minute."

"Would your father like me?" I asked.

Bella started coughing. "Will you please give me a little warning next time before we change the topic from sex to my dad? Okay, thanks." I laughed as she took a breath. "Yeah, I think that he would like you. You're good to me, take care of me, treat me nice. I don't think there is anything he can object to."

"Good," I said smiling. "And my dad loves you. He thinks I should get a ring on your finger before you come to your senses and realize that I'm not as great as you think I am."

"You are great. I know it." She kissed my lips. "You are handsome. Creative. Intelligent. Sweet. Adorable. Loving. Sexy. Strong. Amazing."

I sighed, because after each adjective she kissed me again. And by the end, I wanted to believe that I had all of these qualities just so that I could feel her lips again. But alas, they were gone.

"I'm tired," Bella said, turning away from me suddenly. I wrapped my arms around her, and I pulled her back up against my chest.

"Sleep, beautiful girl. I'll be right here when you wake up."


	18. Chapter 18

BPOV

I rested my chin against the pillow and just stared at him, watched as his chest rose and fell with each breath. It didn't surprise me one bit that he wasn't awake yet. Our sleeping patterns were so different. I went to bed a little before midnight, just as he was about to take off. He usually stumbled into my room by five. I woke up at six and was gone by half past seven. He woke up a little bit after noon. It was rare that we could both sleep in and enjoy each other. But that was what this weekend was about. We had gone to visit his parent's house last night and then he brought me back to his apartment for the first time. And I had slept as soundly in his bed as I would have in my own.

It was only ten, so I figured that he wouldn't be up for at least another hour.

I looked at his face. He was so calm, so at peace. And I could only imagine that that is how I slept when he was there with me. The nightmares that had once plagued me felt like a distant memory. It hadn't been easy. It had been really difficult to try and work through what happened, but it didn't consume me anymore. That's what the whole thing was about. That fucker wanted power, control over me. And I wasn't going to let him do that anymore.

Edward had been with me every step of the way. He held me in his arms for hours while I cried. He told me stupid jokes just to get a smile out of me. He kissed me and told me I was beautiful, even when I felt like shit. And I knew I didn't look good at all, but he still looked at me like I was a work of art.

God, I loved him so much.

Very slowly, I leaned toward him and kissed him on the cheek, trying not to wake him. But Edward was such a light sleeper that he woke up anyway. He threw his arm around my waist and pulled me on top of him.

Either he didn't realize that he was hard or he didn't care. And it was very…difficult for me to ignore the fact that he was. And that he was right there under me, very little fabric separating us. I couldn't focus on anything else other than the fact that my entire body wanted him. Badly.

"Good morning," he said, his voice deep. It didn't help at all in making me not want him.

Edward kept his arm around my waist, keeping me pressed up against him. "Hi," I said, my voice a few octaves higher than it usually was. I giggled nervously trying and failing to ignore how good he felt against me, how much better he would feel if I rolled my hips in the way that I so desperately wanted.

With his free hand, Edward brushed some loose hairs from in front of my face and gently tucked them behind my ear. Then he ran his fingers down my cheek. "You're blushing."

"Shut up," I said nervously. God, I was freaking out here. I needed to take control of this situation.

I took a deep breath and then I bit my bottom lip. He always looked at my lips when I did that. He was so calm, so collected. I needed to make him a little nervous.

I lowered my head a little bit and kissed his chest right above his heart, keeping eye contact with him. Then I moved my lips to his neck. And then I moved to the spot below his ear that I knew he loved so much. He rewarded me with a moan. It felt very empowering.

Then, my lips found their way to his. "I love you."

He smiled during the kiss. "I love you, too."

I wanted this. I was more than ready to have sex with Edward, but all of these stupid fears were running through me. What if I wasn't good? What if I did something wrong? Would he still love me after we had sex? How did I even begin convincing him to sleep with me?

It hadn't been this fucking nervous since my first time.

"Are you okay? You look like you're miles away," he said. I looked into his radiant eyes.

"Yeah. I'm just nervous." I hated admitting that to him, but we didn't lie to each other. That was our rule.

He removed his arm that was around my waist so that I was free to move. "We don't have to do this now, love. It's no rush."

I sat up so that I was straddling his stomach. My shorts had ridden up and were now barely covering anything. "I want to. I want you. I just…you're going to have to take charge of this one."

I couldn't look at his face, so I just kept staring at his chest. I ran my fingers across and watched the muscles twitch. His body was so perfect. Mine was far from it.

His fingers gently lifted my chin, so that I was looking into his eyes. "If that's what you want," he said. I nodded.

Carefully, Edward pulled me down on the bed beside him. He took my arm and, at the wrist, began kissing. Every part that his lips didn't touch, his fingers caressed. I had never realized just how many sensitive parts were on just the arm. He shifted on the bed and did the same to the other arm. He was meticulous, methodical, as if he had all the time in the world.

Edward kissed my lips as his fingers played with the hem of my top. He pulled away and searched my eyes for an answer. I let out a shaky breath and nodded.

The way that he always was, Edward gently removed my shirt, pulling my chest against his as he took it off. I gasped at the contact. He kissed me again and lowered me back to the bed.

I felt so bare in front of him, so revealed. It could have been terrifying, but not with the way he was looking at me. "How did I get so lucky?" he asked quietly as he kissed along my collarbone. His fingers caressed my sides. I squirmed unconsciously and Edward moaned as my hips connected with his. That one sound sent fire blazing through my body. So I pushed my hips forward again.

Edward growled, a deep primal sound, and pushed his hips back against mine, so that they were pinned. He felt so good.

"Bella," he said sounding breathless. "You're going to have to keep still for a little bit more."

"Why?" I said, barely recognizing my own voice. "I thought you were going to ravage me."

Edward slipped down my body, kissing my sternum right above my breasts. "No. Another time. Right now, I want to worship you. I want you to feel pleasure in places you didn't know you could feel pleasure. I want every nerve ending awake. I want to hear my name on your lips."

"If you keep talking like that, then I won't be able to keep still. Oh, god." Edward brought his left hand up to my breast. His thumb played with the already sensitive bud. But that wasn't what made me gasp. His lips were on the other nipple.

My hips lifted again, searching for his, begging for a release. But Edward was having too much fun teasing me to let me get what I so desperately wanted. No fucking fair.

I pushed against his chest with both of my hands. He removed himself quickly and lay down beside me. "I'm taking back control," I told him in as authoritative of a tone as I could muster without a shirt on.

Edward smiled wide and nodded. "By all means." He folded his arms behind his head.

It had sounded like a good idea when I was just writhing there against his touch, but the idea of actually taking charge when I had to put it into practice was a bit more difficult.

I straddled his lap. And then I grinded against him to tease him like he had been teasing me. He gasped my name. "Give me your hands," I ordered. He immediately held them out for me.

His smile got wider than before. I placed his hands on my waist. And I leaned into him, kissing his chest. And then finding his lips again, while his grip pushed me against him even more. The friction was incredible.

I gasped and groaned in frustration. And I couldn't take it anymore. I slid off him and pulled his shorts and boxers down. I was over playing, through with games. I was ready for my prize.

And then Edward was just laying there in all his Greek god glory, completely naked. He looked so unashamed, smirking at me. He signaled with his finger for me to come closer. I scooted closer to him, leaning over him and kissing him.

Edward placed me against the bed. Slowly, he removed my shorts and panties. His eyes never left mine. "Are you sure?" I nodded.

I bit my bottom lip as he spread my legs with his knee. He kept most of his weight on his forearms, which were on either side of my body. But I felt just enough of him to make my heart pound wildly. I wrapped one of my legs around his waist and pulled him closer.

He laughed. "Anxious, love?"

"Edward, stop teasing me or I'll leave you to take matters into your own hands," I threatened. He laughed again.

His lips found mine, and very slowly, he entered me, filling me completely. I threw my head against the pillow at the sensation. Edward gasped against my lips, and it was the sexiest thing I had ever heard or seen. I pushed my hips against his, urging him to continue.

His rhythm was slow and deep, reaching further inside of me than any boy ever had. His breath was ragged and he moaned in a way that should be illegal. And with every thrust, I gasped, "Edward," which seemed to spur him on. He increased his speed, and I felt a pressure building in me.

Edward reached between us and flicked my clit with his thumb. "Fuck," I screamed out.

He liked this reaction and did it again in time with his thrusts.

"Fuck, Edward," I said again. I grabbed his hair, pulling his face down, and moved my lips hungrily against his.

I was panting in between kisses, knowing that any second I would be a goner. Out of nowhere, Edward repositioned himself, so that he went even deeper than before. And my world exploded.

My vision went out of focus for a second as Edward's thrusts became more and more erratic. I came back just in time to see the most beautiful thing in the world—Edward's face as his orgasm hit him. And then he collapsed on top of me, his head resting on my left breast.

I bit my bottom lip and played with his hair, which was chaotic from me pulling on it. "I love you," Edward said, his voice muffled against my bare flesh.

"I love you, too."

"Am I as good as I think I am?" he asked. I giggled.

"Better."


	19. Chapter 19

APOV

"Bella?" I asked as I answered my phone. She was supposed to be spending the weekend with Edward.

"Hey, Alice." And then she started giggling. On the other end I could hear as she hushed Edward and told him to stop. I didn't know what she wanted him to stop doing though. I didn't want to know honestly.

I looked at Jasper and rolled my eyes. "What's up?"

"Do you guys have plans for tonight yet?" she asked. I put my hand over the phone.

"Jasper, do we have plans for tonight?" He snorted and looked back down at the newspaper. He was reading about stocks or the economy or something depressing like that. "No, I think we're free. What did you have in mind?"

She giggled again. I heard the sound of swatting and then Edward saying, "Ow."

"Edward and I wanted to know if you wanted to go out to dinner with us. I feel like I never see you anymore, Ali. And Edward won't admit it, but he misses Jasper."

"No, I don't," Edward yelled in the background.

"It would be great to hang out with you guys, but I thought that this was your weekend together," I said.

Edward and Bella hadn't had much time to just be normal. They deserved that. And I didn't want to intrude upon that.

"It is," Bella said. "And we want to spend it with our friends."

"Okay. When and where do you want to meet?" I asked.

After lots of deliberation and relaying messages between our guys, we agreed to meet at one of our favorite little restaurants at eight. I hung up the phone really excited. We hadn't gotten to spend much time with Bella since the engagement party. And that felt like eons ago. Life had been so chaotic since then. I had a wedding to plan. Jasper had taken a greater role in his father's business. Edward had been playing multiple gigs every night. And Bella had work, therapy, and seminars. It would be nice to take a night off from all of that.

As soon as I hung up, I smiled at Jasper. He didn't even look up from the paper. "I'm not dressing up for this thing."

I pulled the paper from him and threw it over the couch behind him. Then I climbed into his lap. He sighed in annoyance. I brushed his hair from his eyes.

"I never said you had to dress up," I said quietly.

He didn't say anything. What was his deal? Did he even want to go? And if he didn't, why hadn't he said anything?

Jasper started playing with a strand of my hair. I snuggled in closer to him, pressing my lips against his jaw. He wrapped his arm around me.

"I know. Just forget I said it. I'm just cranky or something."

"Is is hungry cranky, stressed cranky, or you need to get laid cranky?" I asked. He laughed. "I'm being serious, baby. You know I like taking care of you."

He kissed me slowly, sucking on my bottom lip until I moaned in pleasure.

"In that case, baby, I'm starving. Can you make me a sandwich?" I laughed and jumped up from his lap. He slapped my ass as I walked toward the kitchen. "Love you, baby."

I laughed. And went into the kitchen. Jasper was never like that, never expected me to make dinner or clean up. He was a very progressive thinking man. Plus, we had a maid. And he liked to eat food that was edible, so he usually cooked himself. Sandwiches, however, were my specialty.

I came back a few minutes later with his sandwich and sat down next to him while he ate. He really had been so stressed lately. It couldn't have been easy helping me plan the wedding, taking over the reins of a billion dollar company, and dealing with his psycho mother. I probably hadn't been as attentive to him as I should have been. Nothing was more important to me than Jasper, not even our wedding.

"We don't have to go out tonight if you don't want to. I can call them back," I offered.

"No. It will be good to see them. It's been too long."

"Good," I said happily and then I remembered something. "Oh, I should probably warn you."

"What?" he asked warily.

"I think that Edward and Bella finally had sex." I clapped my hands excitedly.

He groaned. "Why do you think that?" I rolled my eyes at him.

"Do you remember what we were like after we had sex the first time?"

"Nope," he said plainly.

I grabbed his plate from his hands like I had just done with his newspaper. Only this time I sat it on the over-priced coffee table instead of on the over-priced carpet. And then I climbed back into his lap again, wrapping my arm around his shoulder.

"I remember. I couldn't stop giggling and you couldn't keep your hands off of me." Jasper smiled proudly.

"That's how we always are," he replied, the wide smile still on his lips.

I smiled too. "Okay. Maybe. But are Edward and Bella always like that."

He shook his head. "Not really."

"Yeah, but that's what I heard when I was talking to Bella on the phone. She couldn't stop laughing long enough to form a sentence. And she had to keep telling Edward to quit touching her. They slept together. That's the only explanation."

Jasper put his forehead against mine. "You are overly confident in your assessment. That isn't the _only_ explanation, but it is a possible explanation."

I kissed him. "How much do you want to bet?"

Jasper leaned his head against the back of the couch and looked at the ceiling. "We are not betting on whether or not my cousin and your best friend had sex. That's just weird."

I wiggled in his lap. "You're just afraid you'll lose."

"Fine," he said. "What's the bet?"

It was way too easy to convince him to take the bet. It almost worried me. If I hadn't been so sure that I was right, I would have wondered if he had inside information.

"Whoever wins gets whatever they want tonight," I said, kissing his Adam's apple.

He laughed. "Should I just get my cowboy hat out of the closet now? Do I have any chance of winning?"

"I guess we'll both just have to wait and see."

BPOV

I loved Lola. I may have been jealous of Edward's complete devotion to her at the beginning, but she had won me over. She was cherry apple red and, quite frankly, turned me on. Seeing Edward ride around on Lola was almost as hot as seeing him ride me.

We rode Lola around the city after we finally managed to get out of his bed. It was exhilarating. At first I was afraid of crashing, but I had to trust that Edward would protect me, wouldn't do anything stupid and risk our lives. It's what I had done when I gave him my heart. All I could do was trust him.

We decided to get dinner with Alice and Jasper. I missed my best friend. And Edward needed some male interaction. He spent all his time at the apartment with me and Rose. Occasionally Emmett would come over, but usually Rosalie just went over to him place. Edward needed to have a life beyond me, like I needed one beyond him. But we still wanted our weekend.

Plus, after the events that morning I really need to squeal and gossip with Ali. She would want to know everything. And I had to tell someone. Not in an exhibitionist way. I just couldn't keep it in, though I was concerned about her abruptness. Maybe Rose would have been better.

We stood at the entrance of the restaurant, waiting on Alice and Jasper. Edward had his arms around my waist, holding me so that my back was against his chest. He rested his chin on the top of my head.

"Why are we here?" he asked. "I'd rather be back at my apartment alone with you."

"You need food. We have to keep your stamina up."

He scoffed. "It was only twice this morning. That was like eight hours ago. I've got plenty of stamina."

I turned around in his arms, wrapping my own around him. "Edward, I have no doubt that you could throw me on a table and fuck me in front of all of these people and I wouldn't even care. I don't doubt your abilities. Please don't make it sound like I am."

He nodded and stared off at a wall or something, refusing to look at me.

Sometimes I didn't understand Edward. He acted so confident, so cocky and arrogant. But he was wounded in ways I didn't really comprehend. No matter what he did, he never felt good enough for me, for his parents, even for himself.

I stood on my tiptoes, trying to kiss him, but I was still a few inches too short. I would need his help. And, by the way he set his jaw, I didn't think I was going to be getting it.

"I love you, Edward. God, I love everything about you." I took a breath. "Tell me what I can say to make this better."

He shrugged.

"If words aren't going to work, then I'll just have to show you how much I love you tonight. I'll have to show you what you do to me. Because you gave me the three best orgasms of my life this morning. I'm just going to have to return the favor."

I watched as his lips twitched and formed a small smile. It wasn't overwhelming. But it was enough to make me happy.

And then Alice and Jasper burst through the door like a tornado. Alice pulled me from Edward. She told the boys to get us a good table. And then she hauled me off to the bathroom.

Alice didn't even wait to see if the bathroom was clear of people. She just pounced. "How was it?"

"What?" I asked, my face betraying me, turning red. It's hard to pretend like you had no idea that your best friend was asking you about sex with your boyfriend when you were already blushing.

"I…I don't know—"

"Isabella Marie Swan, don't even pretend. I am your best friend. I can tell."

I gasped. "How can you tell?" And then I realized that I had just inadvertently admitted it. Shit.

Alice smiled triumphantly. She calmed down finally. "So, really, how was it?"

I giggled to myself, looking at the tile of the bathroom floor. "I don't know, Alice."

She rolled her eyes at me. "Give me something, Bella. Who initiated it? Who was on top? Is he as good as he looks?"

I covered my ears. My face was so red. I could feel the heat radiating from it. I groaned. "I assume you mean the first time?"

Alice giggled and clapped her hands together like a spoiled child who was receiving yet another present. "Oh this is so good. I want details, Bella. You're killing me."

I sucked it up and just told her because I knew that I wouldn't be leaving the bathroom until I gave the answers she wanted.

"I initiated it. He was on top. Yes, he doesn't just look like sex on legs. He is. Are you satisfied?"

"The better question is were you?" I rolled my eyes.

"Edward is a very attentive lover. I may not be thrilled with his past as a man-whore, but he definitely learned how to please a woman."

I walked over to the mirror and re-applied my lip gloss. Alice was right next to me fixing her lip stick.

"So, is that it?" I asked.

"Is he better than Jacob?"

"No comparison," I replied. "But, to be fair, I was never in love with Jacob. And sex with him was more about satisfying an urge than…expressing to the man that I am hopelessly in love with just how much he means to me. Of course, it's going to be different."

"And better?" Alice asked again.

"Much better. Infinitely better."

"Good. And you used protection?"

I bit my bottom lip before realizing that it had messed up my lip gloss again.

"Bella," she exclaimed.

I sighed. "I'm on the pill. We just didn't use a condom the first time. The second time we did. I swear I wasn't thinking." I looked down. "He was right about me forgetting everything but the pleasure," I mumbled to myself.

"Just…be safe. Neither of you are ready for a kid right now."

"I know," I said.

"Now that I have my answers, let's get back to our men."

Alice took my arm and led me to the table. Edward was wearing a huge smile. Huh. I wonder what he and Jasper were talking about. I slid in next to the man I loved. And Alice sat next to Jasper.

She gave him a look that I didn't understand and said, "Cowboy up."

He gave her an annoyed look. "Yeah, I know."


	20. Chapter 20

The sound of my phone blaring woke me from my sleep. I was having a wonderful dream that I had this beautiful girl who loved me, despite all of my obvious faults. And we had gone out to dinner with some friends. After that she came back to my apartment and we made love. After that, she gave me the best head I've ever had. Seriously, this girl was skilled. She fell asleep in my arms, and for hours I just watched her breathe.

But that dream was over, too good to be true.

"Hello," I said, answering the phone without bothering to look at who was calling.

"Edward, did I wake you?" she asked.

"Mom? No, no, it's okay. What's up?"

I blinked my eyes a few times, trying to wake myself up. The dream still seemed so vivid. I couldn't shake it. And then someone rolled over in my bed. Her brown hair was messy from our activities last night. My fingers had tangled her beautiful locks. Then her brown eyes fluttered open and looked at me as she smiled. She was my dream girl, my Bella.

"I need to ask you something. Please don't blow it out of proportion," Esme said.

I sighed just imagining all of the things that Esme could want from me. "What?" I asked more sharply than I had intended.

Bella frowned at me. I made an apologetic face and reached for her hand.

"Can I have Bella's phone number? I want to invite her to brunch with me."

My jaw dropped.

My initial reaction was to say no. I didn't want Bella to be alone with my mother for more than thirty second intervals. There was so much damage that she could do to our relationship. But, as much as I wanted it to be, it wasn't my decision. If Bella didn't want to share another meal with my mother then she didn't have to. But either way it would be her choice.

The only other one of my girlfriends that Esme took out to brunch was Tanya. It was at one of these lovely dining experiences that they concocted a plan to get me off of the streets and back into the mansion. It was still a sore spot for me, being betrayed by two people who I thought I could trust. Even if it was in small doses.

"No," I replied. "But you can talk to her. She's right here."

Bella eyes got really wide in fear. "Who is it?" she whispered to me.

"My mom," I replied just as quietly.

Bella looked even more scared as I handed her the phone. "Hi, Esme," she said, her voice shaking a little.

During the pause, Bella gave me a look that let me know just how displeased she was with me and my actions. "Um. Yes. We're at his apartment."

I was curious to how my mother would react to that. She had known that I had just woken up. And that Bella was right next to me. Esme was well aware of my sexual exploits in the past. Me in bed with a girl might not have surprised her at all. But maybe the fact that it was Bella, the woman that I loved, would up the ante.

"Um. Sure. What would I wear to something like this?" Had Bella just accepted? Shit. Really? I had thought for sure she would turn it down. She laughed. "Okay. And Edward knows where this is at? He can drop me off?"

I had to drop Bella off at the stupid country club that my mother adored. It was teeming with socialite women who cheated on their husbands with tennis instructors. It was pathetic and vile. I hated that place.

I had wanted to spend all of our last day together.

"Okay, Esme. I'll see you in a bit." She paused. "No, no, it's fine. I think that this is important. I'll just have to make it up to him later."

Bella looked at me as she said the last sentence. Then she bit her bottom lip and giggled. And, God, it should be illegal the way the I reacted to her. She was so damn enticing.

Bella blushed at something that my mom had said. And I was left to wonder what could possibly turn her so red. "I…I'd prefer not to discuss that right now. Or ever." She laughed nervously. "Yeah, okay. Bye."

She hung up the phone and handed it back to me.

And then she threw back the covers and crawled out of my bed gloriously naked and started searching around the room for her clothes. Half of which, I knew for a fact, were in the living room. I hadn't been able to control myself after the dinner last night. She teased me the entire time and I was so worked up. I drove at dangerous speeds to get back to the apartment with her.

I just watched as she searched the floor for anything at all to wear. She found her bra by my dresser and pulled on the t-shirt that I had been wearing last night. For a few seconds she left the room but came back with her jeans on.

She walked over to the bed, kissed me, and pulled the covers away.

"Get up," she ordered.

I wrapped my arms around her waist. It would be so easy for me to pull her down onto the bed with me. Sex with me had to be better than brunch with my psycho mother. Surely I could find a way to convince her of this.

I looked up at her, but she was staring at my body. She had taken away the blankets, so I had nothing covering me at all. I had a decent body. I went to the gym on a regular basis and I tried not to indulge in sugar too much. But Bella was licking her lips like I was Adonis or something. Just more proof that she didn't see me clearly.

"I'd prefer you coming back to bed," I replied.

She sighed, her eyes glancing at my face before traveling the entire length of my body. "Edward, you know I can't. I need you to take me by my apartment so I can change and then to the country club."

I slid the hands that were resting on her hips down her ass and placed them on the back of her thighs, gently kneading them. "I don't want you to go."

She moaned. "I see that. But I have to."

Then I started using my thumbs to rub her inner thighs. She squirmed. But I tightened my grip on her and held her in place. "You don't _have_ to."

Bella let out a shaky breath. "No, but I promised your mom that I would. And, she's trying, Edward." She took another breath. "We can do whatever you want as many times as you want when I get back."

I stroked her core through her jeans, giving her just a taste of friction. She bucked in my hands. "Anything?" I asked.

"Oh, God, anything."

I immediately let go of her completely and climbed out of bed. My jeans were right by the side of the bed, so I pulled them on. Bella looked so good in my t-shirt, so I went to the dresser to find me another on. I slipped on some shoes and grabbed my keys.

And then I took Bella's hand and we left the apartment. All the while I felt like she was going to be fed to the wolves. And I was the one delivering her to them.

Esme's POV

It didn't surprise me one bit that my son walked Bella to the table at the country club where he knew I would be sitting. It didn't surprise me that he was wearing only jeans and a t-shirt, clearly breaking the dress code. And it didn't even faze me that he had gotten in here like that. He was a Cullen after all.

Bella looked lovely. She wore only a plain white and magenta cotton dress, but she stood out in the room. She was glowing with young love and true happiness was a rare commodity in this crowd. Bella and Edward turned more than a few heads when they arrived, though I'm not sure who they were more shocked to see, my prodigal finally returning or the beautiful young woman who held his hand.

Edward pulled out Bella's chair for her. She slipped silently into it. I could tell that she was nervous and felt out of place.

Then my son looked at me.

I expected him to threaten me, saying that he would tell Naomi Smith about my surgeries if I did anything to Bella. Naomi Smith had her mouth open almost as much as she had her legs open. It's no wonder that her daughter became so loose with her as a role model.

But Edward didn't threaten anything. He looked at me in the eyes and with absolute sincerity said, "Please, Mom, I'm trusting you with her."

God, he was so worried about her. I could see it in his eyes, one of the only traits he had gotten from me. He was worried, and I suppose that he had the right to be. We were sitting in a room of fake, spoiled princesses. And I used to be one, so I knew how they think. They didn't want Bella here, but they couldn't say anything, not to me, at least. One of them might try to say something to her, but I already knew that Bella could take care of herself. She had made Tanya cry at the benefit.

Still, I wasn't going to risk an incident.

"I know. I'll take care of her. And we'll call you when we are about to leave." He nodded.

And then he leaned over Bella to kiss her. Again, I knew that this was another show of strength and power. Edward was showing them who Bella was before they got a chance to gossip about who she might possibly be.

It wasn't just a little peck on the lips either. Edward had his tongue down her throat. And his hands were tangled in her wavy brown hair. And then he pulled away. She smiled and looked down, beet red.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too," Bella replied. He didn't even make a move to leave. She looked up at him. "It'll be fine, Edward."

He nodded and left the room. The whispers erupted almost immediately. And they were all glancing at our table. Bella's back was to most of them. I looked up coolly and most of them stopped. They knew better.

"How are you this morning, Bella?" I asked.

She fidgeted with her hands nervously. "I'm okay." And then she giggled softly to herself. "How are you, Esme?"

"I'm wonderful, dear. I'm so pleased that you decided to join me."

"Thank you so much for inviting me. I've never been to a country club before."

I smiled. I had practically been born in a country club. My world was so different from hers. I almost couldn't believe that there could be anything to bring up together. But, of course, there was. "Edward hates it here," I said.

Bella laughed. "I know. He told me eight times on the way here."

As a child Edward had spent a lot of time here. I came often to socialize. And his father came to play golf with some of his childhood friends. During high school, he and his friends started hanging out at other places, but he didn't hate the country club. It wasn't until after he ran away that he refused to come. He called it a monument to self-indulgence and hypocrisy.

"I think that it is more about the people than the actual building. We let him down. He just didn't realize it until he was grown," I said.

Bella looked at me sympathetically. "It must have been hard for you, losing your son like that."

Hard. Yes. Very difficult. I spent the entire six months that he was gone, laying in bed ill with worry and fear. I hadn't been the best mother to him. And I had seen him slipping from us for a while. The bottle of pills his junior year of high school. The Aston Martin when he was nineteen. And then he was just gone.

And then he was back.

"Yes. But it feels amazing to be around him again, to see what kind of man he has grown to be."

Bella smiled at me bashfully. This girl was head over heels. One look at her at the dinner the other night and I knew it to be true. And then they were in bed together this morning, which shouldn't have shocked me as much as it did. Edward had been promiscuous when he was younger, but it had seemed that he grew out of that. I could only assume that since he and Bella were together that he was serious about her.

And that worried me further.

She was a lovely girl—beautiful, kind, and protective—and she really loved Edward. And she obviously wasn't dating him for his money, because he didn't have any. Well, he had money. He just didn't know about it. Carlisle and I didn't want to risk another incident like last time. He had gone all rabid with his obsession of the poor. And, if Bella wasn't after our fortune, then she wasn't afraid of me. That was a new and disturbing feeling.

Our waiter finally came and dropped off the food that I had ordered before Bella had arrived. She said, "thank you," which shocked the waiter. And then she began to eat.

Someone walked up to our table. I knew instantly who it was. I had seen her earlier. And she had undoubtedly seen Edward's performance. Plus, she was catty and would want to get back at Bella for the incident at the benefit.

"Hello, Esme," Tanya said politely, smiling at me.

Bella's face immediately became set. I think that she thought I had planned this. Surely she knew by now that I wouldn't dream of doing anything to push Edward further away.

"Hello, Tanya. What can I do for you?" I asked.

"I was wondering if I could join you. My party left to go shopping and I am too exhausted from jewelry shopping yesterday." Tanya smiled.

I looked at Bella. She had her hands folded in front of her on the table. And her eyes were piercing me, refusing to even acknowledge the girl that was standing beside me.

"I'm sorry, Tanya. Bella and I have some important matters to discuss."

Tanya giggled. "I don't mind. Maybe I can share my opinion."

I looked at her in disbelief. Was she always this insolent or was it a recent attitude change?

"No," I said firmly. "I'm here with my son's girlfriend. Some other time."

She wouldn't quit. "Esme, that's supposed to be my seat." She pointed to where Bella was sitting without looking at her. "I'm the one that is supposed to be with Edward."

Impudent child.

"No, Tanya. We both screwed that up, and we can't fix it. I'm not going to make the same mistake with Bella. I'm sorry that you are upset, but that's the way things are now."

Tanya frowned at me. "Not if I have anything to say about it," she replied.

Bella spoke up for the first time. "You don't."

Tanya turned to look at her. She looked pissed. "Excuse me?"

Bella was unfazed though. "You don't have any say anymore. You lost him by caring more about his trust fund than you did about him. You were afraid of not being able to live the life that you were so accustomed to that you agreed to do whatever you could to get him back for money. And you faked a pregnancy to do that." Bella shook her head in disgust. "Esme did what she did out of love and fear for her son. You did it out of love for yourself."

Tanya had no response. She just stood there, looking at Bella.

"You can go now," Bella said after a few seconds.

Tanya turned and walked slowly away. I imagined that no one had ever put her in her place like that. And apparently Bella had done it twice. It was impressive.

"I don't know why he's so worried about you. You can take care of yourself," I said. She smiled slightly, but I could see a hint of sadness.

"He has his reasons." She shrugged. "But it's no matter. So what are these important things that we need to discuss?"

I smiled. "I don't know. I just said that for her to leave. And it didn't work. She needed a healthy dose of fear put in her."

She laughed. "You're so conniving, Esme."

I paused. "Actually, dear, there is one thing." I wasn't sure at the beginning if I really wanted to do this. But now I was nearly positive. She wasn't afraid of me. She didn't seem to be afraid of anything. And she was good for Edward.

"What is it?" she asked.

I pulled the small black box from my jacket pocket and slid it across the table to her.

"I've already cleared it with Carlisle. He agrees that you should have it. That man adores you. I feel a little jealous."

She opened the box and pulled out the necklace. It was white gold and had the Cullen family crest on it. Bella gasped.

"Carlisle gave it to me after the first time that he said he loved me."

Bella looked down at it. And then up at me. And then back at the necklace.

"I don't know what to say."

I smiled at her. "Consider it a peace offering, a step in the right direction. We are evidently going to be part of each other's lives and I think that it would be best if we got along." 


	21. Chapter 21

I sat on the couch at my parent's house. On the drive to the country club, my dad had called and asked me to come over and have some real food with him since Bella and mom would be eating fruit and scones. My dad ran back into the room and he un-paused the game.

"I still can't believe that mom let you buy a Wii," I told him. "She hates video games; she didn't even want me playing Pong because she thought that it was too dangerous."

He laughed. "I can't believe that I'm beating you in Madden."

"I haven't touched a gaming console in two years. You have a Wii in your house. You should be beating me." I was only down by one touchdown. It wasn't like he was killing me or anything.

"When exactly would I play? And who would I play against? Your mother? You just pointed out how much she hates video games." I smiled.

"Why did she even let you buy it?"

Dad gave me a look like "she didn't let me." And then he smiled. "She likes bowling. It isn't too strenuous for her."

I laughed so hard that I couldn't even focus on the game and missed the kick. "That sounds like her."

He laughed for a few seconds before getting really quiet. It was the kind of quiet where you know something important is about to be said. And all you can do is wait in anticipation.

"I'm glad you are here, son. I've missed having you around."

I didn't even know what to say to that, so I just nodded. And then I said, "Yeah." Because it was good to be there. And because I had missed Carlisle.

He wasn't the best father while I was growing up. He was more absent than anything. But the first few years of my life couldn't have been easy for him or my mom. They were both still in college when they had me. And then he had all those years of medical school.

He was starting his career and I just wanted him to come to my t-ball games, like all of the other dads who seemed so proud of their kids.

It was 4th and goal and if I got a touchdown here I would tie the game up.

"Hey," Carlisle said. "So, your mom tells me that you and Bella are sleeping together."

My brain froze for a few seconds. And it gave him enough time to sack my quarterback. Fuck. That was dirty.

I dropped the controller on the couch. "Do you really want to have that conversation or are you just trying to distract me so that I can't win?"

He smiled at me. "A little bit of both." I shrugged.

"Yes, we are sleeping together."

Carlisle looked concerned. "And she's okay, it hasn't triggered any flashback or anything?" I shook my head.

I had done the research. I knew that anything could set off a flashback, just like that stupid horror movie had. But so far nothing we had done had caused one. And I'd been avoiding certain positions and situations, because I feared that they might trigger something.

"She's great. I know therapy is really draining for her, but she's seemed happier lately."

It felt weird talking about what happened that night with Carlisle. He had been there, yes. And he knew what I had seen. But he hadn't brought it up once to me in all the time since then.

"Good. And you guys are being safe? I'm too young to be a grandfather."

I snorted. "You are forty-four. You were younger than I am now when I was born."

"Way too young and handsome," he said.

"You are ridiculous. I bet Mom wants grandchildren. Lots of them, running around her house, playing with her shoes," I said. Carlisle frowned at me.

"If you even mention grandchildren to your mother, she will pester you until you produce them. It's in your best interest to ignore the whole subject."

Carlisle was probably right about that. My mom became easily fixated on one specific issue and would stop at nothing to see it completed. She was stubborn.

"Fine," I replied. "And, to answer the question the triggered this whole tangent, yes, we are being safe."

My dad had given me the sex talk when I was ten. He didn't want me to become ill-informed, so he went into medical detail what happens during intercourse. It sounded fascinating to me as a child, and I became briefly obsessed with the idea of pleasure. My mother blames Carlisle for me becoming promiscuous. Carlisle assured her that it was perfectly normal for me to be such a whore, which she didn't believe at all. I don't think Carlisle believed it either, honestly, but he was trying to save face.

"Good. And you're pleasing her? She hasn't had to fake an orgasm to make you feel better?"

I rolled my eyes. "I know how to please a woman, Carlisle."

"You're so damn arrogant," he said. "You get it from your mother's side of the family."

"I'm not arrogant. I'm just really good." I had too many years of practice to suck at sex.

Carlisle finally gave up on the game and sat his controller on the coffee table. "Why do you think that?"

I smirked. "I got her to promise me whatever I wanted when we got back home and she was fully clothed. That's how I know I'm good." Carlisle gave me a dirty look. "I haven't decided what I want, so it will probably be quite a few things. I mean, I'm young and I have amazing vitality and a quick recovery time."

"God, I hate you."

I laughed. "No, you don't. You love me. You're just jealous that I'm getting laid and you aren't."

I heard the front door open and laughter echo through the foyer. Her voice was like Debussy's Sirens. I was entranced as I waited anxiously just to see her face again. I missed her so much and we were only separated a few hours.

She and my mother walked into the room, and they were both smiling. I took this to be a good sign. Bella smiled wide the moment she saw me. And she danced across the room before placing herself on my lap. Esme smirked and went and sat down on Carlisle's lap. He smirked at me.

I captured Bella's lips quickly. And I looked into her eyes. "How was it?"

"Interesting. Entertaining. A little awkward," Bella said. Esme giggled. And I watched as Bella flushed red.

I was trying to stare at her face. Honestly, I was. But my eyes started to trail down her body. They stopped at something very familiar.

I took the necklace in my hand and just stared at it. I knew what it was instantly. It was the family crest from the days when we were royalty. Every child born into the Cullen family was given the seal, as well as those invited into the family, usually by marriage. I ran my thumb over the crest.

I knew the necklace. My mother had worn it all the time when I was younger. And she had told me the story countless times. Carlisle gave it to her just a few months after they had met, proclaiming that he was in love with her. I was never sure as a child if my father was even capable of love, so I didn't pay too much attention to that part. But the point was that he had invited her into his world, his family, because he thought that he was sure about Esme.

And now Bella wore the necklace.

I swallowed hard. And I could feel as my jaw set. And I just kept staring at the crest, unable to take my eyes off of it no matter how hard I tried.

"Edward?" Bella asked softly.

I let out an unstable breath. And I kept my eyes focused, because I didn't know what would happen if I didn't.

Very carefully, she placed her fingers under my chin and lifted my face so that I was staring into her eyes. And I'm not proud to say it, but I fell apart. The futile tears that I had managed to hold back suddenly started to fall. She noticed and pulled me closer to her.

I couldn't properly explain exactly why I was crying. I just felt overwhelmed. It seemed like a process that had been going on for years. Everything had slowly been falling apart for so much of my life, that I barely recognized what was now staring me in the face, what I could no longer ignore. I was becoming whole again.

I never would have guessed that someday I would be on the road to reconciliation with my parents. Or that I would meet the perfect girl for me. Or that my parents would love her and accept her so completely. But here I was.

And, for the first time in years, I felt at home.


	22. Epilogue 1

I kissed her again.

"It's just for the weekend. You'll barely have time to miss me," I told her. She didn't believe me; I didn't believe me. The idea of spending a Thursday, Friday, and Saturday without her was killing me. But this was a trip that had to be made.

Bella yanked on my hair and pulled my mouth back down to hers for another kiss. "Bullshit. Why can't I just come with you?"

I smiled. "Alice is having her bachelorette party. And you're her maid of honor. Plus, you need to spend some quality time with Ali before the honeymoon. You're going to miss her for those two weeks while she and Jasper go at it like rabbits."

She pouted, sticking her bottom lip out.

It was all true about Alice's party and the honeymoon and J and Ali's mating habits. But that wasn't the main reason that Bella couldn't come. It sucked having to keep this from her, especially because of our no lying rule. I couldn't tell her, though. That would ruin the surprise.

Bella thought that I had a few shows in Olympia this weekend. The truth was that I had one on Thursday night. Straight from the show, I was taking the 101 up to Forks to visit her father. The whole thing had been planned with elaborate secrecy. Only Charlie and I knew about visit. And only I knew what the visit was about.

She was still really upset. "Fine. But only because I know that after a weekend away from me you are going to be so horny that the sex will be even more mind-blowing that usual." That's my girl. I nodded and kissed her again.

"Can we go to bed now that we have this settled? I have to wake up early tomorrow."

Bella scoffed. "Ten-thirty is not early. I wake up at six."

"It's early for me," I reminded her. "And can we not argue the night before I leave. I don't want to fight right now. I want to kiss you and think about how much I love you. And how I don't deserve to have such a beautiful, strong, intelligent woman like you in my life."

She sighed in exasperation. "Damn it, Edward. I wanted to fight. And I can't when you're all sweet like that."

I smiled and sat down on her bed, taking off my shoes. And then I took off my jeans. I was well aware of Bella's eyes on me while I stripped. The girl still couldn't keep her eyes off of my anatomy after six months together. I would say that I didn't understand it, that she had seen me so many times that by now she should be used to it, but I could comprehend it, because I was still fascinated by every inch of Bella.

I pulled off my t-shirt, leaving me in only my boxers. Bella turned around. Her arms were crossed over her chest; I could tell that from across the room. Slowly I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. Then I kissed the sensitive skin of her neck. Her sigh never failed to excite me.

But that didn't last long.

Bella pulled my arms from around her waist. She turned around to face me. And she took a step back, taking a step back so that she was against the wall.

"Why aren't you as upset about this as me? We haven't spent that much time apart since we first met before we were even together. Do you even care?" There was hurt radiating from her. I tried to take a step closer to her, but she put her hands up defensively. "No. You aren't going to fix this by kissing me. I need you to talk to me, Edward. Because I just…I don't understand."

I closed my eyes and groaned. "Isabella, please trust me."

The room was completely still. And I still hadn't opened my eyes because I didn't want to look at her and see her upset or pissed when all I wanted to do was make her happy. My entire trip was about making her happy.

God, why couldn't she just trust me? I was torn up about being without her. I practically breathed Bella—she was better than air. But I had to go.

"Are you even going to miss me?" she asked quietly.

I laughed once and opened my eyes. "Are you kidding? I'm going to miss you every second until I'm back."

"Stupid record executive coming to the shows in Olympia," she muttered to herself. She was right about that. If this guy liked me, then who knows what could happen. A record deal? Publicity? Fame?

I took a step toward her, trying once again to close the few feet of distance that separated us. It felt like the fucking Berlin Wall was there between us. This time though she didn't try to stop me. I pulled her in my arms and put my forehead on hers.

"I love you. And I'm going to miss you. But I have to go this weekend. What happens in just a few days could change everything for us both."

"I know," she whispered. "I'm sorry I'm being like this. I don't know where this bout of insecurity came from. I'm being crazy."

I smiled. "Your craziness is one of the reasons I love you."

"Shut up," she said playfully and slapped me in the arm.

***

I stood on the front porch and rung the doorbell, praying that it wasn't too early. I had left after the show and had driven Thelma through the night. It was a little before six and I could barely keep my eyes open. The bags under my eyes probably made me look like a zombie. And I felt just as lively.

"Edward," Charlie said as he answered the door already in his police uniform. The first time that Bella had brought me here to meet him he had been wearing his uniform as well. And he kept his gun on the table. It took him a while to warm up to me. "You look like hell." Maybe he still hadn't fully warmed to me.

"Thanks," I replied, my eyes sliding closed of their own volition. I had to force them back open. "That's sweet. Are you going to let me in?"

He laughed. "Come in. Do you want some coffee?"

I stepped through the doorway and into the house. Bella's house always seemed more lived in, more real than my childhood home. It was comfortable. That was the thing that I noticed the first time I had come with her to Forks. And it was always the first thing that I noticed every time that I came back.

"No. No, I'm just going to crash." I yawned for a good fifteen seconds. It was a personal record for me.

"Okay. I won't get back until seven-ish maybe later, so you are on your own for lunch. I think I have stuff for sandwiches in the refrigerator. And tonight we can go out for dinner and you can tell me why you are really here."

Charlie gave me a look like he already knew why I was here. And I was sure that he probably did. But I wasn't conscious enough to discuss it in my present state.

"Okay," I said, running a hand through my already messy hair.

"Go to bed, Edward," Charlie said, his voice full of pity.

I don't remember climbing the stairs or collapsing on Bella's bed, but obviously I did because that's where I woke up six hours later. My body was stiff, as if I hadn't moved a single time while I was asleep. And all I remembered about my dream was that it was better than this present reality, because Bella had been with me.

***

I ate my hamburger in silence. Charlie had yet to bring up anything and, to be honest, I was losing my nerve. He had his gun on the table again and, though we were out in public, I knew that if I said something he didn't like that he would shoot me. Witnesses be damned. It wasn't a very settling thought.

"You look like you are guilty of something," he commented out of nowhere.

I looked at him in fear.

He didn't like me. This was a stupid idea. I shouldn't have come.

"Edward, seriously, calm down," Charlie said. "Just say what you need to say."

I struggled in vain for words for a few seconds, so I closed my mouth and took another drink of my water. "You know that I love Bella more than anything," I started.

Charlie's jaw set as he looked at me with contempt. "Just," he said interrupting me, before stopping his own train of thought. "Edward, is my daughter pregnant?"

I could feel all the blood drain from me. "No," I said. "Not that I know of." I took another drink of water.

Charlie laughed. "Okay, good. You scared me with the way you started talking."

I laughed humorlessly. I was still shaken up. "You fucking scared me with that question," I muttered to myself, but he heard. He had ears like a hawk. Or something else that had really good hearing.

"Sorry. You looked scared shitless before and I really thought that's why you were here," Charlie said.

"No," I said, still trying to recover.

Charlie didn't usually talk much, but he was dominating our conversation because I couldn't get any words out. "Tell me why you are here." It wasn't a suggestion. It was an order. And I needed that push.

I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out the little box, placing it on the table in front of him. "I love Bella, sir, and I want her to be my wife. It is customary in my family to approach the father and ask for his blessing before asking the daughter, thus my visit." Charlie was quiet for a few seconds and the silence was killing me. I looked at the unopened box on the table, focusing all of my nerves and trying to calm down.

"She would hate me asking all of this, accuse me of being misogynic or something, but whatever. You love her?" he asked.

"More than anything else," I replied. She was beautiful. She was kind and loving. And she looked adorable in my beanie.

"You're going to take care of her? Make sure that she is happy and safe?"

"Of course."

"And you will treat her right?" I could see the threat in his eyes.

"I wouldn't dream of hurt her." Also, he had guns, lots of guns with which he could kill me.

Charlie sighed and looked down at the box that held the engagement ring. "I'm trying really hard to think of a reason to say no, Edward. But I can't. I've never in her entire life seen Bella as happy as when she is with you. You're good to her. I see that. So, yeah, you have my blessing to marry my daughter."


	23. Epilogue 2

The wedding went perfectly, no mishaps or embarrassing moments, though Delilah Whitlock wasn't exactly one to make a scene. Edward said that she was more likely to ruin everything in private. Jasper's mother still wasn't thrilled with his choice for a wife, but no longer had any say in the matter. The "I do" had been said by both parties. They were married.

My duties as maid of honor had finally been fulfilled.

I stood by the bride with a smile on my face through two and a half hours of wedding pictures. I had calmed her down when she had a mini-breakdown after Delilah called her a gold digger in front of Alice' parents. I had walked down the aisle, held her flowers, and handed her tissue during the ceremony. My speech was said. Now all I had to do was enjoy the reception with my wonderful boyfriend.

Alice and Jasper's wedding was ridiculous.

It was at one of the Masen's many luxurious hotels. And there were hundreds of people there. I knew for a fact that Alice didn't know half of them and they were only invited because of his grandparents. Everything was a business opportunity for these wealthy people.

I stood at the edge of the dance floor staring at my best friend and her new husband. She looked lovely, radiant. I don't think I had ever seen Alice so happy, and that means something. Ali was always upbeat and positive. But she became a whole new level of joyful when she looked into Jasper's eyes.

I wondered if I looked like that to anyone, if I became someone else when I was staring at Edward.

I squeezed his hand once. He looked down at me curiously. I just smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too," he replied. His smile was crooked and it made my heart flip out.

A cell phone rang. Edward pulled it from his pocket. He looked at the number for a couple of seconds. "I have to take this," he said. And he walked out of the room.

Rosalie came up and stood next to me. "They look so happy, don't they?"

I nodded. "If I end up half as happy as Alice, then I'll consider my life a success."

"Bella," Rose said softly. And then she stopped talking.

"What?" I asked, clearly curious.

She shook her head, her wavy blonde hair bouncing slightly. "Never mind. Maybe this isn't the time or place."

"No, it's fine. Tell me."

Rosalie smiled wide. "Emmett and I are going to get a place together." She sighed. "I don't know what that means for you and Edward, but it won't be for a few months, after our lease on the apartment runs out. I wanted to give you some warning."

"Thanks. I don't know what I'll do, but I'll talk to Edward."

"Okay. And, Bella, you are just as happy as Alice. You glow when Edward is around." She smiled. "Speaking of the handsome devil, he's coming back. My cue to skedaddle."

I felt someone wrap their arms around my waist a few seconds later. And he kissed along my neck. He loved to do that.

"Can we leave yet?" he asked.

Edward had been fidgeting since we showed up this morning. I thought that I felt uncomfortable, but he was way worse. His parents had been slowly trying to ease him back into Seattle society and he had been fighting them every step of the way. He didn't want back in. He wanted them to just stop trying to make him someone he wasn't. Reconciliation with Carlisle and Esme had been a stressful process for all of us. He could usually handle small doses. And the wedding had been the longest event thus far. I knew the only reason that he had stayed this long was because of Jasper and Alice.

"I'm the maid of honor and you're the best man. We can't leave yet. It's their wedding. They're only having one."

He scoffed. "My parents renewed their vows for their ten year anniversary and the second wedding was almost as big as the first."

I molded myself against him, getting comfortable in his arms. "Yeah, but that's not Alice and Jasper's style. One elaborate, over-priced wedding will be enough for them."

"Our wedding isn't going to be anything like this circus," he said quietly. I felt my breath catch in my throat.

Sure, we had discussed marriage. But it was always from a distance, almost as if it was some possible event way in the future. Edward never spoke about marrying me so concretely.

I convinced him to dance with me a couple of times. And we drank some punch and ate some cake. After the bride and groom left, Edward felt we had no one left to please, so he pulled me from the building like it was on fire.

On the drive back to his apartment, he looked over at me. He just kept glancing, like I would disappear or something. It was making me anxious.

"We need to discuss something," he finally said. It didn't ease any of the worry in the pit of my stomach.

"Okay," I said. What the fuck was going on?

"The phone call at the reception," he said, taking his eyes off the road to look at me. "It was the record executive who came to the show in Olympia. He said that I have a good live set, but he wants to hear a recording, so I'm going to record a demo for him. And, if he likes it, then he's going to take it to his boss. It's nothing concrete, but…" Edward shrugged.

"That's amazing," I said. I was so proud of him.

I looked up and realized that we were nowhere near his apartment. But the neighborhood looked familiar. I was still trying to figure out where we were when he parked the car.

I looked out of the window in confusion. And then he was opening the door for me. We were both still in our wedding garb and way too over-dressed to be at a park. Edward led me to a bench. He sat me down.

"You look so confused," he said nervously. Why was he nervous? I was the one who had no idea what we were doing at a park.

And then it came back to me. After the benefit, after Edward took me to dinner, we had gone for a walk. And we sat on a park bench and asked each other stupid questions to try to get to know one another. It was this park. It was this bench. And he remembered that.

"I know where we are," I said. "I'm just not sure why."

Edward looked up at the gray sky quickly. It was December. And I was only in a dress. As lovely of a gesture as this was, I was cold. He let out a shaky breath.

And then he lowered himself to one knee, right there in the grass.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't believe my eyes. And they were tearing up, so I could barely see anyway.

"Isabella Marie Swan," he said, his voice shaking. I had never heard him sound like that. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the little box and placing it in my hands. "I love you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I was wondering if, maybe, you would be willing to put up with me for the rest of our lives."

The tears kept falling and they were closing up my throat. And I wanted to do was answer him. But I couldn't even breathe anymore. So, I nodded furiously and kept trying to clear my throat.

"Yes," I finally said. And I leaned forward to kiss him. "Without a doubt, yes."


End file.
